Friday, August 31, 2012

Blue Moon

No your eyes aren't playing tricks on you......there are two posts tonight.  Tonight is the blue moon, it is darting in and out of the clouds......our great nephew Jordan (he's 4) just called to say he could see the moon, " and it is really really big."  I have passed on the love of a full moon to him, I think it is something we will always share, at least I hope so.
Where ever you are tonight, I hope your blue moon is really really big!  May its brightness light your night and your life.

Shelter From the Storm

How do you weather life's storms?  Some of us duck and run for cover, some walk directly into the
squall, and others....well we don our protective gear and hope for the best.

I have spent a great deal of time lately thinking about how I have been weathering the storms.  I think I have done a little bit of everything......I know the storms of life can take their toll....when the spirit is beaten, the body will begin to show the wear and tear.  Some storms rage so hard for so long, that some throw their hands into the air, they turn to drugs, alcohol, sex, anything they can find to numb themselves.

Living here in North Central Alabama, I am well aware of storms......tornadoes, hurricanes, ice......our weather can turn violent in the blink of an eye.   The storms of life hit fast too......illness, heartbreak,
some of it you see coming, but too often it blindsides you.

My grandparents had a storm pit.......a hole dug deep into a hill side behind their house, that was their shelter from the parents had a basement, Rick and I go to our bathroom and hope for the best.  My shelter from life's storms.......friends, family, breath work and yoga, meditation, music, art and my far my shelter has held strong.

Tonight if the storms of your life are raging, don't give up, don't numb for your personal shelter......find that place, that friend, that gives you shelter from the storm.....the storms won't stop, but with can wait it out.....and see the sun once again.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Hope and Love

It has been a stressful day, the nausea hit in the middle of the night, the lung gunk seems to be building.....but I rested and then went to work to teach my classes.  Nothing seemed right today, depression, sadness, heart wrenching stuff......I came home and feel beaten.  Some days, because of where I work, life seems to have little value......I am grateful to be off for a couple of body and my spirit needs some recharging.

A student told me today, that he didn't have a clue about how much I was paid, but he knew I wasn't paid enough.......I told him, I didn't do it for the's nice to be compensated, and appreciated don't get me wrong......but I do it for the love, for the service to humankind.  But days like today, I know that I can't reach everyone, can't help everyone.....and can save no one.

Some more medical tests tomorrow, yeah!!!! ( can you hear the sarcasm in my voice?)  The blue moon comes out tomorrow night, hope the clouds go away and he shines his light on Empire, Al.
I am hoping also that I can convince Rick to take me to lunch Blackrock  Grill so I can chow down on an oyster po boy!

Wishing you all hope and love,
Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Wednesday, August 29, 2012


Crossroads.......we have all been some point in our lives, we have been at the crossroads.
We live in an area that is a crossroads for weather systems, where the warm moist air from the Gulf of Mexico is forever clashing with the jet stream from the West.  I love the legend about the incredible blues singer/musician Robert Johnson who made a deal with the devil at a lonely crossroads in rural Mississippi.  So it seems Crossroads can turn your world upside down.

Crossroads, that place where roads collide......choices can be  made in a blink of an eye, or be excruciatingly long.  Crossroads can be exhilarating, scary or numbing.  But, the thing about can't stay there forever, sooner or got to way or the other.

Crossroads, in rural Alabama on almost any Saturday'll find teenagers asking for donations.....for a class trip, gear for their team, a sick classmate.  Crossroads usually involve stop signs.......a reminder it is best to stop and think about your next move.  There are major crossroads for almost everyone.....things such as education, choice of a life mate, or divorce, career choices, retirement choices. Crossroads force you to make a decision, no matter how painful or scary.

Crossroads, at some of them, we have probably all made some sort of deal with the devil......and dealt with the consequences.  If all roads lead home, then quite possibly, sooner or later......there is a crossroads that leads home......and maybe home is where we are all headed after all.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Tuesday Musings

First, my bad, should have looked at my day planner, blue moon is Friday night,not Saturday!
Classes today were special, not sure if it is the energy from Hurricane Isaac, the blue moon or just how it was suppose to be......sometimes there is so much love, so much kindness, so much peace in the room that it is palatable, and that is exactly the way it was today.  It wasn't about the postures,it was the breathe, and the place that everyone wanted to be.  I went to work today not feeling well at all, I came home uplifted and restored.  The lung gunk is still there, but my spirit is in way better shape.

It seems the days I think I can't give anymore, those are the days that some how, some way, I have more to give than I can imagine.  The most wondrous thing of all.......I get back even more than I give!

The monsoons started today, I love tropical rain bands.......there are sweeps of pouring rain, moments of cool breezes, then warm stillness and then pouring rain again.  I knew today, as the rain poured down, there was a promise of could feel brief moments, teasers if you will of fall.  The purple beauty berries are blooming, tinges of red and orange on leaves, goldenrods  beginning to bud.

Today like every other day, was a gift......I am grateful.....that the hurricane is not a cat 4 or 5 or even a 3, that hopefully some places that need the rain will get it by the weekend,  and most of all.....I am grateful to know love.


Monday, August 27, 2012

Everything Changes

Did you know that this week there is a blue moon?  Yep, August has two full moons, and the second one arrives Saturday night.  On the way home from class tonight, I looked over my right shoulder,and the moon was already brilliant.  It was a beautiful sky, with the clouds beginning to swirl from the south east in wisps and that big moon shimmering through.  The weather guys are saying rain (and lots of it) for us the next five days......guess that means  I might not see the full blue moon Saturday night.

As I taught my class tonight, I looked out the windows of the community center,  the sunset was painting the sky with swirls of pinks and corals......I wanted to tell the class to look, but they were already beginning relaxation, and I knew at that point, the sunset didn't matter to them.  There is something about major changes in the weather that trigger beauty in nature.   I suppose today was the calm before the storm, it was 93 degrees with the perfect balance of blue skies and white clouds.

As the weather changes, I think about the changes that take place in our lives......some of the changes are like the weather and can be violent and disturbing, but others like  the sunset and the blue moon can be spiritual and filled with beauty and goodness.  In my classes today at work, some of the students talked about how difficult change could be, and I agree it can be hard.......but everything changes, that is what life is.
A change in weather, a change in your life.....both can be extreme, both can be hard......but the certainty is this......everything changes.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Hurricane Watch

So, in the spring we watch for tornadoes, in the fall for hurricanes........waiting to see what Isaac will do, where he's going.  Even though we are almost 200 miles inland, we have had eyes of hurricanes and hurricanes pass over where we live.  Getting our plan ready, making sure our friends and family do too.
It is a waiting game for the next few days.   Will keep you posted.

Tests and doctor visits scheduled for this week, but that all depends on Isaac.  The dogs are acting kinda strange, they know the weather is changing.  My body knows a change is coming as well, the aches and pains are tenacious.....but it has been a beautiful day, and suppose to be even more beautiful tomorrow.

Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Saturday, August 25, 2012

The Funk Brothers

A few weeks ago there was a documentary on the Sundance Channel, Standing in the Shadows of Motown.
I recorded it, and tonight Rick and I watched it.  It is about The Funk Brothers, the group of musicians who played on most  every hit ever recorded on the Motown label in Detroit.  Most of the musicians were incredible jazz players.  As I sat and watched this show tonight, I got chills, cried tears and laughed.

This group, some of the best players on the planet, The Funk Brothers were responsible for the tapestry of songs that shaped most of my young years, songs that to this day take me to another place.  As I watched and listened to these men who created musical history, all I could think about was the amazing  creative
string of hits they had played on, and for all these years, very few knew who made that sound.  They were Motown's essence, the very backbone of a musical sound that is known the world over.

If you love music, if you like me, grew up loving the songs of yourself a favor and watch this show.  You will love the music even more, as you meet the meet the players and understand the love that was poured into all those recordings.  I thought about what made me love those songs so much, they are a part of my life forever, and I know practically every word.  Those songs, even the saddest one (What Becomes of the Broken Hearted) created memories, hope, and a love for music that will  be with me always.

So, for those of you who live in the Detroit area, anytime, any of the Funk Brothers are playing, go see them, show them your love, they are national treasures.  Rick and I are planning a visit, a mission if you will, we want to hear The Funk Brothers.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Genius and Stupidity

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
Albert Einstein

I think that pretty much says it all tonight. I wonder if Einstein
had any inkling how many of his words were so profound. I would have loved to have sat and talked with him.  I envy those who had that opportunity.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Day After

I slept most of the day, on the couch.......I usually do the day after treatment.  Each time I opened my eyes, I was astounded by the brilliance of the light outside our windows.  Our great room faces north, and as the days grow shorter, the angle of the sun's rays dances through those panes of glass.  There are four hummingbird feeders, a bird bath and a couple of regular bird feeders in front of those windows.  Today, there were so many hummingbirds, I lost count.  I kept thinking this must be what Chicago's airport looks like at peak time.  Those little hummers were flitting, and darting, they belly bumped each other and buzzed their friends away from  the nectar. I got dizzy just watching.

The sky looked like the skies out west, that blue that dazzles and shimmers, the blue that you wish every sky could be.  Our days have been perfect, mid-eighties for highs, lows in the of my friends and yoga students gave me a Momma's and Papa's cd Monday night after class, it is the only music I have listened to since.  I really have been California Dreaming today.  I am still sleepy, now the bed calls my name.

Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Treatment #7

My relationship continues with those big green chairs.  My hematologist told me this morning that she believes God placed me in that big green chair for a reason.......she said just last week that three different patients asked when I was having my next treatment, they wanted to be scheduled for theirs at the same time......of course, with the HEPA laws she couldn't tell them.  She laughed and told me that every where she practiced someone asked about me.

I can't help myself, each time I sit in those chairs,hooked to that drip......I feel I have to connect to those around me.  I see their faces, their fear, and see how illness is changing their lives.  I try to smile at everyone,
I sit and mentally send them love and prayers for their healing. I do the same for those three incredible nurses who walk a million miles, comforting, caring.  Maybe I am there for a reason.  I know that all of this  has changed me......and the change started with knowing I would be visiting a hematologist/oncologist last December.  One of things I crave most these days......time with friends and family.......I need them, I need to hear their voices, see their faces, feel their hugs......I just can't get enough.

Today was a happy day in the infusion of the patients announced she would not have to come for any more chemo can't do a happy dance hooked to the drip, but there were tears of joy, and cheers of gladness. The sun's rays were brilliant coming through those windows.  Another patient who had seemed so down the last time I saw him, was downright perky today......he's getting better too.
Hope is contagious, and when people have no hope, there is nothing sadder.  Today, hope spread like the rays of the sun through that different from the last time.

I think at any given time, we are all someplace for a reason.....and we should never forget that.  Who knows what a smile, a kind word, a touch or hug will do for someone hurting......every moment I spend in that green chair, hammers home the realty that life is short.....that we all matter......we are all connected.
Six months ago......seems so far away, and life was different then.  That green chair has forever changed my life.....just like it does for all the others who sit there.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012


I see drama in various stages almost every day, I am astounded by how many seemingly intelligent people stoop to drama and manipulation.  There have been people in my life who thrive on chaos.  It is almost as if they did not feel alive unless they were in the midst of drama, chaos and turmoil.  My mom seemed to thrive on drama, many times I felt as though I spent my life trying to "fix" what her storms had ravaged.

Seeing drama and chaos first hand, I think that those who are fueled by the tempests are really focusing their energies on everything, but that which is taking place inside them.  I think it is fear driven, and insecurities that feed and cause it all to grow.  Being in the midst of drama can suck you into a black vacuum, where there is no light at the end of the tunnel.  Drama loves company.......and any encouragement is gasoline on the fire.

There are also those, who appear to be peaceful, who secretly thrive on drama themselves.  On first impression, it seems they are solid and grounded, but as you spend more time with them, you see that they 
encourage drama and chaos.  It may be through the people they choose to be with, how they express themselves, but enough time with these closet drama lovers and you will be in the midst of hurricanes.

There is no hiding from those who thrive and love drama, but you can protect yourself......most families have a few drama "kings and queens", if you find yourself in their kingdom, don't participate, stay neutral and is not your job to fix or pick up the pieces.  If you have friends or a work environment where drama resides.......limit your time and contact, keep your comments to yourself, and duck and run for cover whenever possible......and when all else fails.......breathe.

Monday, August 20, 2012


Daily I am awestruck by the wonderful amazing people in my life.  As I taught my class at the community center tonight, I looked at all the smiling faces.  This group rocks!  Ages stretch from 14 to 82, men and women, and they come because they love yoga.  Some sit in chairs, some are as fit as can be......but they all have they challenges.

I have cancer survivors, knee replacements, all sorts of pins and mends, those who have been near death too many times,  who have survived horrific car accidents, diseases, and tragedies.  They are my heroes.
I look at them, as they breathe, as they  move from pose to pose, they are living testimonies to the human spirit.....they are living testimonies to the power of yoga, of breath and movement.

It has become a family of sorts, this yoga class.  We worry when someone misses class, we know when they are sick or dealing with problems.  Many of them have become involved with the local charity, Backyard
Blessings,   Some of them meet before class to walk, others come early to chat.  This class has brought all of these incredible spirits together.

Each time class ends, I try to always let them know how much they mean to me, how grateful I am for their energy and time, how humbled I am to teach them.  I have turned down opportunities to play, and participate in various events because of this class.......but they know, they come first.  Some of them were there at a local gym many years ago when I taught my very first yoga class, their loyalty is heartwarming. They laugh and struggle through the challenging postures,  and tell me constantly how much they love the final relaxation.
And at the end of each class, they tell me how much they love me.

I think I may be the luckiest yoga teacher in the world.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

A Great Adventure

Sometimes you just need your friends...... today, since I could once again walk and stand  without the world spinning, our friends Jamie and Kaye and Fred came over.  We celebrated Jamie's birthday, which was yesterday.  I have truly felt the love sister cooked lunch for me, which was fabulous as always, and then our friends came by this afternoon......and I got an incredible note from an old friend.  I think all the love that was sent my way, made a difference.  I am not 100 percent, but I am so much better.

Human kindness, love and caring......good medicine.  It's the kind of medicine we need in our lives every day.  I cannot imagine going through illness, mourning the loss of loved ones, without a friend or family member by my side.  I have watched some of my "chair buddies" who get infusions, they arrive by themselves, and a Taxi picks them up.....I hope and pray that circumstance prevents their loved ones from being there with them......but sadly, I think some of them are very much alone.  Life is tough enough when you're healthy, but to be sick and alone.......I can't even imagine.  Rick keeps telling me that I can't solve everyone's problems, that I am in worse shape than some that  I want to help.......but helping is what I do, it is how I am wired, for better or worse.

We sat around the kitchen table tonight and talked of travels.......Fred has been to every state, but maybe 3 or 4, Jamie and Kaye have gone to amazing places around the would be fun, to travel with friends and go some place on an Peru or Russia or Australia......who knows what the future holds?
For now, it was a great adventure just to have them sit around my kitchen table, hearing their laughter and seeing their faces, and hearing their was a good night, an adventure that will be remembered on down the road.

Saturday, August 18, 2012


Not the evening I had planned......I was so excited, I had baked my  momma's pound cake last night ( resisted the urge to eat half)  the house was clean, the menu set, my friends were coming for dinner.
Rick and I had gone to Walmart just before noon for a couple of last minute items.  Standing in the line,
I did not feel so well.   We got home, a few last minute touches, we had forgotten a couple of things,
Rick drove back to Sumiton.  The kitchen floor looked a little iffy, I decided to give it a mop.  Things went from not well to god awful.  By the time Rick got home, I could barely stand.

Since the treatments began in February, I have had major bouts of dizziness and nausea.  The immune doc keeps saying it has nothing to do with the treatments, just a really nasty sinus infection.  Whatever the hell it is,  I am so ready for it to be over.  A couple of adaverts (not sure of spelling), several hours passed out on the sofa, I can walk and type.  Have you ever had a shower sitting in the floor because you couldn't stand?

Rick says it has poured rain this evening, so maybe it was good that our friends didn't drive the long drive to our house.  I have a fridge full of food that has to be cooked soon, so hopefully, we can do this tomorrow.
I hope my friend got to celebrate his birthday tonight, not only did Rick have to deal with the sick me, but he also had to deal with crying, sobbing me.   Six more months of treatments, please tell me, it doesn't include six more months of this spinning nausea too.  The pity party is in full blast tonight.

I hope Scarlet O'Hara is right, tomorrow is another day........
Goodnight Sweet dreams

Friday, August 17, 2012


Tonight I made my momma's pound cake, I had not baked one in a very long time.  Tomorrow is a friend's birthday, he LOVES ice cream, so I figured what better to go with ice cream, than pound cake.
I thought about my  mom so much as I baked her cake tonight.  She loved cooking for friends and family, and she was a very good cook.

My mom taught me to cook at a very young age,  Rick says that is one of the reasons he married me, I am such a good is years of practice, and also a love of cooking.  I am also cooking birthday dinner for my friend tomorrow night.

Through the years, I have stressed to my nieces and nephews the importance of cooking skills.  Home cooked food is less expensive and usually much better than most restaurants.  Home cooked meals can also be much healthier.  Sharing a meal you cooked is an incredible way to spend time with those you love.
Cooking is a skill that can set you apart from the crowd.

If you don't know your way around the kitchen, it is never too late to start......there are basic cooking classes in most cities, and great cook books are every where.  Start with simple, and then get as creative as you dare.  Someone will always want to taste your wares.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Lack Luster

It has been one of those days, when life seems to have lost a little luster.  It happens, who knows why, but you just get up one morning and things appear rather flat.  It could be fatigue, too much rain, too much sun, too much work, not enough work, too hot, too cold......things just don't glow as they should.  It doesn't last,  it truly is a passing's just the waiting for it to pass.

It is days like today, when if at all need to shake things up......go some place something different.  That is not always possible,  so you take a deep breath and wait.  Change is inevitable,
and the luster will reappear.  We have a dog with cataracts, I figure days like this one......that must be what she sees's all a little fuzzy, nothing is clear.

These days make you appreciate the ones that sparkle......make you long for the ones that shine....and they will sure as the sun rises in the east.

Good night, Sweet dreams

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

A Hug

Sitting here tonight is difficult......I miss Blackie Bear.  It has been a little over a month since he passed over the rainbow bridge.  I miss his gentle nudge as I sat here each writing this blog, he would demand at least one
hug per blog.  I look for him each time I open the front door.  I miss him lying in the kitchen floor each time I cook a meal and I especially miss him on my morning walks.

It's funny how a large furry animal can steal your heart.....and leave such a big  hole when he is gone.
A friend sent me a sympathy card  in memory of Bear today, actually I have received several cards, many loving e-mails and calls.  I appreciate them all.

So tonight, in memory of Blackie Bear......a hug to you all.  May each of you at some point in your life, know the love of such a gentle creature.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012


Exercise.......for some it is a lifestyle, for others a dirty word.  The secret.....moderation.  One of the reasons
many never stick with an exercise program.......they dive in, and burn out or injure themselves in a short while.

Most think the only way they will ever get fit, spend hours at a gym, buy expensive machines, run themselves into oblivion.  If you are overweight and out of shape, you're setting yourself up for a fall and disappointments.  Take baby steps.......ten minute walks, take the steps at work, park your car away from the store front.  When watching tv, during commercials, step in place, pick up some light free weights, do a couple of yoga poses. If you sit all day at your job, take a movement break........stand up (at least once an hour), stretch, do some deep'll feel better, and be more productive.  If your energy falls around 3:00pm, drink some water, eat a little protein/carbohydrate combo (like peanut butter, crackers or maybe a cheese stick and fruit) and then walk around for a few minutes.

I believe movement is vital for our well-being.......we may not enjoy it, or want to do it, but honestly......use it or lose it.  Every morning in my day planner......I write in, walk.....and yes, I teach  8-10 yoga classes a week.  My daily goal for walking, 10,000 steps.....I don't always make it, but I get as many steps in as I can.
Buy a pedometer,  the first few days ( you have to wear it) just measure the steps you make in an average day.  Most will tell you, under 5,000 is considered sedentary.

As you age, it is vital that you keeps the blood pumping, the oxygen flowing, the joints lubricated,  and a sparkle in the eyes.  Movement helps you deal with stress, raises the metabolism, and if you walk get your daily dose of vitamin D.  You may say you have no time to exercise.......I promise you, there is time......five and ten minute increments.....that's all it takes......five minute walk in the morning,
five minutes at lunch, five minutes at break, five minutes in the've got a 20 minute walk in.

Monday, August 13, 2012

What Do I Want

Almost every day for the past few years, I have written,either in my day planner or my note app on my phone, a list.......What Do I Want.  It is quite similar to my vision board, but there are no pictures, just a list.

Looking back over a few of the old ones today I realized that several things I wanted, I had gotten.
I think that list, that writing down makes a difference.  It is a very selfish list, What Do I Want.
But, I learned a few years back after being a caregiver........what I want is important too.

Many people do not know what they want.  They feel dissatisfied, unhappy and when you ask them what do they want......the answers are vague and generic.  I think, you really have to think about 
what you want and be very specific.  When you make that list......What Do I begin to look at who you are, what your needs and wants are, and that it is ok to make that list.

If you have never made a What Do I Want list, I suggest doing so.  No, you can't put that you want good health for your family, or peace and love, etc.  This is ALL about what YOU  want.  Do you really want to lose weight, then write down as though you are already there the number you yearn for......example, if you want to weigh 125 pounds.....write down, I weigh 125 pounds.  If you want to go back to school........example, My Master's Degree is really impressive.  Writing this list, this way and looking at it every day, causes conflict in the brain and that conflict pushes you to solve the conflict by making what your eyes read, a reality.

On my past lists, obtaining my 200RYT,  performing 2-4 gigs per month, no need to take cholesterol
meds anymore......those are now reality. Take five minutes, and start to really think about.....What Do I Want......make the it every day.....get ready for results.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Sacred Opportunity

Our music "think tank" met this afternoon........I know this may  sound strange to many, but I could spend my  life on a bus, with musicians.......yes, I have met a few in my life that I would run over with the bus.....but these guys and gal are the best.   They are talented, smart, funny with hearts of gold, and a love of all things music.  We are planning a weekend together, to write songs and play music.   Could it get any better than that?  Well , yeah.......we are also booking gigs who knows, maybe the bus thing is in the future.

There is something magical that happens when creative energy fills the room, something supernatural takes place when songs are written, and when there is connection on stage with musicians and the is a feeling  that cannot be explained, only experienced.  My mom use to tell me that I would outgrow this "music thing", but my dad always told her no, it was a part of me, it was in my blood.  My dad was right.  It has flowed  through my veins since I was a child and will be with me when I die.....I hope it is with me in the next life.

When I was younger, I thought that I wanted the fame, but standing on the fringes looking in.....I realized, it wasn't about the fame, it wasn't about the money, as corny and strange as it might sound, it really was all about the music.  Once in Memphis, many years ago, I saw a beautiful old woman
( maybe in her 70's) singing in one of the blues I sat there and listened to her sing, she looked younger and younger.....the music transformed her.  It hit me right then and there,  music transcends all're never too young or too old.

Tonight, if there is live music in your town, support it........go is a sacred opportunity, to sit and let someone bare their soul for your entertainment.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

To Anyone At Dell Computers

I hope that someone connected to Dell Computers happens to see this least once a week as I am typing on this Dell which I own, my blog leaves this universe, and cannot be found.
Words that I have poured my heart into, are gone forever..........tonight I was writing about kindness, three paragraphs into my blog......all was lost......not to be found anywhere.

I am really struggling at this point to think of anything kind about Dell.......
All I can say tonight, as soon as I have the funds.......Apple will be my tool for writing.
I know I am not the only person who has these issues with Dell........
But I will not have them much longer, to those of you at Dell, if anyone out there is reading or listening or even cares......shame on you, for making such a shoddy product.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Raining Rambles

storms rolling across the south tonight, not bad ones, just summer thunderstorms with lightening streaks and flashes, much better than any Fourth of July fireworks show..... These are the kind of storms I love, with the rain pouring, and flashes of silver streaking across the heavens.  When I was a kid, I honestly thought that when it rained on my neighborhood, it was raining all over the world.

I have a new schedule at work for a while, I am off on Fridays.......I need these three day weekends.........the old body is still not where she should be, but she's getting there.  Rick loves me being off on Fridays, he is thinking weekend escapes!

I am rambling a bit tonight, but for some reason my brain has raced the past couple of days, did not sleep much last night and not a bit sleepy will catch up with me, and I will be running on empty.   I found new water colors for the cards I will be painting for my friend's shop.
They are beautiful rich colors, can't wait to get started!

I think I have drifted too far from the shore, as far as my train of thoughts tonight.......hopeful that sleep will come, and all will be back to normal.
Good night, Sweet dreams

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Preventative Medicine

Several new students today........a couple of them were so nervous about coming to yoga, they were bouncing off the walls.....and as always, a couple were rather pissed that their counselors had written yoga into their program.  It is all good.....the proof is at the end of class, when no one wants to leave, and soft serene faces glow with the inner peace they were joking about forty-five minutes earlier.

Some days I almost don't believe it can breath and movement do so much?  But I am living proof......I have COPD and I am also a singer.  Years of yoga, years of breath work, of fresh air, good food, daily walks, and lots of has made all the difference.  Not to say I don't have difficult days, and respiratory infections can be down right scary,  but I know yoga and breath work are the magic bullets for me.

I have taught meditation classes every day this week, I keep stressing that even if you don't want to have a yoga practice......the breath work and meditation are things that anyone can do to achieve better mental and physical health.  I live for the day, that we in America teach preventative medicine.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Jordan Days

 Jordan spent the day with me.......he is four years old and now knows more about my iPad than I will ever know.  His favorite app is Team Umizoomi, which teaches basic math......he also knows more math than I did in the first grade.

His favorite thing to like the wind. We have to go to the barn each time he visits, he is so is hard for the dogs to keep up with him.

Jordan always teaches me something when he is here. I am always a better person because of my time with him.
He reminds me to laugh, to run, and to ask questions. Today he taught me, that if you squeeze a erupts like a volcano.  He also advised me to eat more dark chocolate.  He loves the kind with caramel and sea salt.

Days with Jordan are gifts that can never be replaced.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012


"Hate, it has caused a lot of problems in the world, but has not solved one yet." - Maya Angelou

A few days ago, a friend had shared this post with me on FB.  I am not big on FB, I use it to let our fans know when we are playing and when I am teaching a community yoga class.  It seems to me that FB is a tool that is used to spread a lot of hate, anger and mis-information.  But, when my friend shared this wonderful quote by Maya Angelou, I had to share it too.  In my heart, I keep believing if we all raise the level of our vibrations, good and love will win out.  It has been interesting, so many others have shared my post.

The quote is just such common would think, that after awhile, we'd all get it.......that hate is a destructive force, one that is used in politics and creates fear, and breeds more hate......and that all the hate in the world has not solved anything.....but it has made a lot of people rich and powerful.

So maybe, the next time, we feel fearful, the next time we are being manipulated by political and religious leaders, we stop the hate........just refuse to let it grow and instead, send blessings and love to those that are different, those that are unlike us.  The hate has to stop, it spreads more quickly than the most virulent kills the young and destroys countries, and families.....and those that spread it so readily, do it with joy in their hearts and a twinkle in their eye.

We can stop it, we can stop the is not too late.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Sharing The Road Not Taken

I kept thinking of this poem by Robert Frost tonight......I guess it was meant to share.

1. The Road Not Taken
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;        5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,        10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.        15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.        20

Sunday, August 5, 2012


"That's what alchemists do.  They show that, when we strive to become better than we are,everything around us becomes better."  - Paulo Coelho

That quote is from The Alchemist, one of my top five favorite books.  Each time I read it, I walk away with fresh and new insights.  I believe it is true, that when we strive to become better than we are, everything becomes better......and when we settle for mediocre, all around us becomes mediocre.

Think about the people that you enjoy most spending time with, I'd bet there is something about them that encourages you to do/be better.  Alchemy is such a quaint term, magical, captivating........just the mere thought that you can take a chunk of lead and change it to gold.  That is what happens when we strive to become better, all around us, the lead magically turns to gold.

We are all alchemists, possessing the magical powers of turning hate to love, healing the broken and  hopelessness to hope.  May the magic begin.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Without Your Consent

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."  - Eleanor Roosevelt

How many of us, daily allow others to make us feel inferior?  We all have those moments when we give someone permission to make us feel small and invisible, but some spend their lifetimes allowing others  to make them feel inferior.

Many times during my life, especially my earlier years, I allowed others to cheapen my worth, to take away from my value of who I am and what I do.  I think with age, and honestly as my yoga practice deepened,  I grew bolder and much more protective of myself.

I have friends who struggle with this, I think it is the desire to be loved, to be wanted, to be we stand there and smile,  or walk away in tears, or swallow hard, while we allow others to shadow our value and self-worth.

Many of you who read this blog, know how much my music means to me, but it took me a long time to appreciate the uniqueness of my voice.  I have always loved to sing, it gives me incredible joy, but I also knew that my voice was different and did not always fit the mold of what some considered a beautiful voice.
When someone would compare my voice to someone who had a more traditional voice, there were times I allowed myself to doubt my voice, to doubt the value of it.......but somewhere, somehow, I learned the lesson and now I appreciate the uniqueness.  I know there are those who are much better, more polished, and have more range, but I can't imagine anyone of them loving to sing more than I do.

Just remember we can't control people, or situations, but we can control how we react......and no one can make us feel small or unimportant unless we let them.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Simple Meditation

I taught meditation classes today.  I look at my students and their stress and anxiety scares me.  They are at such a major crossroads in their lives, so much hangs in the balance with their choices and decisions.  Many of them have done yoga before, few have actually meditated.  It's often hard for them to understand that alcohol and drugs do not relax.

One gentleman that I worked with today, after fifteen minutes of meditation looked at me with amazement in his eyes.  He thought we had meditated for five minutes.......he was so calm and relaxed, he looked ten years younger.  A young man had tears in his eyes after our session, stillness and peace had opened the floodgates and his heart.

I think if more of us meditated, so much of this having to be right, so much of this animosity toward those who are different,  would fall by the wayside.  We live our lives outward, but the love,the peace and stillness we all want and seek is inward.  We look at the outside world to fulfill our wants, we expect the outside world to bring instant happiness, we need for the outside world to approve us, to validate us.  But the outside world is just an experience, a series of choices and paths.........who we are, and all that we seek is inward.  I do believe we are spiritual beings having a human experience.

So, the most simple meditation I can teach you.........sit, and breathe.  Sit comfortably, and take all your awareness to your breath, when the thoughts flood your mind, take the awareness back to your breath.  Feel your breath, listen to your breath, just breathe........start with five minutes, see if you can work up to fifteen.
Those around you will notice a difference, you will notice a difference.........I've told you are worth it.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

The Sea

I really don't know why it is that all of us are so committed to the sea, except I think it is because in addition to the fact that the sea changes and the light changes, and ships change, it is because we all came from the sea. And it is 
an interesting biological fact that all of us have, in our veins the exact same percentage of salt in our blood that exists in the ocean, and, therefore, we have salt in our blood, in our sweat, in our tears. We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch it we are going back from whence we came” ― John F. Kennedy

Every time I feel a longing to see the sea, I think of this quote.  I am not a "beach" girl, but I am a rocky coast, kinda of girl.  I loved the sea coast of Ireland because of it's rugged strong beauty.  The East coast and the North West coast of the US has that same appeal for me.  The raw primitive strength of cliffs, mountains and giant rocks with the waves crashing wildly makes me feel at home.  The sea spray and the wind make me feel alive.

Tonight I long for the sea, the wind and the saltiness stinging my face and eyes.  The salt air filling my lungs and the cold waves splashing on my toes.  I feel the need to sit and look at the vastness of the ocean, to be reminded of my smallness and the connection that we have to the sea.  I envy those of you are there tonight.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Good News/Bad News

A good news/bad news kind of a day.......but then again, most of them are, aren't they?  The good news, the treatments are working......the bad, six more months of treatments......but, it could always be worse, much worse.
It is nice to know that my immune system has found its way home and with much prodding from said treatments has  decided to do what it does best, let those antibodies multiply!
I will continue to deal with a chronic disease, and understand that antibiotics are my best friends for life, but this good news rocked my world today.  I did a happy dance!
So, thanks for all your incredible love, healing energy and prayers, I appreciate them so much.
And as I have these past six months, there will be an update from the big green chair for the next six months.
Who knows when this is all over, I may ask to bring it home with me! (for a bonfire)