Friday, April 30, 2010

What Do I Want

Do you ever ask yourself that question? What do I want? and if you ask, have you ever answered it? For the past several weeks, at least once a week, I write that question on a piece of paper, and then I write out my answers. It has been a revelation, because what I write that I want is not exactly what I am doing, well to be honest it is not even close. As a yoga teacher I am always teaching about how yoga brings balance to your life, but my life has become so one sided in the past several years that I realize there is not much balance at all in my life! I suppose that is how this blog really came to be, how the title, Transformation Information is really a wish hidden deep in my heart. That realization was the painful part, now the hard part is figuring out how to obtain what I want. As I allow myself to walk through this maze of self realization, and self discovery I will share my discoveries with you(well maybe not all of them). Hopefully my journey to what I want will help some of you to figure out what you want as well, and maybe give you insight on how to obtain what you want. I keep hoping this is a path of least resistance, but my heart tells me it is not. But, I also understand it is all about the journey, and not the destination, more to come in the following weeks.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Needing Transformation Myself

I taught six yoga classes back to back today. There is no energy left in my body, I feel the need for a hot cup of tea and my bed! The spirit is not willing and neither is the body, will talk with you all tomorrow. Sweet Dreams!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

travel ready

I rearranged my schedule at work today, got a hair cut/color and got travel ready! My name was misspelled on my birth certificate(just one little letter). Before 9-11 it was no big deal, but afterwards, it became a major deal! Because of that one little letter, I got tossed in LAX
terror tank a few years back. Rick thought it was really funny, but I can tell you, in a split second, you can lose all rights and suddenly there are visions of bread and water, and no sunshine for many years. So, I finally had the birth certificate corrected, driver's license, social security card and pass port all fixed!!!!!! I can now travel and hopefully not get tossed in some holding tank, while an armed guard yells obscenities at me.
Now, I have to convince Rick to travel. So where do I want to go?????? for starters, back to Ireland, San Francisco, Seattle, Chicago, Grand Canyon, NYC, Boston, then I want to go to some places I have never been, like Nova Scotia, Paris, Prague(for Christmas), Africa, Greece, the list
goes on and on! Now, I have to figure out how to pay for all this travel. But trust me, where there is a will, I can find the way!
I love to travel, I remember my first trip to NYC, everyone kept telling me how rude people
were, not to ask directions, don't ask for change, etc! Well, I did everything everyone told me not to do........I asked a vendor at a news stand for change, he smiled and told me that if I stood there and talked to him all day(its the southern accent) he'd give me his news stand, next I walked into the Chase Manhattan Bank and asked them to cash a check on my local Alabama
bank. The clerk made a call and the next thing I knew, I was on the top floor in the president's office having coffee, while he told me how much he loved Alabama football!
We were in Boston and didn't have change for the train, an older gentleman missed his train so I would not be alone while Rick went looking for change. In Ireland, these stories went on forever,
we were lost on our first day there, 3:00pm,. no lunch and jet lagged. We stopped at a gas station and asked directions, asked where we could get food, and the woman who owned the station went to her kitchen and made us sandwiches! I think travel, is just like life, if you expect the worst, that is what you get, but if you look for the good, treat folks with kindness, and not walk around like some arrogant tourist, you get the good stuff! Dr. Wayne Dyer says it best,
"you get what you think about whether you want it or not". Just like life, sometimes when you travel you get thrown a curve, but a smile, a deep breath and sometimes a tear and you are moving on down the road!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

brain is fried

I babysat Jordan today, our great nephew who is 2. Now I understand why old folks do not have children! He is a wonderful child, and we had a large time. He climbed his first tree, helped me
feed the chickens, feed the birds, feed the dogs, we planted flowers, and he learned to identify a pine tree, an oak tree and a poplar tree. We also played ball, played the piano, cleaned his room, read, drew pictures, went to McDonalds, went to the park..........he also learned to go in and out of our dog door. He does everything with wonder and amazement, with joy and determination. I kept looking at him thinking this is how every day should be, and adventure!!!!! It seems like yesterday when he was born, it also seems like yesterday when his mom, Samantha was only two and she was climbing the "magic tree" for the first time. One of my greatest fears is that when I leave this life, my family and friends forget their memories of me, I know he is only two and he may forget this day but I will remember it for a long long time.

Monday, April 26, 2010

the airplane rule

Most everyone I know( well at least in the boomer age bracket) is or has been a care giver.
We are caring for aging parents, sick parents, spouses, children and rearing grandchildren.
In some instances I have known friends who were doing all of the above at the same time.
And....... yes, we are still working jobs, trying to maintain relationships, and some shadow of a normal life.
So( and I feel I can speak freely here, because I too have been a caregiver and at that time
also home schooled a teenager) I tend to always mention the airplane rule. What is the airplane rule you may ask? Well, when you get on a plane and the flight attendant starts to talk about if the cabin loses pressure, those little plastic oxygen masks will fall from the put yours
on first!!!!!!! and what is the reasoning behind that thinking????? YOU CANNOT HELP SOME ONE ELSE UNTIL YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST!!!!!!!
and I know all the excuses, well I don't have time, I just can't , the list goes on and on.
For those of you who are out there caring for everyone else in the world and totally ignoring yourselves, STOP IT NOW! Give your self 15 minutes per day, read, drink a cup of tea and stare out the window, shower and leave the phone in the other room, paint your toenails,
call a friend, go out side and breathe. Learn to accept help, when someone offers to help, graciously accept it and say thank you that would be nice.
I know those days, when you wish with all your heart that someone would just take care of you for a moment, those days when if you could just have an hour with no one asking you to do something. When you didn't have to smell disinfectant, dirty diapers, or sick room odors,
the moments when you think you will not make it another day and you cry yourself to sleep.
When those you are caring for, tell you they hate you and you look in the mirror and don't recognize yourself. Remember the airplane rule, care for your self, good nutrition, a haircut
every once in awhile, some makeup, see your doc/dentist, a walk, some fresh air, water and don't forget to breathe! All of this shall pass, and one day, life will change, transformation will take place.

Sunday, April 25, 2010


I read an article recently about giving and sharing. I had not really thought about those two words in a long time and certainly not in the context they were written about. So, I began to think about the word give(giving). So often, I come home and say I am give out! Usually when I say that, it is because I have given emotionally and physically all day. But this article I read talked about how the word give can be so different than share. So I am trying to share more now, than give.
When I started to think about the word share, it made so much more sense than give. When we share, we do just that without thoughts of any thing in return. But many times when we use the word give, we think or expect to get something back. Being a singer/songwriter really brought
the message home to me in a different way. So many of my musician friends complain about not making any money playing music and that they are always being asked to do free gigs. But you know, I have never quit my day job so I guess I can be a little more free than some, but I have always thought of my music/talents as gifts. It has always been more important to me that I share my gifts than that I give them and expect something in return. Singing and writing and performing bring me such incredible joy that I would just about pay someone to let me sing.
Yes, it would be nice to and is nice to get money to sing, but you know, I just don't do it for the money. When someone comes up to me after they hear me sing and tell me how much they love the song or how much they love my voice, that is gold to me. I think it is a very sad world when talents such as music are not shared, but always expected to be exchanged for money.
I know some of you are probably saying not so nice things about me at this point, but this is my blog, and my way of sharing my thoughts! I think we have let our greed destroy friendships, relationships, and in many ways our world. Sharing a meal, sharing a song, sharing love, can bring incredible joy to our hearts, think about what you can share with someone.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

old friends

Rick and I attended the DHS Alumni Banquet tonight, and by the way, my husband was
honored with Alumnus of the Year award!!!!!! yes, I am proud of him! It was so good to see old friends and catch up on each other 's lives. It is amazing that you can see folks you haven't seen in years, and it is just as though you talked with them yesterday. Our high school is small, and some in our county seem to think we are on the wrong side of the river(sorta like wrong side of the tracks), but our folks are kind, good hearted, people. The kind who are just doing the best they can, dealing with life and death, joy and sadness and the kind if you ever needed help, they are there in a heartbeat! I looked around at those who attended tonight's banquet, and thought about many of the ups and downs that each of them has been through. They are the threads that weave such a strong part of the goodness of this country. They have strong faith, work hard, love their community, family and friends. Just every day people living ordinary lives that make this place such an extraordinary place to live! So tonight, where ever you live, show a little gratitude for your neighbor, for those who seem so ordinary, because believe me, if you take the time to know them, to learn a little about them, there is something special and unique about each one. Tonight, I am grateful for my old friends and I am grateful for my new friends who are
reading this blog.

Friday, April 23, 2010

atmosphere transformation

There is true transformation in our atmosphere is raining. A slow gentle rain started to fall about an hour ago, punctuated by soft booms of thunder. This is a welcome transformation tonight, hopefully by morning the thick, sticky yellow pollen will be washed away and we can all take a deep breath!
Of course, this is spring in Alabama and now there is talk of violent weather tomorrow, wind, hail and tornadoes. I am a weather geek, the Weather Channel is one of my favorites, I love to read about the weather, talk about the weather........because there is always change in the weather.
Well at least here in Alabama, there is always a change in the weather and many times it is bound to be extreme!
I love snow, I love the cold, and the weather we have had for the past few days has been magical, just like Northern California, warm sunny days and cool nights. But it was too good to last, there is that transformation thing again, change! I am not fond of the violence of spring storms, actually they make me quite fearful. A thunderstorm can be exciting, but horizontal rain, winds that make buildings explode, and hail the size of baseballs, that is just downright scary!
So tonight, I say a prayer of gratitude for the rain that is falling, I say another prayer that the energy vanishes from the approaching weather system and that all creatures great and small
remain safe.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

salt, more than seasoning!

So, here we are deep in the South, and pollen is the heaviest it has been in years! There is a yellow coating on cars, porches, driveways, it is every where!!!!! Driving into Birmingham, the city looks
as though it is shrouded in fog, nope it is POLLEN! Everyone you meet is coughing and sneezing,
they all have sinus headaches, what to do, what to do??????
Get thee a nettie pot, NOW!!!!! I am always being asked about nettie pots and I am here to tell you if you suffer from chronic sinus/allergy misery, a nettie pot could become your best friend.
I have had sinus problems since I was a child, I did allergy shots, which really did help. But, it
seemed in the spring there was still that pollen issue. I kept reading about nettie pots and I had friends who used them, so one day when Rick and I could not stand the sinus crud any longer
we bought nettie pots.
For Rick and I they work so well! This small tea pot looking contraption that you fill with salt water, you hang your head over the bathroom sink, and yep you guessed it, begin to pour the
salt water through one nostril. The first time, honestly, I freaked, pouring water in your nose
is not exactly pleasant, and what comes out, well it can be downright disgusting. But I hung in there, and my sinus infections become fewer and fewer. I sung its praises every time I saw
my pulmonary doc, because I think he was rather surprised at how clear my nasal passages were.
I became so enthralled with the healing properties of salt that I bought a Himalayan salt
inhaler, the theory behind it..........the folks who worked in salt mines rarely had any
sinus/asthma problems. I remembered all the times when I was a child that my mom had me
gargle with warm salt water for a sore throat. So now I use my salt inhaler and nettie pot along
with my daily meds that my doc has me on. So far, even with the thickest pollen I have ever
seen, my salt routine seems to be working for me.
I have been seeing articles in magazines lately about using salt water to flush out nostrils, maybe our mothers and grandmothers were right! of course I still have my doubts about Rick's mother's remedy for chicken pox........ letting a chicken fly over you!
You can buy nettie pots in the sinus section of almost any drug store, I hope this little bit of
info transforms your sinus crud.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

why transformation information?

Every day as a yoga teacher, I see transformation...... in first time students who walk through the door with that deer in the headlight look, and then at the end of class when the stress has left their faces, they are actually taking full breaths(not shallow attempts) and their eyes are full of hope.
The transformation...... most who come to yoga are looking, searching for......relief from pain, relief from stress, a moment of peace, the opportunity for their body to experience movement, balance, anything that takes them away from every day same old same old.
No matter how good our lives are, or how difficult they may be, we need transformation.....change
because without it, stagnation takes hold and though we may live a very long stagnant life, life leaves us before we ever die.
Transformation is hard, it is so easy to think we want the same life day after day, but that is not the way life was meant to be. We are born, we learn to smile, to coo, to crawl, to walk.
We grow, we question, we learn. We love, we cry, we face failure and success. Sooner or later,
we die. But in between it all, there is so much!!!!! People we meet, things we learn and places
we see.
So hopefully through the blog, transformation will be a little easier for all of us.......or maybe it is just the chance for me to let let go of my thoughts, my fears, my worries and share
what I learned or didn't learn with all of you.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Day One, First visit to blogworld

So, why am I writing a blog? Rick (my husband) has hounded me for months, who knows why I gave in today!!!!!!! Maybe my thoughts will somehow entertain or touch some of you.
I have a great life. I live on a small farm, am a singer/songwriter, yoga teacher at a drug/alcohol rehab center, am an artist and jewelry maker. Most days I am like so many of you, I try to do it all, and many times, just like you all I don't feel as if I have accomplished much of nothing.
But, there are those moments when the sun shines bright, and the stars twinkle in the sky and I think maybe, just maybe I am on the right path! I am not ancient but I am no chicken spring either. I will share my musings with you, I will be as honest as I know how, and maybe all of us together can transform and share..... more to come tomorrow.