This is the last week of September. This year is moving so fast it makes my head spin. This morning as we drank our coffee on the screen porch I experienced some moments of melancholy. Not that I am ungrateful, because I have so much to be grateful but scared that life is moving so fast I won't accomplish some of my dreams. I work very hard at keeping some sort of balance in my life.
But I do realize that in my job my role is giver. So I have to figure out ways to give back to myself so that I am not depleted. ( have been there and it is not a good place, you lose health, hope and joy)
Music gives to me. Sharing our music gives me incredible joy and personal satisfaction. It just gets harder and harder and to find places where we can play. I am not sure if our imagine is right, if our songs are not good, if our voices are weak. I am at a place where I find myself questioning.
The zen teacher in me tells me that all things come in due time. The human part of me knows how fast time is zooming by. I know this too shall pass, but it is making for some difficult days. Aging brings good things like more wisdom, deeper love and peace but it also stirs up the ashes of regret on some levels. Sorry, I think the loss of two good friends this summer and family members has made me a bit sad.
It has been a beautiful day. But it is hot. Like mid-July hot with high humidity. But I hear rumors of the jet stream changing by October 1 and more fall like temps arriving. We already have more fall color than we did all last fall. Last year's heat and drought left us with nothing but brown dried leaves dropping from the trees. We do have hard woods here so our late fall can be very pretty.
My favorite Britt shows come on Public TV tonight, so excited.
We do have a festival to play the first Friday in October so we are about to practice.
Good night, Sweet dreams
Give someone a hug tomorrow.
Saturday, September 23, 2017
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Hugs Jilda. As my year numbers rise I do look back, see if I could have done something differently, forgive myself (again) if I need to be forgiven and carry on with the place in time I now have. I won't say it is what I had planned or thought or wished for but it is what I have so most of the time I try to embrace the now. Not always easy.
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You are wise to replenish yourself. You would not be good to yourself or anyone else if you give and never receive.
ReplyDeleteWe go through life with expectations and sometimes we exceed it without realizing it because we always want more. The little devil on our shoulder wants us to always want more. He doesn't want us to be happy with what we got.
ReplyDeleteWe are spiritual being having human experiences.
St Augustine said that our hearts are restless until we rest in God.
Have a great Sunday
I'll send you a hug from Ohio and hope your week is good. I've heard your music and I think you guys are really good! As I age I too look back and have some regrets but moving forward is the only way to go isn't it. Losing good friends and family leaves it's scars and takes time to heal. Feel better soon.
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