2013

2013......tonight is goodbye to a year that has been difficult, sometimes sad, joyful, and has gone by so fast it takes my breath away.

2013......a year filled with truly wonderful musical gigs

2013.....a year with friends, old and new

2013.....a year to say goodbye to four of the best dogs ever, even now hard to face that that Blackie Bear, Astro, Taylor and Buddie crossed over the rainbow......RIP

2013....a year to face the facts, life sustaining treatments, always

2013......a year to see snowfall in October and watch Old Faithful as the snowflakes fell

2013......a year of loss, a beloved nephew John Michael you left us too soon, and Aunt Florence, I miss our talks

2013......a year to know that friends and family are there for you, no matter what

2013......a year to complete our cd and one with our friends

2013.....a year that after tonight, will be just memories, some good, some bad.......but this one fact I know.......I am loved.

Monday Night Thoughts

The flu is spreading like wildfire here, the flu and some sort of nasty respiratory infection......if it is in your neighborhood, please remember to wash your hands, avoid crowds......it's not too late to get your flu shot.....and if you develop symptoms please get to a doctor as soon as you can.

One more day in 2013, time to reflect, to think, to remember.......time to look ahead with hope.
The New Year comes with a New Moon, first time in 19 years.......a new moon means new beginnings....

Going to buy my black-eye peas tomorrow to cook on Wednesday......black eye peas and greens.....mean good luck and prosperity for the New Year.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams

League of Extra Ornery Singer/Songwriters

Here is a wonderful article about the "think tank" group of singer/songwriters we hang out with.


http://www.cullmantimes.com/features/x1186898801/All-star-band-releasing-CD-at-Berkeley-Bob-s/?state=taberU


We as a group have released a compilation CD, Saturday January 4, we will do a CD release concert at our favorite listening venue, Berkeley Bob's Coffee House, Cullman Al.
This group has become not only close friends, but writing and performing partners as well.
Our monthly meetings are wonderful times, a bringing together of creative energy and like spirits.
I am so proud to be a part of this group.

A Gathering

A small gathering of friends.......it took place this afternoon.... such a cold rainy wintry evening, but inside all was warm and loving and joyful.  My friend Kaye invited a few of us to spend the afternoon with her and Jamie.  It was my favorite type of visit, small and intimate, lively conversation, good food, surrounded by loving friends......this is good medicine, the kind that we all need.

Our friends, Jon and Diana went with us to Kaye's and Jamie's.......Jon and Diana are friends, writing and performing partners.......really and truly, family.  We all love movies, and our recommendations can be quite unique......this evening we discussed everything from Eraserhead  to The Decoy Bride.

We can never all spend time together  without discussing music as well,  today was a trip down memory lane, recalling concerts that we saw when we were  young and wacky.  As we sat there and talked about the New Year, what we wanted......what we visioned for ourselves in 2014, I thought, how lucky I am, to be in this room with these  incredible, bright, talented people who are also loving and caring.

I hope that your weekend has been what you needed.......whether it be rest, shelter, food, love or excitement......may your Sunday bring peace and all good things.

Mixed-up Schedule

Classes today, to make up for being off on Tuesday......it felt strange to teach on a Friday.
Not sure about all of you, but with holidays in the middle of the week.......I am all confused!
I thought yesterday was Monday, today felt like Tuesday......who knows what tomorrow will be.

At least next week, my schedule goes back to normal......Monday and Tuesday will be the last yoga classes I teach for 2013.......I know I blinked my eyes in 2012 and suddenly I am a few days away from 2014.

Time to start on 2014 Vision Board, have some thoughts, just need to put them down, find the pictures and phrases and make it happen.......I have written about my Vision Boards ever since I started this blog, if you have never made one......do it this year, it will change your life.  I will post pictures of mine as soon as it is ready.

Make the most of this weekend, it is the last one of the year......do something remarkable.

Let Us Begin

I posted this quote on my board today before classes began, with 2013 winding down, I think it is quite pertinent......


"Yesterday is gone, tomorrow has not come, we have only today. Let us begin."   - Mother Teresa

Merry Christmas

One of the angels that hang on our tree.......I hope your Christmas has been merry and bright, may all your Christmas wishes come true.

Merry Christmas!

The Christmas of My Dreams

"everyone that I ever loved, friends and family, have come together to celebrate.....the Christmas of my dreams." - 

those are the words in part of the chorus of a Christmas song that Rick and I and our friend, Tracy Reynolds wrote a few years ago.

Missing friends and family members tonight, who have died or live far away......

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Almost Christmas

Almost Christmas.......my students were subdued today, for some, this will be the first time they have never been home for Christmas.  Many got pass outs to go home, at least for a few hours or a couple of days, but for a few Christmas will be quite different this year.  There are worse places to spend the holidays, but an addiction center is not a place people dream of being at this time of year.

The flu bug is still raging, it is cold and damp.....but there were hugs and Christmas greetings....and we did our classes listening to soothing Christmas carols.  Many times, I have taught on Christmas Eve, but not this year, my body and spirit need the rest. I will stay home tomorrow, breakfast with my brother and his family and then in the afternoon, Rick and I will visit friends who are  not so well.
Some time tomorrow, there are cookies to be baked.......I am running way behind on my holiday baking.  :)

I hope that Christmas Eve is one of joy for all of you tomorrow, cherish those you are with, share memories of those who are no longer here, and may peace wrap around you like a warm blanket.
May all your Christmas wishes come true.

Books

A book is made from a tree. It is an assemblage of flat, flexible parts (still called "leaves") imprinted with dark pigmented squiggles. One glance at it and you hear the voice of another person, perhaps someone dead for thousands of years. Across the millennia, the author is speaking, clearly and silently, inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people, citizens of distant epochs, who never knew one another. Books break the shackles of time ― proof that humans can work magic.” 
― Carl Sagan


I loved Carl Sagan, I love this quote, and I love books.  I have been a bookworm my whole life.
I was a shy, quiet child, but books were my best friends.  They allowed me to travel the world, and to imagine that I could be and do anything, after all if someone wrote about it.....the possibility was there.

We have bought our nieces and nephews books through the years, I hope that in some way we helped to instill a love of reading in them.  For many of them, we gave them subscriptions for Highlights, the magazine for kids. I think reading is a gateway for kids, to learn about the world, to open their minds, to help them to ask questions, to seek truth and knowledge.

Our walls are full of books, many are old friends that I revisit often.  The electronic world is nice and convenient, but a book in hand is worth way more and is way better to me. I hope this Christmas season, you have the opportunity to read and maybe even give a book as a gift.......spread a little magic.

Peace and Joy

A Happy Winter Solstice.......though right now in Alabama it is 74 degrees and the wind is howling.
So glad we did not hang outdoor Christmas lights this year, they would be in Georgia by now.
The painting is done, cards are mailed......now gifts to be wrapped, cookies baked, and visits to be made in the next couple of days.

Fatigue is rampant in my body tonight, but it is the good kind.......a couple of years ago I didn't know if I would live to see another Christmas, I am grateful to be here......grateful to experience and enjoy Christmas with friends and family one more year.

Enjoy your Saturday night, have a cup of nog and a cookie and cherish your Sunday.......peace and joy to everyone on this long dark night.

A Week of Joy and Sadness

Life has been most difficult for three close friends this week, two lost their dads,  the other 's husband was diagnosed with a dreaded disease......most of the time I never feel helpless, but when people I love and care for suffer, and I can do nothing......I feel helpless.

I understand the loss of a dad and the threat of disease, but how do you comfort those who are dealing with those issues.......all I can say is "I'm so sorry, what can I do?"  If I could change one thing in the world, it would be to end all suffering .  I know, we are here to experience, to learn, to grow.....I just wish it didn't involve so much pain.

I do know from the personal experience of loss and illness, that just hearing a friend's voice, getting an e-mail or text helped.....to know that someone cared, that they were concerned about my being meant so very much.  We have performed at a couple of Christmas functions this week, the kindergarten class yesterday and a brunch at the local college this morning.......I thought of how much cheer and joy I have seen this week, but also how much pain and suffering I have seen as well........life is ever changing, good and bad woven as a tapestry with mankind as the threads.  Some days it makes perfect sense and others none.  The holidays seem to magnify the emotions of sadness and joy.

Wishing you all a good night's sleep, a weekend of joy and peace.

Encore Performance

An encore performance.......Jordan's teacher asked us to come back to the kindergarten class room today to read "The Night Before Christmas."  It was also their Christmas party and energy was boundless in that room filled with five year olds.

Rick started the reading and after a few pages, I read......to watch their faces, see their expressions,
hear their laughter and excitement......there was Christmas spirit.  If you can't find your Christmas spirit, I urge you to spend time with kindergartners.......you will find it.

They sat enthralled as we read, holding on to every word, their smiling faces and sparkling eyes looking up at Rick and I as we read about St. Nick's visit.  After the story, we sang Christmas carols.....I thought last week was something.  School is almost out, Santa's coming, it was party time and there were gifts under the tree, these kids did some singing........the grand finale......"All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth."........seems everyone of them had been visited by the Tooth Fairy in the past week.

The teacher gave us a standing invitation.......we are welcome to come visit anytime......tomorrow, we play for the local college faculty at their Christmas brunch........I bet they won't be nearly as much fun as our audience today.

Christmas Miracle

A student talked with me at length  yesterday about finding spirit.  He told me of a couple of instances that had happened in his life, of people that he had met that had exhibited so much love and compassion......he knew they were different......they were living the life, walking the walk, talking the talk like no one else he had ever met. He talked about how shaking one man's hand sent a surge of
love through him that he had never felt before.

I told him about my friend who is a Buddhist Monk, about how the first time I met him, the peacefulness that seemed to shine from his being.  I knew right away, he was different, like no one I had ever met before. I have known many many religious people, but none that I had ever met had the presence and aura of love like my friend has.

I truly believe there are those among us who vibrate at a much higher frequency than most......their faces, their eyes, their voices are different....they walk among us filled with compassion and no judgement......you feel the love that they have for all humanity.  My prayer is that those people will become more common place, that it won't be that rare instance, that chance meeting......but our lives will be touched daily, by their love, their compassion and  their need not to judge.

That for me, would be a Christmas miracle.....more love for humanity, less judgement.

One of Them

I can remember in years past, seeing friends and meeting people and sometimes they would tell me about a serious illness they were dealing with, many times I would look at them and think.....but, you look great, you look so healthy.  I have always tried to be compassionate and I hope that through the years as I met those people I was compassionate......you see, I have become one of them.

Dealing with chronic illness is exhausting and at times can be frightening and depressing......especially when you see someone and they tell you how great you look......that's when the voice inside your head screams.  As a former make-up artist, and fashion consultant, I  can put together a great package, but only my husband Rick knows how my days and nights are.

I have had friends who voiced their worries and concerns with phrases like, " we are worried about you, we think you're giving up."  Ha!  Giving up would be easy, quitting my job and spending my days on the sofa would be a breeze.  Working, teaching and performing.....and trying to live a normal life is the hard stuff.  Maintaining a positive attitude is tough sometimes, when all you really want to do is throw yourself a big old pity party.....or lie in your pjs on the sofa.

I try not to talk about my health very much, usually when people ask, I tell them I'm ok, I'm good.
But, I had a small meltdown this morning, and I realized I had become "one of them.".......the ones who don't look sick, but who struggle just the same.  In the words of my friend Brenda today, "life is a bitch, but it's worth it."  She is one of them too......and yes Brenda, life is a bitch sometimes, but it is worth it. Thanks for letting me share tonight, I bet there are many of you just like me......we should form a club, with tee shirts  "I'm One of Them."

Flu Bug

The flu bug has invaded our surroundings, we have family and friends who have been stricken, it has hit my workplace.......so just a friendly reminder
1.  cough etiquette.....cough into your sleeve, not your hand
2. the flu bug can live on a hard surface for 24 hours......wash your hands frequently
3. if you have flu symptoms, like a temp over 100, aches, chills, nausea, coughing, shortness of breathe, etc......don't share.....stay home, feel better and call or see your doctor.
4. if the flu hits you......drink lots of liquids, get rest, eat lightly, call or see your doctor
5. WASH your hands frequently!

Wishing you all good health tonight, remember the flu can be deadly, take care of yourself.

Christmas Tree

The tree is decorated, cards are painted, we did Jordan's Charlie Brown tree today........well, some cards are painted, gift boxes are painted, still have some kissing balls to paint and cookies to bake this week.

Even though I use the same decorations every year, the tree always looks different. The crystal icicles are almost 40 years old, they are  my favorite decorations on the tree.....when Sam (Jordan's mom) was little, she thought they were real, she always wanted to eat one.

Once again, it has been cold and cloudy, but by mid-week it is supposed to be near seventy degrees.......this wacky Alabama weather!

I am very tired tonight, my warm cozy bed is calling my name.  Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Pooh Wisdom

some times, I wish Winnie the Pooh lived next door, I love his wisdom.........I just felt like sharing his words with you all tonight.....Pooh keeps it all in perspective.

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you.” 

“It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?” 
― A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh

Keep It In Perspective

Something dawned on me today, I had noticed it during Thanksgiving, but it truly hit me today......holidays have lost their urgency with me.  I had 25 people coming to my house for Thanksgiving dinner and never panicked, not even when that morning the side-effects from my treatments were raging and Rick had to fetch my niece to help me with the cooking.

It's that way now, I know I have a great deal to do before Christmas, I still have to shop, paint cards and decorate our tree, but there is no panic, no sense of urgency.  I finally understand how important it is to enjoy your time and not waste it with worry about things that won't matter five years from now.

Students have been asking me more and more how they can become like me......I find it puzzling, I always smile and ask them what they are talking about it.......they tell me they want my peace.
I wish I could them my/their peace, but we have to find/make our own.  Life will always have its difficulties, its ups and downs.......we just have to learn that is life......enjoy the good, and get through the bad, one breath at a time, one day at a time.

During this holiday season, if you find yourself panicked, please try to keep life in perspective......yes, the holidays are wonderful and we create great memories during them, but they are only a small part of our lives.......what we remember, what we cherish, what we become, is way more than holiday celebrations and traditions.....your kids might not remember the toys you got them, but they will remember how cranky and stressed you were or the tears you shed because something wasn't perfect.....be grateful, smile.....and don't forget to breathe.

An Equal Opportunity Holiday Celebrator

A day of rest......as it should be after treatment.  I have slept most of the day, watched a couple of movies, read a little.  I did go out this afternoon and play "fetch and catch" with Calliou.

Tomorrow, I will paint Christmas cards and hopefully by Sunday night our tree will be decorated.....and then I will shop.  I know, most of my friends and family put me to shame, their trees have been up for weeks, their shopping done, their Christmas cards mailed days ago.

It's ok........I realized years ago, when it comes to the holidays......I do live in a different time zone than most.  I wait until December to do everything.  I can't help myself, I like celebrating Halloween and Thanksgiving......I am an equal opportunity holiday celebrator.  :)

Treatment #24

Treatment # 24.......today I count my blessings, today my heart is full of gratitude.  In the past few days I had to have more tests, a new doc and a terrifying probable diagnosis......good news the tests came back negative and I am deliriously happy.  I know that much love, many prayers and good thoughts were sent my way this week and my heart overflows with joy.

The big green chairs proved a source of comfort today, I needed the nurture and care of those angels in blue.  I am getting extra meds, and the drip has been slowed again, but all is well.  There was a feeling of joy in the infusion room today.  Another of my chair buddies came in smiling, he only has two more treatments to go.....there is light at the end of his tunnel, and today, he could see it.  He glowed with happiness.

My friend Louis, came and spent time with me and there was much laughter in those green chairs.
We poked fun at the Christmas tree our angels in blue had place at their desk......it was red, crooked and stood about five inches tall.......I suggested we make it into a hat, and the tiny packages underneath could be earrings.

More good news, another chair buddy doesn't have to come back until March, she almost danced out of the room.......Christmas came early for those of us who sit in the big green chairs today, blessings were counted and gratitude spilled from all our lips......those moments are cherished when you sit in the big green chairs.

Two years.....I remember that first day of treatment, how scary those big green chairs looked,
how sad and depressing the room seemed, and how stressed those angels in blue looked.......I never thought I would find joy in that big green chair, or love, or hope.......but I have found all of that and more.......I have found friendship, faith, happiness and peace......along with the sadness of death and illness......life in those big green chairs is different and once you sit in them, you and your life become different......I never thought I would say this, but I am grateful for those big green chairs.......for the people that have sat in them beside me, for the nurses and doctors who take care of us......my life changed for the better because of those big green chairs........24 months, two years......for every day I am grateful.

A Wish of Good Health

Tomorrow is treatment day, number 24 to be exact.......I have spent way too much time with the medical profession the past couple of weeks......I ask Rick if I could play hooky tomorrow, he said no.
Health is something that I think most of us take for granted, until it is gone or at least missing for a while.  When it is lost, it becomes apparent how precious it really is.

The flu and strep are rampant in our neck of the woods, several family members have been stricken......I feel I am becoming paranoid, my hands have been washed so much, they are red and dry.  It is that season, not only of good cheer, but of nasty coughs, chills, fever and such.
I fear it might be time to wear cloves of garlic, drink foul brews and maybe leeches.......

Tonight's wish.....one of good health for all of us, may we keep it, regain it, and never lose it......and always be grateful for it.
Goodnight Sweet dreams

We Make It Through

Here is the note that I posted on my board today for my classes,
tonight, I share it with all of you:

One day at a time, one breath at a time.  That is how we make it through life.

Rainy Night

We braved the freezing cold to get our Christmas tree yesterday.......the winds whipped around the hills of the tree farm, and I forgot my hat......I think my head is still frozen.  I decorated the house last night, our tree sits in its bucket out in the yard in the pouring rain.  It has rained all day, so I figure the tree will come in  later in the week and be decorated by next weekend.

Today our music think tank friends came over, what a treat!  Good friends, music, and lots of food.....and pouring rain.  I think our universe has shifted and somehow, Alabama has become part of Ireland the past few days.  The rain pours, the drops of rain, along with the acorns bounce on the tin roof......it has a rhythm of its own.

Calliou has slept most of the day......he is a wise dog, what else should you do when it is rainy and cold?  His favorite place to sleep on a rainy day? under the house.......but tonight, he has found his way to the couch and refuses to give me an inch of space to sit.  Dogs do own their owners don't they?

Wishing you all a rainy night, a warm cozy bed, and the sweetest of dreams.

World Just Keeps On Spinning

Pearl Harbor.......I always remember my mom talking about how the world turned upside down when the news broke about the attack.  My dad and his younger brother, James both joined up like so many other young men.......they were just kids, farm boys from rural Alabama who suddenly saw humanity at its worst.

Rick's uncle was Marvin was on the USS California, he was the first casualty of war from our county.
He was just a young country boy also.

I think about how the world changed for our parents on this day long ago......life would never be the same for any of them.  Young men saw the horror of war face to face, and so many of them never saw their families or country again.

Tonight, I think about war and how it seems we as a nation have learned nothing from the wars we have fought, the lives that we have lost and taken......it does seem that war has become business as usual and we go about our daily lives not knowing and not caring that we still are fighting and people are still dying, and that those who come back will never be the same.......and history just repeats itself....and the world just keeps on spinning.

75 Kids

So, Jordan invited us to his school to sing Christmas carols.......we thought it would only be for his class.......we sang Christmas carols with FIVE kindergarten classes (75 kids and their teachers).
It was so much fun......these kids sang with enthusiasm and gusto.  Afterwards, we got to share snack time with them.....they kept telling us we looked like Mr. and Mrs. Clause.  Years ago, I was a teacher's aide in a kindergarten class, today I remembered how much fun it was.......five year olds are the best.

This afternoon we did a book signing with our friend Brenda at the local mall.  We have had a busy day, but a fun one.  I feel the Christmas spirit tonight, ready to shop, wrap, put up a tree and do my cards.  75 kids will do that to you......each and everyone said thank you and wished Rick and me a Merry Christmas......my heart just melted.

Tomorrow, Jordan will help me decorate the house, next week, we do the tree and his Charlie Brown tree.  If you have children in your family, do a Charlie Brown tree, they love it.......we cut a branch, decorate it with homemade ornaments, string some lights on it......it is all his, to decorate any way he chooses.  It will make some memories, I assure you.

Tough Old Broad

I have called myself a Tough Old Broad for quite awhile......I told my friend Terry today, I am retiring that title.  I found myself feeling very fragile and not so brave this morning.......any semblance of toughness was not to be found.  That's ok, change as I have often talked about is constant......so it's ok for me to change too.

As humans, at some point in our lives we will all feel fragile, we will all feel fear......we just can't allow those feelings to take over our lives.  It has been an exhausting day, but tomorrow the sun will rise again and we can start all over.  I might even feel like the TOB again.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Normal

Even though each day  has twenty-four hours, some seem much longer than others, and some seem much shorter.......today has been a long one.  New doc, more tests.......ugh...more tomorrow.
We are having a heat wave, mid-seventies today and tomorrow......feels so weird.
I am ready for normal........normal weather, normal body, normal days.....just plain old normal.

Fog and Rain

Fog and rain, I have driven home in fog and rain more this fall than any other time I can remember.
It is an eerie combination, especially on dark country roads.......usually I enjoy my drive home from work, but the fog and rain makes the drive stressful.  Deer and other creatures appear before you know it,  and then there are those things you think you see......you know, it's foggy rainy and you can't quite make out the shape up ahead......it could be a giant deer with tree branches for antlers or......it could be what it is......tree limbs on the side of the road.

Fog and rain......it can also be quite beautiful.  The raindrops hitting the windshield through a foggy mist......driving along a hill top in the rain, while the valley below is shrouded in thick swirling fog....it is a surreal kind of beauty....the kind that is breath-taking, yet scary.  Fog and rain.......driving you get the feeling you could be anywhere, there is a displaced sensation of knowing yet not being sure of the road.  Fog and rain........time for you to go away......my imagination is too vivid for.....fog and rain.

Mother Nature's Critters

The cold rainy weather has brought on a slew of critters looking for food.......the birds have been amazing.  Today, before I left for work there must have been at least fifty birds at our feeders......doves, cardinals, jays, woodpeckers.....our yard looked like one of those all you can eat places with an early bird special.

That's the beauty of windows floor to ceiling.......we can be all warm and cozy.....but Mother Nature is an open book that we read daily from our living room sofa.

Tonight on the drive home, within a quarter mile of our house......at least six or seven deer....they are lucky, still lots of acorns and hickory nuts to munch on.....and always suet and bird seed at the Watson house.

Wishing you all your very own visit with Mother Nature's critters, may they delight and amaze you.

December 1

December 1......24 months of treatments, can I do this the rest of my life?

December 1......all of my siblings gathered together today, a Christmas gathering of sorts, no gifts, just the love of family and good food

December 1.....cold, grey cloudy day, this would have been Rick's mom's 89th birthday

December 1......24 days til Christmas

December 1....making a list, checking it twice

December 1.....a month of birthdays for our families, my mom's on the 7th, Rick's sister, Mary Lois on the 12, my nephew Haven's on the 21, my niece Jayna's on the 23, Haven's wife, Alesha's on the 26th......wow, that's a lot of birthdays!

December 1.....winter, the shortest day of the year, bare trees, cold frosty mornings and maybe if we are lucky......snowflakes.

December 1.......Christmas cookies, painting Christmas cards, shopping, decorating a tree, wrapping gifts, visits with friends and family......a busy time.

December 1......a time to look back and reflect, a time to look ahead and hope

December 1.....the CD, we play it every year on December 1, one of my most favorite CD's ever......do yourself a favor, if your spirit needs lifting, buy yourself a copy, December by George Winston

December 1......one thing I have learned, time goes much slower when you are a child.