No matter how dark, how murky the past, how scarred it has left you, how beaten you feel, when you allow it to be your identity.......that's the way others see you. Yes, at one time the past was reality, but once it becomes memories, it's time to realize it is no longer real.......just memories that you replay over and over in your head.......and there is nothing noble about letting your past victimize you.
I started down this path tonight because the past few days I have talked with several people whose inability to see them selves separate from their past is destroying their lives. They are latching on to their memories and past experiences and allowing those to shape an identity that the world will only see as negative and destructive.
Everyone has good and bad in their past, some more bad than good........but the more you dwell on the bad, the more that you replay and hold on to the bad memories, the more you victimize yourself, the more the world around you will too. The old saying,"misery loves company" is true,
you will just attract those who think and act like you and the downward spiral will continue
into the darkness......and then you will always wonder, why me?
Change is hard, changing how you see yourself, changing "truths" that you have believed all your life........is not only hard, but damn scary. But when you are trapped in the world of replay.....
when all you do, day after day is replay the sordid past.......you have to make the choice.......you have to change your language, your thoughts, the way you see yourself. Sadly, because it is so hard, I think many of us just stay in the spiral, becoming martyrs, sacrificing a life of joy......because it is easier to wear our sadness like a false badge of courage. A life of pity becomes saint-like, and pain becomes our medal of honor.
So if you are trapped in your past, take a look at the "truths" that you believe.......understand that there is choice in every one's life...... reexamine how you see yourself......is that really how you want the world to see you? A sad story told once brings sympathy, when it becomes a broken record, it's the scratching of nails on a blackboard.