Tuesday, September 20, 2011


"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not hanging around with ass holes."  - William Gibson

Thanks to my friend Jennifer for reminding me of this quote today.  I read something years ago about love, that loving someone is  how that person makes you feel about yourself.  Why would  we spend time with people who tear us down or that we allow to make us feel unworthy?  Even the writing, Desiderata reminds us to avoid those who vex our spirits.

Sometimes they just can't be avoided, those who find joy in tearing us down.......maybe we work with them, sometimes we are related to them..... and sometimes, we think we deserve to have them in our lives.  Life is complicated isn't it?  And often, we complicate things ourselves.......have you ever met someone and the instant you met them, there was that weird little alarm that went off......but you ignored all warnings and let that person in your life.   Remember, your heart does not give bad advice.....neither does your gut.

Some of us want to save them, some of us just like the drama and the pain, some of us have a god complex and think we can change them, and some of us sink in the mire before we realize what has happened.
Most of my life, even as a child, I have trusted my instincts......  I can count on one hand, the times that I did not listen to my gut and heart, and ended up with someone in my life who did not have my best interest at heart.  Thankfully,( as my mom use to say) when I woke up and faced reality......there was a way to walk away from those spirit vexers!

So, even though there may be those in your life that are ass holes  and for whatever reason, they are going to be there for a while........spend as much time as you can with those who think you are wonderful.  Remember
"we get what we think about, whether we want it or not" - Wayne Dyer........ and if you spend all your time with those who vex your spirit, you will attract more and more of them.  Spend your time with those who make you feel loved, who appreciate your talents, who see the beauty of your soul, the kindness of your nature, who believe you will achieve greatness.....no matter what you do.

Know that just being human, makes you worthy of all things good and kind.
Good night, Sweet dreams


  1. Took me a long time to figure that out in the men relationship thing. But I figured it out in time and found me one that builds me up constantly just by the little things he does. It was nice to finally come to my senses.

  2. I've always had a talent (I guess that's the word I'll use!) of being able to discern who's good or bad when first meeting someone. You're so right about listening to your inner "gut" feelings. Negative people can suck the very life out of you...

  3. And you also forget or maybe don't have experience liek that to avoid people on Internet who for some reason do not know any values but to be mean and nasty.Suppose sitting behind their monitors just waiting to spew hate...And yes because of everything you mentioned we should cherish the through friends:)

  4. Great post! I agree we should try to surround ourselves with people who love us and lift us up instead of tear us down.

  5. It's taken me decades to shed myself of all these people who upset me (the passive-aggressives are the WORST!!)even at the risk of alienating others. Life's too short to have my life destroyed slowly by these types of people! Unfortunately I'm surrounded by one or two here at work, but I try to keep things very professional with them and tell myself that after 5.30 pm they are out of my world!

    Take care

  6. This make so much sense. Some of us walked around growing up thinking we must have a sign on our forehead inviting the assholes into our lives. You just put some perspective into this whole thing for me. If all we are doing is hanging around people who are not good for us, we attract even more people not good for us. As a child my whole experience was living around people not good for me. So I did not have the power or the understanding to make the change. By the time I was a teenager all I was used to were the people who were not good for me. You speak such wisdom and I bet you don't even realize how deep your writing is.

  7. And some of us don't even notice it's happening because you still laugh and get along. But I am now aware I have to remove this A-Hole from my life sooner than December! Great post Jilda.

  8. I was just talking about this to my sister today.

    Sometimes for a good reason - you cant get out of the situation you're in - but you can chose to do certain things - think certain ways - to make it more bearable.

    Great post. sandie