Friday, September 30, 2011

Run Your Race

Running your race.......I watched the movie Secretariat tonight.....great movie, but an amazing story and incredible animal.  Big Red, or Secretariat as he was formally called, loved to run, he was born to run.
As I watched the movie tonight, the phrase "run your race" was used several times.  I kept thinking about that YOUR race.  It's the only one you can run you know......sometimes it takes speed, some times
it's distance......but you have to run, no one can do it for you.

You can't rely on some one else to run for you or even carry you,  it's your race, you have to run it.  The woman who owned Secretariat was ridiculed because she believed, she knew in her heart he was a champion......and she didn't back down.  That's life, and we have to do the same thing, if we believe in our hearts, if we know.....then we have to run our race, no matter the ridicule, the skeptics.  There may be times when we allow
the naysayers to taunt, to make us doubt, but it's our race not theirs.

A run for the roses is different for each of us........and we can never let someone take it from us.  We may not even get the roses in this lifetime......but, if we run our race, I think we will leave this world with a smile.
A friend and I were talking a few days ago, she and I have been running our race for quite some time. Honestly, I have never known anyone who has ran as hard as she has, I know what her roses are, and I know that she is so close, she can almost smell them.  I hope sometime soon, roses rain down on her like the autumn leaves in October.

Running your race, some of us change horses in mid-stream......that's pretty difficult, but some are up for the challenge......and others, well life happens and you continue to run or just throw in the towel......your choice.
Run your race, three words.......profound advice.

If you get the chance, watch Secretariat.  I know you know the ending, but the story is so well told.....and well, if you are getting a little tired in your race or thinking about giving up.......maybe Big Red will inspire you to.......Run Your Race.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Proof of Fall

I know fall has truly the leaves are not at their peak color and the temps are still fairly warm, 86 degrees today.  What tells me that fall is officially here.....spider webs!  When I drove to work yesterday morning in the fog, there were spider webs as big as my car hanging from tree limbs on the side of the road.
This morning as we walked, spider webs covered the trails.  Silken threads seem to hang in mid-air with all sizes of spiders scurrying about.

Now snakes don't spook me, and I can handle mice......but throw a spider's web in my face or hair, and you will hear some colorful language and see some original dance moves.  I once saw a spider the size of a tennis ball hop across the room,  and didn't see its destination......Rick was working night shift, so I had to create a fast battle plan.   Basically,  I cranked the stereo up so that the windows were shaking, ran the vacuum cleaner at full speed,  and sprayed hair spray in every corner......I know at the time, it all seemed so reasonable, but now....well I never did see that spider again, so maybe my plan worked.

The webs are beautiful, really incredible pieces of architecture and art.  I know that there are those who love spiders, who study them and appreciate them.......I know they have a place in the circle of life......I just don't want them in my circle.

Even as I type this blog tonight, I can almost feel the silken sticky strands of web that caught my hair and face a couple of days ago as we walked......and yes I did my infamous string of profanity and created several new
complicated dance moves.  Every morning as I open the doors to the back deck, I look before I walk out.
I can't tell you how many times HUGE spiders have built their webs in front of those doors just waiting for me to walk out......I can almost hear their little spider laughs when their webs stick to my face.

I don't destroy them, but I do carry a stick with me so that I can gently reroute their structures, proving that we can all live in peace with a little effort.
Good night, Sweet dreams.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011


Some days are tests, given by a universe that is secretly laughing and wondering what your response will be.
My day of tests has been strange, not a bad day, but a trying one.  Everywhere I have been, pretty much every one I have talked with, had contact with, has been in the mood to vent.  Most days I am a sounding board, a listening device, but today all those opinions and protests and complaints  have swirled around me like falling many, so fast......I could not comprehend......I  am quite dizzy.  Even the dogs are antsy and grumpy tonight.

Why do I think this day has been one of  tests?  Because, if I had opened my mouth and spoken any  thoughts, ......I would have been sucked into the vortex, it was  time to  listen and say nothing........listen and breathe.  I am exhausted tonight from so much negative energy circling around me.....this was the day the memo went out to voice your complaints......and  I am glad I did not get the memo.

So, I did a lot of breath work, taught my classes with great joy and love, ignored the comments that  I saw and heard through out the day and reminded myself that every one has a bad day, everyone is entitled to their opinions......and I must be the wacky one, because  I still see the good all around me.  So what is the good that I see all around me?  There is kindness, human dignity, and love, even in the places where it seems none might exist.  There is beauty in the raw and the ugly and the sad if you look for it.  And if we allow ourselves,
hope lives in the darkest of hearts, it just takes a tiny crack for the light to feed it.  As far as the greed and the hate and the fear that most seem to think has encompassed the universe....I believe we find what we look for, we get what we think about it.

Who knows whether I passed my tests today or not,  only time will tell.  But some days the buck has to stop here, the gossip, the rumors, the whine, the has to stop somewhere,might as well be here.
I sit here and breathe, and release.......
Good night, Sweet dreams

Tuesday, September 27, 2011


Last night as we drove home from my community yoga class, the fog rolled in.  It had rained a good part of the day, and the temperature dropped.  Fog is such a mystical thing.   We live near the Mulberry  river, on the plateau of one of the Appalachian foothills.....we experience our fair share of  fog.  I love fog.  I love how it shrouds the surroundings in ghostly, ethereal wisps, making the most mundane seem other worldly.

Sometimes in the winter, we have fog that turns to ice, so everything becomes coated in an icy mist.  Quite an experience to see frozen fog.   The closer we got to home last night, the thicker the fog became.....but there were places where it disappeared completely, only to go around a curve and suddenly be immersed in thick heavy fog again.
Fog seems to connect and disconnect,  the connection of the blanket of wet, cold cloud hanging on everything, but the disconnection of not being able to see ten feet in front of you.

I love the morning after fog too, this morning as we  walked through the woods with the dogs, it seemed to be a slow drizzle of rain dripping through the trees, it was just the aftermath of last night's fog refusing to go away.
Several of our friends who lived on the Sipsey River talked about an eerie green fog that rose from the river just before the F4 tornado hit on April 27th.  They all said they had never seen fog like that.  Maybe it was Mother Nature's way of warning of the doom that was coming.

I have walked city streets in the fog, and hiked through the woods in the fog,.....fog changes your perception.
It muffles noise,  and can be comforting and frightening, you feel protected, yet vulnerable and driving in fog can be quite unnerving.  I think that sometimes fog can even be quite romantic.

All is clear tonight, the fog rolled away around noon today, replaced by blue skies and fluffy clouds and a cool
autumn wind.  It was nice to see the sunshine too.
Good night, Sweet dreams.

Monday, September 26, 2011

We Are So Much More

Searching for who we are.......I will be the first to admit, I struggle with thinking of my self only in terms of what I do.  It is very easy to see our worth only in what we do, after all when we meet someone new, one of the first things most of us ask, "what do you do?"  In the words of one of my friends, "my validation comes from work".
We are not what we do......we are not what we do......we are not what we do.

Begin by letting go of all labels.  Just for a little while, no longer think of yourself as male, female....old, young,
husband, wife....son,,, dad.......then begin to let go of those titles we cling to so passionately......teacher, manager, dancer, singer, artist, soldier, plumber, doctor, lawyer.......breathe a nice deep breath, and continue to let go of labels until there is nothing  left but you.  You, the essence of all that is good, loving and kind, spirit in a human form, created in the creator's imagine, connected by oneness by breath to all living things.  You don't have to do anything.......just be....and know that by just being, you are a miracle.

We are so driven, by those labels......and once we label, then we have to be the very best of what ever label we are wearing at that moment.   I will admit that there have been times in my life when I was so consumed by
my label of what I did, so pushed to be the best, so concerned about validation........that body and soul suffered horribly.  I think it is a very human thing to be that way, but I also think to grow and learn and experience life in its fullest......there are times we have to just be,we have to realize, we are not what we do.
Every once in awhile, strip off the labels, be brave and let them go.

We are not what we do.......we are not what we do........we are not what we do........
We are so much more.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Words to Ponder

Some nights it is difficult to write, not because I can't think of anything to write, but because Blackie Bear, Astro and Buddy and Cailou are all begging for my attention.  Blackie commands the spot closest to my chair, Astro sits behind me, Buddy to Blackie's left and Cailou blocks the doorway.  Petting is required, usually a few words need to be spoken and Blackie is always up for a hug or two.   It's ok, losing your train of thought because dogs need attention is no big deal, hugs are nice no matter who the hugger/huggie is.

They are also a little anxious, there are storms approaching from the west, this is the start of our second tornado season ( yes, we have two, though usually the fall/winter storms are not as severe as those in the spring).  To be honest I am a little anxious too, already checking to make sure the weather radio is on.  The good news on the weather front, after the storms pass through this week, cooler air will be here for the weekend.

It has been a hectic week/ down time at all.  It is rough to start the new week tired, but that is how it goes sometimes.  I just have to put my big girl panties on and stop the whine!

I wanted to leave you all with a quote from my Wayne Dyer app on my I-phone.......
Knowing ignorance is strength. Ignoring knowledge is sickness.
Powerful words to ponder.........
good night, sweet dreams

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Good Things

"The only way you may correct the bad things in your past is to add better things to your future." -Shiloh Morrison

At work, I hear a lot of sad stories, horrible heart breaking true stories......but the interesting thing for me is how these stories are told.  Some are of them are told as a cleansing process, get them out, and move on if you will....some are told out of guilt and shame.....but some are told to perfection, you see the person  telling the story has told it so many times, it has become a part of them that they wear with honor and pride.

It is hard to let go of the bad stuff, but holding on to it, reliving it every day, letting it become who we are crowds out any good that can come to us.  Bad things happen to everyone, life is full of ups and downs and tragedies that can overwhelm even the most optimistic Polly Anna.  But, to move on, to live again we have to allow the better things to come to us.  It is, like attracts like.

I have friends that seem to always be struggling, with problems and sadness, and drama.  But when I talk with them about finding a purpose, a reason to get up every day, they shake their head and look at me as if I  drank all the kool aide.  Someone asked this week, how do I go on,, what gives me my drive........I believe with all my heart it is  purpose and the willingness to allow good and  better things to come to me.  I think finding people to help, ( writing a check is good) but rolling up your sleeves and really helping out, gives that sense of purpose.  It doesn't have to be big stuff, take a meal to a friend who is sick, donate a few hours at a shelter or school or hospital.  Giving of yourself and your time is an incredible gift, it brings the better things to you, and helps you to correct or let go of the bad in your past.

If the bad seems to be overtaking you, allow the good to come in......start small.....a smile, a gesture of kindness, it snowballs I promise.  If your past haunts you, remind yourself it is just a memory , that all that is real is now.  Twelve Step teaches one day at a time, some days it is just one breath at a time.  Better things await you, are you willing to let them come into your life?

Wishing you good and better things tonight, wishing you sweet dreams.

Friday, September 23, 2011

The First Day of Fall

Honeysuckle's last hurrah......this is the tame honeysuckle that we planted at the arbor that leads to our front door.  My friend, Joyce who owns the nursery where I got it, said that next spring this honeysuckle and the jasmine we had already planted would cover the arbor.......aren't the blooms beautiful?

For years, I have dreamed of an arbor leading to the front door covered with jasmine and honeysuckle.....a place where hummingbirds would hover and sip nectar all day and you could smell the sweetness of the blossoms as you entered the front door.  The jasmine is no longer blooming but the honeysuckle seems to be defying the changing of the season... she doesn't seem to care that today is the first day of fall.  Her blooms are lush and prolific.

The first day of doesn't seem real, how can it be......fall already?  But I am ready for it.  Spring was not a pretty one, but one of violence and destruction with the April 27th tornadoes, and after the storms, came relentless heat.  I hope our fall is one of color and beauty with brisk  mornings and cool days.  The colors do seem to be more vivid already, maybe Mother Nature is making up for her extremes the past few months.

The first day of fall.......I love the changing of the seasons, and fall is my favorite.  It brings a break from the heat and humidity of summer and teases the senses with the vividness of reds, oranges, the smell of burning leaves, and the iciness of the first frost.  True, the  days are shorter , but the night sky is rich with the sparkle of the stars and the moon is bigger and brighter, the sun sets are more ablaze, and the blue of the day sky is  more intense and clear.

The first day of fall.....soon we'll feel the  warmth of sweaters, the coziness of boots, and the texture of a soft scarf wrapped around our neck.  Crisp red apples, just waiting for the first bite, nuts to be cracked, home made bread to be baked, and rich soups and stews to savored.

The first day of fall.....a promise of change, a time for the earth to began her rest, and the opportunity for all of us to take advantage of the shorter days and maybe just slow down for a little while.......
Good night, Sweet dreams


Performing is different each time, because the venue and the audience are different.....but I have to confess I do have my favorite places to play......tonight was one of those venues.....Danielday Gallery.  It is an art gallery in Birmingham, that happens to have a couple of stages......and they love music as well as art, yoga, and a good time!

We did a couple of our new songs tonight, that we are working on for the cd.  They were well received, so that is good.  So much fun, we shared the stage with a couple of other songwriters, and it is an interesting chemistry that takes place.  We are all different as artists, as singers and as songwriters, but together on stage, we mesh....there is magic.

It is late, and I am tired.......a two hour show takes a tremendous amount of energy.
Good night, sweet dreams

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

A Good Hair Day

Haircuts can some times be rites of passage.......especially for women.  After a summer of illness, I looked at myself in the mirror this past weekend and thought change, you need a change.  My hair had grown a lot during the summer months, and I just had not taken the time for a cut......actually, I had not felt like going in for a cut.

Now I have great hair, thick coarse with lots of body, hair that will curl or straighten.......I know, I am lucky.
But, I had felt kinda frumpy the past few weeks, so I started to look at hair styles.  I had seen a photograph of Patti Hansen (Keith Richard's wife) and she had this killer shaggy hair cut.......guess, so do I.

What is it about women's hair that makes us get crazy?  Do men get depressed with bad hair days?
(no, they do as Rick and just put the clippers to their head)  A woman can get out of bed in a great mood, and take one look at her hair and think the world is ending.  Bad hair can trash a woman's day almost as fast  as a five pound weight gain.

So, Donna my stylist ( who is the goddess of all those with hair cutting shears) worked her magic.  I showed her the photo of Patti Hansen, she agreed that the style would work with my hair and face.....and voila!  
I have sexy, rock and roll hair!  I don't look like Patti, but I do have a great hair cut.

I know this all may seem like fluff, but sometimes you have to lighten up.  And after being sick for months, and barely recognizing myself at times in the mirror........a new hair cut is good medicine.  Tomorrow night we are playing at a songwriter gig at the Danielday Art Gallery, when I'm all dolled up......I'll get someone to shoot a photo and post it tomorrow night.

Something interesting today, in the words of Donna (my stylist) "I cut enough hair off your head for three haircuts".....out of the dozens who saw me at work today, only two acknowledged there was something different about my hair.  Makes you wonder why we get so bent out of shape about our hair! Ha,ha!
May you all have a good hair day tomorrow.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011


"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not hanging around with ass holes."  - William Gibson

Thanks to my friend Jennifer for reminding me of this quote today.  I read something years ago about love, that loving someone is  how that person makes you feel about yourself.  Why would  we spend time with people who tear us down or that we allow to make us feel unworthy?  Even the writing, Desiderata reminds us to avoid those who vex our spirits.

Sometimes they just can't be avoided, those who find joy in tearing us down.......maybe we work with them, sometimes we are related to them..... and sometimes, we think we deserve to have them in our lives.  Life is complicated isn't it?  And often, we complicate things ourselves.......have you ever met someone and the instant you met them, there was that weird little alarm that went off......but you ignored all warnings and let that person in your life.   Remember, your heart does not give bad advice.....neither does your gut.

Some of us want to save them, some of us just like the drama and the pain, some of us have a god complex and think we can change them, and some of us sink in the mire before we realize what has happened.
Most of my life, even as a child, I have trusted my instincts......  I can count on one hand, the times that I did not listen to my gut and heart, and ended up with someone in my life who did not have my best interest at heart.  Thankfully,( as my mom use to say) when I woke up and faced reality......there was a way to walk away from those spirit vexers!

So, even though there may be those in your life that are ass holes  and for whatever reason, they are going to be there for a while........spend as much time as you can with those who think you are wonderful.  Remember
"we get what we think about, whether we want it or not" - Wayne Dyer........ and if you spend all your time with those who vex your spirit, you will attract more and more of them.  Spend your time with those who make you feel loved, who appreciate your talents, who see the beauty of your soul, the kindness of your nature, who believe you will achieve matter what you do.

Know that just being human, makes you worthy of all things good and kind.
Good night, Sweet dreams

Monday, September 19, 2011

Yoga First

Well, when I was teaching my yoga class tonight,  I experienced a first........the class had gone great, and everyone
was lying on their mats, getting ready for savasana(relaxation).  A couple of students wanted chairs to put their feet up, and I stood up to get chairs for them......HOLY MOLEY.......the room started to spin, my legs went
wonky and I fell!  Scared the students, ( ha, now try to relax) and gave Rick the opportunity to make a joke about me having a margarita before class( no, I did not).

So embarrassing, yoga teacher crashes to the floor.......lesson learned if you get up fast and the room spins,
stand still until spinning stops......move slow!  So not only is my pride bruised, but so is my rear.
I have had some problems with dizziness since all the infections I had this summer, so now with ego shattered,
and thankfully hip was not, will listen to my body.  I had also taught three classes back to back with no food since around noon today.  Ok, so teacher has learned several lessons today.

Of all nights I had a new student, but thankfully we laughed about it, and I hope she comes back.  It is true when I tell my students every class I teach is different!

Time to take my bruised body and ego to bed.....tomorrow is another day.
Good night, Sweet dreams.

Sunday, September 18, 2011


I had the honor and pleasure of making our friends, Steve and Judy their very first smores tonight.  They are so good!  Actually, I have made a lot of people their very first smore.  My niece Samantha brought her volley ball team to our house last year for a cook- out.....none of them had ever cooked a hot dog over an open fire or had smores!  Those girls could put away the dogs and the smores.

So, you may be asking what are smores?  You toast a marshmallow over an open flame, place a piece of chocolate on a graham cracker, add the hot marshmallow and top with another graham cracker, squish it together and enjoy!  They are so yummy!

I read somewhere that they are called smores because , once you eat want some more!
It is very hard to stop at one, but that is what I did tonight.....what willpower that took.  I have finally lost most of the weight gain from all the steroids, just about five pounds left, so I have to be tough.

If you have never had a smore, or maybe it has been a long time, it is the perfect fall desert.  If you can't build a bonfire, fire up the grill, and after the steaks are done.........make the smores.  That combination of sticky warm marshmallow, warm chocolate and crunchy  graham cracker........I think is perfection.  Wow, I would love another........but not tonight.......maybe tomorrow.  And you may ask when did I have my first smore?
I went to a couple of Girl Scout meetings with my friend Debbie when we were kids, at the first one we had cookies and kool aide, but at the second one........yep, smores!

Good night, Sweet dreams

Saturday, September 17, 2011

A Friend Filled Day

Today has been a good day.  It started with a call from a really special friend this know when you haven't heard someone's voice in a long time, how good it is to hear them....that is how my morning started.
Then we had a cleansing of sorts.......we still had trees  that had fallen during the April 27th tornadoes, and others that had fallen in storms since.  We had a huge bonfire, it is still burning, but it seemed as those trees and all that debris burned to ash, there was a clearing of energy all around us. It was as though a cloud lifted.

Then later today, we got a call about a booking at a new coffee house, so we have a another gig! Then this evening, another friend that I had not spoken with in along time called.  We talked for over an hour.
It is amazing how connecting with people you care about, can change your day!  I have had a smile on my face all day.

So tonight, I am about to watch one of my favorite PBS shows, The Vicar, drink some hot tea and go to bed with a happy heart.  Prayers of gratitude, and sweet dreams to you all.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Meditative Lessons

Today has been a day of going inward.  The fog that has hovered me  around for days has lifted, but my head is full of introspection, of whys, and hows.  My classes today were all about meditation, I taught for my benefit as much as anyone else's.  Some days, you have to take stock, a personal inventory of how, and why.......but to be successful at it, you have to be objective about it.  It is easy when you go inward, to began a downward spiral,and it turns into a how low can I go journey.

To be honest, I do not like to go inward.......if I am honest and faults and weaknesses flash like neon signs, and it is easy to then wallow in the mire.  But going inward can teach you great today,  I have struggled with a friendship for the past few weeks.......usually I read people really well, but this friend is at a difficult spot on life's path.....  they reach out, and when I hold out my hand......they back away.

I realized today, I have to step is true, I can't fix everything, I can't help everyone.......hard words to swallow.  I also realized today that I have to set some boundaries......the walls have to go up.  Watching someone you care for go down the slippery path is almost unbearable, but if you're not careful, they will take you with them.  Being there is one thing, being used is something totally different.

I know that we all come into each other's lives for reasons, paths cross, and lessons are taught.  With time,
maybe the answers will come....tonight I send my friend love and prayers, hoping that they will find the peace they search for.  During those meditations today, my lesson came to me.......all I can do is love and judgments, let go of the worry, and be there if needed.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Music is Good Medicine

Tonight we went to a new friend's house to spend some time with his friends playing music.  It is interesting what a common thread music will weave a friendship about as fast as one can be woven.
Some of the friends we had met at gigs, and others were first time......all were pickers, singers and songwriters.
Each person there had a unique voice, style, and take on crafting would be the same if you had a group of bakers  together.

Everyone brought food, we sat around in a circle and played music.  I have to admit, Rick and our friend Steve and I  have played together for years, so I suppose in a round about way, we cheated.....but we sounded real good!

It was a good night, and it was something I needed.......I think tonight helped to lift the fog I have been trapped in for the past several days.   Music, new people, good food, my spirit does feel better......we'll see what tomorrow brings.  But I think music is good medicine.

All the dogs are snoring,  they have their routine, and late nights are not part of it.  I think I should probably
head toward the bed too.......
I hope you all hear beautiful music soon!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Dogs and Thunderstorms

Coming home from work today, the sky had become overcast and grey, for the past forty-five minutes I have listened to the  rumble of thunder in the distance.  The weather guys say we have a severe thunderstorm coming at us, which means we have a cool front approaching........which means, cooler weather this weekend!
I hear my sweaters calling me.  Haha!

I groomed Blackie Bear, and Taylor before I left for work today........not an easy task.  Both weigh around 100 pounds each, Taylor is short haired, bulldog mix, but Blackie Bear is chow/lab mix(LOTS of hair)  They love to be groomed, you can hear their grunts of joy and delight every time they are brushed and cut.  Our dog Charlie who passed over the rainbow a few months ago, loved to be groomed too. Charlie liked it so much, that when you stopped, he would take his paw  and pet your hand trying to get you to continue.  I really miss Charlie.

With the rumbles of thunder, the dogs are getting into their storm mode......Astro is under Rick's desk,
Buddy and Blackie and Taylor have surrounded my chair here at my desk, and Collie( the neighbor's dog who will not go home) is trying to find his spot.  Not sure if I had told you all about Collie.......he is the most beautiful Collie you have ever seen.  Yes, he looks just like Lassie!  We have not named him, we are in a strange situation here.......he belongs to a neighbor about a quarter mile away.  He showed up several months ago, it took us quite a while to find his owner.  She came and got him......several times.....and he just keeps coming back.  He will not go home.  We have asked her about keeping him, but no response.  What to do, what to do?   Couldn't let him go without flea and heartworm meds, so we have given him those.
All our dogs are neutered, hoping she makes a decision soon, because if he stays with us.....snip, snip!  In the mean time, he gets groomed tomorrow.

The storm is getting closer, I just stepped outside and you can smell the rain.  I love that smell! and the way the air feels just before the storm.......damp and warm.

I can hear Buddy snore( he was my mom's little dog), Astro is getting restless under the desk(another lab mix)
and Collie found his place....blocking the door to the office.  Taylor and Blackie  are snoring too, I think their fear of the storm was way over rated.

I think my way of greeting the storm is the best.......a cup of hot tea (red zinger tonight) and a good read.....
and then a warm cozy bed.
Good night Sweet dreams

Tuesday, September 13, 2011


     For the  past several days I have been out of sync........just really out of sorts......not sick.....but kinda down,
kinda sad, just not me.  Maybe it's the moon, or my biorhythms or not enough chocolate!  I had planned on taking off work for a few days next week, but that is not in the stars.  I am in limbo........that place where you just exist for awhile....a funk if you will.

I know that this too shall pass, and it drives me crazy when I have to make myself want to do things.....Blackie Bear and Buddy have just decided to cheer me up, both wanted my attention at the same  time!  Those dogs, they know how to make me smile!  Right now I have the attention span of a gnat.......I have gotten up three or four times while writing this I have to focus now!  See what I mean.....has this ever happened to you?

So here's hoping the fog lifts soon, as for now.......I think it's time to say......
Good night, Sweet dreams

Monday, September 12, 2011

The Moon

Full moon tonight, big and silvery and bright.......shimmering and opalescent in the dark velvet sky. All my yoga classes, we did moon salutations......we greeted the moon!  When you're that beautiful, you should be greeted!
As many of you know, I love the full moon.....I feel a kindred spirit to that orb that shines in the darkness.
And I know, it has no light of its own, just the radiance of the sun playing on its surface.

I think we all are much like the sun and the moon,  we reflect each other's radiance, we reflect each other's fear, we reflect each other's anger, and we reflect each other's kindness.  We can shimmer and guide each other through the darkness or we can consider ourselves a pale imitation, throw our hands up and bemoan the darkness and criticize the brightness of others.  It's our choice.

I think the ones who came before us, understood and respected the sun and the moon.......they knew their value.  They knew without the sun, we would wither and die and without the moon, we would not understand beauty.  The ebb and flow of light and darkness, it is the yin and yang, the perfect balance.  The sunlight is strong, but the light of the  moon is soft.......and this time of year, as the harvest moon glows and appears so close to the earth, can't you feel its tug, its can you not look at its beauty and marvel?

May the same moon that is shinning down on me tonight, shine on you.......may it light your path, and reflect the beauty of your spirit, and may you dream the sweetest of dreams tonight.  For all of you tonight, I give you the moon.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Aunt Flo and Momma

My Aunt Flo called me today......she was married to my mom's younger brother and she was mom's traveling buddy.  They did bus trips together, and I bet they traveled a zillion miles together.  They went to the west coast several times, to Mexico three or four times, to Branson Mo seven times, and to the east coast three or four times, as well as Canada, Nova Scotia , Michigan and all points in between.  One Fourth of July they were in the Rockies and they called me because they had three inches of snow!  I have all my mom's photos from their trips, the pictures are awful, neither knew how to work the Kodak cameras they had, but they always had a good time.  My  mother would get the photos out, and tell me the stories behind each and every picture......but the pictures.....well there were  heads cut off, most were out of focus, or were so far away you could not tell who the people were.

Aunt Flo is now the age my mom was when she passed.  Each time I speak with her, she reminds me.......I am to sing at her funeral.  She talked to me today about all the good times she and my mom had together.
And she told me, she dreamed of my mother this week......they were making pies, well she said basically my mom was teaching her how to make pies and there were pies everywhere.

She asked me if I knew where and who she was with ten years ago today.......tears came to my eyes......I told her yes.....she was with my mom, and they were on one of their trips somewhere outside of Washington
DC.   I didn't know until that evening that they were ok.  And being the gritty old broads that they and all their friends were, not only did they go on to DC, but continued on to NYC.  Yep, you heard me, a bus full of over seventy year olds at the Pentagon and then at ground zero  at the Towers site.  They refused to let a hand full of terrorists keep them out of their favorite cities.  The bizarre thing about it all, no one stopped them, they drove by the Pentagon, and into the canyons where the Towers fell.

That trip, was the breaking point for my mom.......she was in early dementia, and the horrors that she saw, the sights, the smells, the people looking for their loved ones,  she was never the same.  I begged her to let me come and get her, but she stayed with her friends......she called me every night on that trip crying, her heart broken  by all that she saw, and the stories she heard.

Aunt Flo, said that trip was all she could think about this week.  How she and my mom clung to each other, the prayers they prayed.   Every person has a story about this day, where they were, how their lives changed....before 9/11 my mother had always talked about how Pearl Harbor had changed her life, but 9/11 changed her in ways she could not communicate.  She only took a couple of more trips after that, her traveling days were over.

I am ready for a cup of hot tea.
Good night, Sweet dreams.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Clear Blue Sky

Today was one of those rare perfect weather days in Alabama.......eighty degrees, and not a cloud in the sky.
The sky was so blue, there were moments I thought I might be in Sedona  or Telluride or maybe somewhere in Northern California.  Every time I looked at the sky, all I could do was say, wow!

It was one of those days when it just felt good to be alive.
I did nothing special......brought yoga mats home from work, and washed them, did laundry, just kicked back.
No gigs this weekend, and I missed that, but every once in awhile, you need to do nothing......just appreciate the blueness of the sky.

The dogs had a great day too, Blackie Bear looked  at me every once in awhile as if to say, gee thanks for the great weather, did you order this up just for me?  He is half chow and half lab, and all those hot summer days have made him miserable.

The photo is looking out our back door.  That is what I saw today, each time I walked out on the deck, it so reminded me of the skies in the old technicolor movies....but this was real, no enhancements.......just clear blue.

I earthed this morning,  I walked barefoot........there was heavy dew on the grass, and the red clay is still damp from all the rain earlier in the felt great!  Connecting with the earth, it is so simple, so easy.
Why do we have to make life so complicated?  Walking barefoot on wet grass, with a blue sky above, a tinge of color starting to show in the leaves.........a good day.  I hope yours was good too.
Good night, Sweet dreams.

Friday, September 9, 2011


Moments, we all have them......when in one split second, life could have taken a completely different turn.
A decision is made,  and life continues down the path you assume it should.  Probably you took the high road,  or maybe you ever wonder what if.......

You cannot dwell in the past, and you can't live your life thinking about what ifs........but there are those moments.......and what if the same opportunity showed its face again......same decision or a different one?

Moments, tiny fragments of time, that in the scheme of things have incredible power.....It's best not to over think them, or spend the rest of your life wondering what if, but sometimes..........

Moments, decisions made in the blink of an eye, the snap of a finger.......good or bad, right or wrong.......they were made.  Lives forever changed, or were they......did things just continue as always?

Living life in the present takes away the power of those past moments,  and does not acknowledge the future ones, but the ghosts of the past sometime beckon and the future ones often seem quite real.......and those moments when they happen.......well, we know......they don't last long.

Just food for thought tonight.
Good night, Sweet dreams.

Thursday, September 8, 2011


Quite often I talk to myself.......sometimes aloud, sometimes just in my thoughts.  Usually if it is in my thoughts I am not being very kind to myself, if aloud, normally I am trying to figure something out.
I talk to the dogs daily, and to various other creatures that I come in contact with.......I think I have done this since I was a child.  Then there are those days, I just the wind, the universe, to God to whoever/what ever I think/hope is listening.  Am I alone? Do others carry on these conversations too?

I think maybe I do this because most often others talk to me, I hear their stories, their concerns and fears, their hopes.....and honestly after someone pours their heart out, I sit and think.....well, they certainly don't want to hear my petty concerns.  And, maybe this blog is my release, my pouring out.

I think my purpose is to listen, to let others speak, to be there as a sounding board.  Not so much to give advice but just to listen and let them know, they are heard.  But then there are days like today, the sky was the most incredible shade of blue( like the skies out west), the air was so crisp and I felt better than I had in months( my energy is back) and I just would have loved to chat with someone!  I should have picked up the phone and called a friend, not sure why I didn't.....silly me.   But mid-day, Thursday, I suppose I thought everyone would be busy.   Maybe tomorrow.

The nights are cool now, and a cup of hot tea awaits me.
Good night, Sweet dreams

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


Shadow was shaggy white, big eyed puppy that Rick's grandmother gave to our niece, Samantha around sixteen years ago.......Shadow crossed over the rainbow today.  He followed Sam around like her......shadow, and as she grew up and her life became more and more complicated, Shadow became her dad's(my younger brother, Ricky)dog.

Shadow, like every other dog that has lived here on the farm, had a wild and wacky personality.  I bet we will find balls hidden for years, that he brought over from Ricky's house and hid down around the barn and out in the woods.  If there was a tennis ball, baseball, basketball or soccer ball that he could get his teeth into, it was his!
Also, cute stuffed animals were never safe around Shadow, he loved to fight with them.....and then they too were hidden around the farm.

When Jordan was born, Shadow loved him......he was like a built in babysitter......he would play ball with Jordan for hours, fetching every ball Jordan rolled, pushed and eventually threw at him.  But it was obvious this past year, Shadow was slowing down.....sometimes he would come to visit us and not remember how to get home.  Some days it seemed he came to visit, just to let me know he knew we loved him......he would come in and eat our dogs' food, drink their water, lie down for awhile and then bark to go home.

I know my brother Ricky's heart is breaking tonight.......Ricky has had some serious health problems the past few years, but it seemed Shadow was his protector, he stayed close to Ricky, always keeping a watchful eye on him when he was sick.

Samantha had called me yesterday and told me  she thought Shadow was dying, Rick and I went to check on him, and I knew he would not last long.......I lay down on the floor beside him, reminded him how much we loved him and how much we would miss him.  Even though he did not live with us, he was a part of us, and I will miss him.

Tonight, whisper a prayer for Ricky and Samantha, the loss of a beloved pet can hurt so much.....grief is grief, and pain is pain......and there is a big empty spot in their little home......where a white shaggy dog use to be.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Creativity and Talent

I talked to one of my classes today about creative energy, recognizing and using the gifts that you have.
Of course, someone said they had no gifts, no creativity.......I have heard that so many times.  We tend to have such a narrow focus on exactly what are gifts and what is creativity.  As we sat and talked, did some breath work and worked on yoga postures to balance our chakras, I asked them to rethink  their definition of creativity and gifts.

We talked about the obvious, you know, artistic talents, musical talents/gifts, .......but as they began to redefine their definitions..........
the lights went on in their eyes.   The ability to teach someone anything is a gift.....the ability to love and care,
to be a good friend, is a gift.  To be there when you are needed, to know the right words to say, the right thing to do, is a gift.  Creativity.....can  you balance a budget, cook a meal, make some one laugh, create a warm and welcome environment, we all have countless gifts and great creativity when we think outside the box.....when we allow ourselves to see the goodness within.  Some are blessed with the ability to listen, others
know exactly when their  presence is needed.....and some know when to pick up the phone and call or send a note.

Anytime you say you have no gifts or are selling yourself short and I think being unappreciative of what you have.  Denying the good within you, denying those gifts and creative energies is like telling the universe or God that you are damaged goods, a mistake was made in your creation.

Make a list of your talents and creative energies, no matter how small or unimportant you think they are......begin to understand that all things great and small are who you are.  Celebrate the unique, the quirky and the mundane, the ordinary and extraordinary and know someone, somewhere wishes they could do something that you do, that they are envious of a talent or gift you possess.

Good night, Sweet dreams

Monday, September 5, 2011

Grateful for Labor

twelve inches of rain and it is still coming was the perfect day to drink a cup of hot tea and read a good book, but that was not to be.  Spent most of the day on the road, in the rain......that is just how it goes sometimes.  But it does sound so good tonight on the tin roof!

Labor Day, I have thought about my dad, his dad and my brothers and uncles today.  I come from a blue collar dad's dad was a coal miner and union organizer, my dad was a coal miner and plumber, my brothers were/are welders, coal miners and plumbers and my uncles were coal miners.  My dad went to work in the coal mines when he was twelve years old for twenty-five cents  a day ( twelve hours a day).  When the war broke out, he joined the Air Force, became a medic and after the war, came back to Alabama  and the coal mines.  Not longer after, he was in a mining explosion and almost sixty percent of his body was burned.  That's when he became a plumber, but he ended up back in the mines in the seventies(only way to get retirement and health insurance) only a few years later to be diagnosed with black lung and heart disease.
He died in 1991, he could not beat those two diseases.

I think of him, going down into that dark dirty hole, of the coal dust that coated his lungs and choked him to death......I think of laborers all over this country, who have died from asbestos, white lung, black lung, from explosions , and all kinds of ungodly working conditions, including exposure to chemicals and lord knows what else.  Any time I hear people talk with disgust about the labor unions, it causes my heart to ache.......I know that the unions have become just like the politics in this country, full of greed and corruption, but I know that people like my father benefited from the good of the unions.........he had health insurance and a retirement
check.......because trust me, if it had been left up to the companies that owned the mines, miners would still be making twenty-five cents a day, and children would still be working in them.

I am proud to be the daughter and sister and grand daughter and niece of blue collar workers, people who worked long hard days, who risked their lives for their jobs, to put food on their tables and a roof over their families heads.  It seems that now, blue collar is such a dirty word, no one wants to work with their hands and every one wants a college degree.  I hear my brother and nephew talk about their work(they are plumbers) and they take such pride in doing a good job.......I think about Ray, our friend who has helped us all summer, rebuild the barn, our house, and the old farm house, he loves working with his hands and takes great pride in what he does......he is seventy years old and still going strong.

So tonight, I just want to say how much I appreciate those who labor and toil in this country, who work in the heat and the cold,  the rain and the snow, whose skin is weathered and worn, whose joints hurt with every movement, but they do the jobs that many of us would never do.  They build highways, and houses, and skyscrapers, bridges and oil rigs, they drive trucks, and farm, they plumb, and dig ditches, they build pipelines, they work the mines, and the fields, they build cars and trucks, and I am grateful on this Labor Day for their labor.

Good night, Sweet dreams.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Portals of Discovery

"Mistakes are the portals of discovery." - James Joyce

Sometimes I think that I have made more mistakes than anyone I know.  Sometimes they are blatant, you know the kind that just kick you in the face and some are more subtle, they surprise you  when you have forgotten all about them.  But the truth is, if we let them........those mistakes, big or small can take us down incredible paths.
They really can be "portals of discovery" to ourselves and our needs and wants.

One thing I have learned that I think is important......mistakes do not mean failures.  Often I think we allow our mistakes to live in our heads as failures, do you honestly know anyone who has never made a mistake?  Just as my mom and dad taught me many years ago, we have to learn from our mistakes, not dwell on them, forgive and forget......and get on with your life.

When I make a mistake, I tend to beat myself you?  The past few years have been such a learning
time for me, patience and letting go  are the biggies that keep showing up in my "portals of discovery".  This too shall pass, are words I repeat to myself quite I take deep slow breaths.

You think of the word mistake, and often you think disappointment.......but learning to let go of disappointment is a valuable lesson.......when we let of go the disappointment, we open ourselves to new and better things.....there is truth in the saying...."when one door closes, another one opens".

I love those words, "portals of discovery" ......they turn those feelings of inadequacy and self-loathing that we have when we make a mistake, into a sense of adventure, an optimistic and hopeful journey to something better.

So the next time a mistake is looming over you, and you have beaten yourself into an unrecognizable shadow of you who you once were........look for the "portal of discovery"'s there if you allow yourself to see it.
Give yourself permission to let go, forgive and  forget..........and allow something better to come your way.
Don't forget......."portals of discovery."

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Saturday Night Musings

It has been a hot dry few weeks.......this week around 100 every day.....but it is hurricane season and according to our weather folks, rain is on its way.   Seems a tropical depression is moving toward us, bringing LOTS of rain, somewhere in the neighborhood of six to eight inches.  The next few days should be interesting.
There are rumors of temperatures in the sixties by midweek, can you see me do the happy dance????

Fall is my favorite season and as soon as September shows on the calendar I expect cooler temperatures, what can I say.......those are my expectations!  As we drove back from Montgomery today( which is a couple of hours south of us)  I noticed the closer we got to home  the colors  were truly changing.
There are tinges of gold and red everywhere you look and the mornings even when it is in the 70's feel different.

I got a new plant to go with the jasmine on the arbor, a pink tame honeysuckle, my friend at the nursery says
the mix of jasmine and honeysuckle will be amazing next spring.  I am also about to rework my old fashioned
flower bed out back, one of my friends is saving his beer bottles for me, I am going to bury them neck first and make an edging( I saw it in a gardening book) and then add a bottle tree.   Will take photos when it is completed. In my head it will look wonderful, we shall see.

We have friends visiting from LA ( that is lower Alabama) Wes  is playing guitar as I write this blog.
We have not visited in quite a while, and it has been a great  night filled with good food, , lots of laughter and music.  Time to get back to my friends.
Good night Sweet dreams.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Alternative Healing

I had forgotten how good acupuncture makes you feel.......I have seen the acupuncturist/chiropractor twice this week.   After all those meds, all those steroids( and the moon face and the ten pounds they gave me) the respiratory stuff was still with me......and I just refused to take any more meds right now, I don't think my spirit could take it, or my body the side affects.  So, I did what I should have done weeks ago, followed my instinct and added an alternative approach as well.

I am breathing better, feel better and hopefully will look better when I knock off the moon/weight.  The gunk is leaving my chest and sinus and I am sleeping.  The energy I have now is real, and not artificial.......a big difference I can promise you.  I know the meds have saved my life more than once, but I also know that alternative methods of healing work.  I mean after all, people got sick before there was Doc in the Box and a drug store on every corner......and a lot of the old folk remedies inspired modern medicine.

I am sharing my thoughts with you tonight, I know these methods may not be for every sister and brother think I drank the kool-aide.......I probably did......but I have also seen the ravages of prescription meds at their worst.  I know it is not a pretty sight, me sitting there with needles in strange places, but I swear
I close my eyes and do slow breathing........and every ounce of stress in my body just leaves and I almost fall asleep......the adjustments do pretty much the same thing......I leave her office and I just want to come home and NAP!!!!!!!!  But then, by mid afternoon when it is time to teach, my energy soars.  It has been a great combination.

I will keep you posted on my alternative healing journey, I am still earthing too.  As I have talked before,
sometimes the path takes you a different way, and I like to think that I live my life like water......I flow.
Good night, Sweet dreams

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Art Night

Short post tonight, just got home, we played Art Night in Northport.....all the local galleries change their exhibits on the first of the month, and they have music, and all kinds of good stuff going on!  We played at Mary's Cakes and Pastries, incredible made from scratch cakes and breads!  Lots of folks dropping by to listen, and much fun!
We played outside, it was still in the 90's and I am very tired! Two hours in the heat is rough......but I'd do it all over again!  Once again, my friend Jackie took the photo, she's becoming a "super fan".....thanks Jackie!
I am still in a sugar buzz, I had chocolate/coconut cake, and lemon cake.........I may never wake up tomorrow.

Good night, Sweet dreams.