Tomorrow I find out if the treatments are working, if they need to be continued or stopped.......I hope I sleep tonight. Needless to say, it's a big day this first day of August. I am working hard on no expectations tonight, we shall see what happens. Will keep you posted.
Today was a good day. We got almost six inches of rain, and Jordan spent the day. We spent a great deal of time, splashing in puddles. We are also making Christmas tree ornaments out of play dough for his mom......don't tell, it's a surprise! I know it's early, to be talking Christmas, but you have to prepare for this stuff, and besides.......he loves play dough. He also taught me his version of hop-scotch........trust me, you have never played hop-scotch until you have played his version.....it involves, bonus points, and sweet gum balls.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Monday, July 30, 2012
Don't Compromise Yourself
Tonight, I have ran out of steam......but I ran across this quote in the back of one my favorite books.
I do that often, write quotes down in the back of books that I read frequently......this quote seems so profound tonight, so I want to share it with you. Spoken by one of my most favorite musicians ever......
I can hear her saying this in that raspy voice........
"Don't compromise yourself, you're all you've got." - Janis Joplin
RIP in Janis, you spoke the truth.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Give More, Expect Less
Give more, expect less......a friend posted a list of simple rules to live by on FB this morning, give more, expect less were part of the rules. In yoga I teach about letting go of expectations, our expectations rarely are met and quite often leave us deflated and depressed.
The past few years I have tried to live my life by giving more and expecting nothing.......not even a thank you.
It's hard I admit, but if you give......your time, money, gifts, advice, talents, whatever without expectations, giving becomes so easy. What is it about our society that when we give, we expect? And those expectations lead to hurt feelings, anger, indignation, self-righteousness and more.
Give more, expect less......four words that could make your life easier, happier, and simpler.......
Give more
Expect less
The past few years I have tried to live my life by giving more and expecting nothing.......not even a thank you.
It's hard I admit, but if you give......your time, money, gifts, advice, talents, whatever without expectations, giving becomes so easy. What is it about our society that when we give, we expect? And those expectations lead to hurt feelings, anger, indignation, self-righteousness and more.
Give more, expect less......four words that could make your life easier, happier, and simpler.......
Give more
Expect less
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Backyard Blessings
We live in a poverty stricken area.......sad, but true. Tonight, Rick and I played a fundraiser for a program called Backyard Blessings. The program was started by a friend of ours, because we have so many children
in our school system who have no food when they are home on weekends. At school, they get breakfast and lunch, but for many different reasons almost 300 children (just in our local elementary and middle school)
go hungry on the weekends.
How can that be? Poverty, drugs, alcohol, no jobs the list goes on and on. So each Friday, Leneda and her volunteers pack bags of juice boxes, raisins, peanut butter, microwaveable mac and cheese, fruit, crackers, cereal, etc and the bags are discreetly placed in those children's back packs. Sadly the numbers are growing.
Tonight was successful, local businesses and folks who live in the community pitched in, donations of money and food were given and our friend Leneda was smiling. One of the things that I have noticed about our county, and the small communities scattered around, no matter how great the need and no matter how little some may have......everyone tries to step up to the plate. Many of these communities are the same ones who were hit by the April 27 tornadoes last year. Lots of kids came tonight, free movie and popcorn,
free jump jumps, and they all were having a large time.
Being on stage in the heat......it was nothing......Rick and I have plenty of food, but knowing that in a very small way, we helped to feed a child......that meant so much. When I tell friends in other places about Backyard Blessings they often don't believe that children in America are hungry. To hear the politicians talk, we all live in the land of milk and honey......they should all come to Walker Co. Alabama and take a good long look at reality. Honestly, I figure this problem is widespread, it's just not talked about.
I am exhausted, a treatment this week, hours in the heat this evening......but you know, I'd do it all over again tomorrow.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams
in our school system who have no food when they are home on weekends. At school, they get breakfast and lunch, but for many different reasons almost 300 children (just in our local elementary and middle school)
go hungry on the weekends.
How can that be? Poverty, drugs, alcohol, no jobs the list goes on and on. So each Friday, Leneda and her volunteers pack bags of juice boxes, raisins, peanut butter, microwaveable mac and cheese, fruit, crackers, cereal, etc and the bags are discreetly placed in those children's back packs. Sadly the numbers are growing.
Tonight was successful, local businesses and folks who live in the community pitched in, donations of money and food were given and our friend Leneda was smiling. One of the things that I have noticed about our county, and the small communities scattered around, no matter how great the need and no matter how little some may have......everyone tries to step up to the plate. Many of these communities are the same ones who were hit by the April 27 tornadoes last year. Lots of kids came tonight, free movie and popcorn,
free jump jumps, and they all were having a large time.
Being on stage in the heat......it was nothing......Rick and I have plenty of food, but knowing that in a very small way, we helped to feed a child......that meant so much. When I tell friends in other places about Backyard Blessings they often don't believe that children in America are hungry. To hear the politicians talk, we all live in the land of milk and honey......they should all come to Walker Co. Alabama and take a good long look at reality. Honestly, I figure this problem is widespread, it's just not talked about.
I am exhausted, a treatment this week, hours in the heat this evening......but you know, I'd do it all over again tomorrow.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams
Friday, July 27, 2012
Who I Am
A new ( well sorta) adventure........I have painted for years.....murals, paintings, rugs, and candles and Christmas cards. Then, for what ever reason, I pretty much stopped, other than my personal Christmas cards that I paint each year. I visited with an old friend today from Gainesville, Fl. His company is opening a Christmas shop this year and he wants to include my cards in their shop. I am so excited!
Isn't it amazing how when one door opens, just a wee bit, you began to see all sorts of possibilities. The wheels are spinning in my head, I am thinking I should call some of the shops that use to carry my painted candles and see if they would like to carry my cards.
It's odd about the cards, a couple of weeks ago when we were visiting our friends down on the river, Tom asked me to walk in their living room he had something to show me. Hanging over their fireplace was this massive, beautiful frame........and in it, my Christmas cards that I had painted for them through the years.
Another friend has had several of them framed also. I was so touched, that the cards had meant that much to them.
I love performing, I love teaching, but I have missed painting.......and there is room in my life for all of it.
The art and the music have been a part of me since I was a child......and I have come to realize that I can't deny any part of me.......all of it makes me who I am today.
So I am grateful tonight.....for friends and opportunities, for my gifts and passions.......for those who believe in me enough, to hang my paintings on their walls.
Isn't it amazing how when one door opens, just a wee bit, you began to see all sorts of possibilities. The wheels are spinning in my head, I am thinking I should call some of the shops that use to carry my painted candles and see if they would like to carry my cards.
It's odd about the cards, a couple of weeks ago when we were visiting our friends down on the river, Tom asked me to walk in their living room he had something to show me. Hanging over their fireplace was this massive, beautiful frame........and in it, my Christmas cards that I had painted for them through the years.
Another friend has had several of them framed also. I was so touched, that the cards had meant that much to them.
I love performing, I love teaching, but I have missed painting.......and there is room in my life for all of it.
The art and the music have been a part of me since I was a child......and I have come to realize that I can't deny any part of me.......all of it makes me who I am today.
So I am grateful tonight.....for friends and opportunities, for my gifts and passions.......for those who believe in me enough, to hang my paintings on their walls.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
A Night of Music
This will be a fast and furious entry tonight.......my friend Christine Ohlman, the Beehive Queen, blues singer extraordinaire is doing a live stream with the Muscle Shoals band, The Decoys tonight. Last year I was there, but since I did my treatment yesterday was not able to go tonight........yes, I am sad......but the music is wonderful and I will be there next year!
Christine and the guys are taking a break, so I am typing as fast as I possibly can. If any of you watch SNL
she is the incredible singer on the show, and has been for almost 20 years.
This is the WC Handy Festival in Muscle Shoals/Florence, the music is always the best.......if ya'll can come to Alabama next year, I promise braving the heat and the humidity will be worth it.
Got to go, show is about to start up again. Nothing makes me happier, if I can't be on the stage, next best thing......watching my friends.
Christine and the guys are taking a break, so I am typing as fast as I possibly can. If any of you watch SNL
she is the incredible singer on the show, and has been for almost 20 years.
This is the WC Handy Festival in Muscle Shoals/Florence, the music is always the best.......if ya'll can come to Alabama next year, I promise braving the heat and the humidity will be worth it.
Got to go, show is about to start up again. Nothing makes me happier, if I can't be on the stage, next best thing......watching my friends.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Treatment #6
Number 6, how many more? At this point, I don't know.......will have #7 in a few weeks, and see what the docs have to say. The past six months have been one of the strangest periods in my life. In many ways,
life seems to be suspended right now, time just hanging like a broken twig in the wind......but it is also rushing by faster than ever.....the treatments seem to come faster and faster.
The big green chair looms in my thoughts almost daily.......really sad day today. TV on, almost all new faces.
I miss my chair buddy, Rosemary.......I don't think I have it in me to make a new chair buddy. I feel heavy, does that make sense? Weighted down and small.......very small.
On a good note, the one familiar face from the past few months, a sweet sweet woman asked me why my hair was not falling out. I explained that my treatments were not for cancer, but to restore my immune system. She looked at me for a moment, gave me the warmest, biggest hug and said a prayer for me, right then and there. She was so worried and concerned that I might catch something in the infusion room. I promised her I would be fine, but I needed her promise that she would be too. She and her husband both hugged me, and told me not to worry. For those few brief moments, there was an incredible shift of energy in that room........there was love and hope. I don't know if the others felt it or not, but the nurse who was standing beside me did. The four of us shed tears........cleansing, healing, loving tears.
I don't know where this path will lead, when it will end.........sometimes it is scary, sometimes filled with dread, but as Rick has said so many times......this has all been a warning shot across the bow of our life boat.
Most days, I truly don't think about tomorrow, and every day without fail, I say many prayers of gratitude......for friends, for family, for talents, for all that is good and beautiful around me,for the team of doctors who care for me, the nurses who are always so kind, for my friends at work who cheer me on.
I always remind myself, things could be worse.......and I remind myself to be grateful........there is always something to be grateful for......today was #6.
life seems to be suspended right now, time just hanging like a broken twig in the wind......but it is also rushing by faster than ever.....the treatments seem to come faster and faster.
The big green chair looms in my thoughts almost daily.......really sad day today. TV on, almost all new faces.
I miss my chair buddy, Rosemary.......I don't think I have it in me to make a new chair buddy. I feel heavy, does that make sense? Weighted down and small.......very small.
On a good note, the one familiar face from the past few months, a sweet sweet woman asked me why my hair was not falling out. I explained that my treatments were not for cancer, but to restore my immune system. She looked at me for a moment, gave me the warmest, biggest hug and said a prayer for me, right then and there. She was so worried and concerned that I might catch something in the infusion room. I promised her I would be fine, but I needed her promise that she would be too. She and her husband both hugged me, and told me not to worry. For those few brief moments, there was an incredible shift of energy in that room........there was love and hope. I don't know if the others felt it or not, but the nurse who was standing beside me did. The four of us shed tears........cleansing, healing, loving tears.
I don't know where this path will lead, when it will end.........sometimes it is scary, sometimes filled with dread, but as Rick has said so many times......this has all been a warning shot across the bow of our life boat.
Most days, I truly don't think about tomorrow, and every day without fail, I say many prayers of gratitude......for friends, for family, for talents, for all that is good and beautiful around me,for the team of doctors who care for me, the nurses who are always so kind, for my friends at work who cheer me on.
I always remind myself, things could be worse.......and I remind myself to be grateful........there is always something to be grateful for......today was #6.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
I Don't Want to Flicker
"You want to live your life like an incandescent light bulb-not a fluorescent bulb that flickers at the end, but one that burns brightly and suddenly goes out." - Sanjay Gupta
There is an article in this month's Prevention magazine by Dr. Gupta, I think he says some pretty profound things. He talks about as a med student he never received any nutritional training, what he has learned, has been on his own. He talks about the importance of exercise, that movement is vital to health.
And my favorite, he stresses stop medicating, start meditating.
His quote about going like a light bulb truly hit home to me. My father died like an incandescent bulb, but my mom.......flickered away slowly for almost two years. Me, I pray that my light burns blindingly bright, and then goes out in the blink of an eye.
I think our health is something that we really have to work at, we have to participate in our personal health care, and we can never take it for granted.....we have to be informed, and willing to do our share to stay healthy. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, my lifestyle has kept my health out of a downward spiral.
I believe we are what we eat, what we think, and how we move, and that stillness (meditation) and breath work both play a great part in our good health. We have to learn to practice preventative medicine and realize that so many of our health woes stem from bad habits, bad nutrition, and non-movement. And even when the cards are stacked against us, there are still things that we can do.
I have written this many times, fresh fruits, vegetables, fresh air and sunshine, clean water and movement,
a few minutes of daily meditation.........will change your life.
There is an article in this month's Prevention magazine by Dr. Gupta, I think he says some pretty profound things. He talks about as a med student he never received any nutritional training, what he has learned, has been on his own. He talks about the importance of exercise, that movement is vital to health.
And my favorite, he stresses stop medicating, start meditating.
His quote about going like a light bulb truly hit home to me. My father died like an incandescent bulb, but my mom.......flickered away slowly for almost two years. Me, I pray that my light burns blindingly bright, and then goes out in the blink of an eye.
I think our health is something that we really have to work at, we have to participate in our personal health care, and we can never take it for granted.....we have to be informed, and willing to do our share to stay healthy. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, my lifestyle has kept my health out of a downward spiral.
I believe we are what we eat, what we think, and how we move, and that stillness (meditation) and breath work both play a great part in our good health. We have to learn to practice preventative medicine and realize that so many of our health woes stem from bad habits, bad nutrition, and non-movement. And even when the cards are stacked against us, there are still things that we can do.
I have written this many times, fresh fruits, vegetables, fresh air and sunshine, clean water and movement,
a few minutes of daily meditation.........will change your life.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Break
The tapping of the keys, the dance of dumb phrases, and the deluge of lame thoughts........tonight is one of those nights. How can this be? How can the brain become so empty and thoughts so foreign?
I think the brain is just like the body, and the spirit......at times, they all need a break.
So on this Monday night, not only will I give my body sleep, my spirit love, I will give my brain a break.
We'll see what happens tomorrow night!
Goodnight, Sweet dreams
I think the brain is just like the body, and the spirit......at times, they all need a break.
So on this Monday night, not only will I give my body sleep, my spirit love, I will give my brain a break.
We'll see what happens tomorrow night!
Goodnight, Sweet dreams
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Life Goes On
This past week has been a long arduous one.......today seems as though every little downside that took place in the last seven days, replayed itself in my head and heart. Sometimes it's just that way. Not often do I feel this way, actually it has been quite awhile, but I feel beaten......not defeated, just beaten......and I promise I won't be this way for long.
Times like these, you grow, you reflect, you cry.......and then you put your big girl panties on, and face the world with a smile......and you know it will all be ok. Normally I would also talk about taking some deep breaths, but the past couple of days, even those have been difficult.
I am optimistic about tomorrow, Monday.......a brand new week, the last week of July.......summer's heat will soon be just another memory. Life goes on, just as it should.
Times like these, you grow, you reflect, you cry.......and then you put your big girl panties on, and face the world with a smile......and you know it will all be ok. Normally I would also talk about taking some deep breaths, but the past couple of days, even those have been difficult.
I am optimistic about tomorrow, Monday.......a brand new week, the last week of July.......summer's heat will soon be just another memory. Life goes on, just as it should.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
New Do
Today was rainy and muggy, and all is lush and green.
We spent the afternoon with friends down on the Warrior River........I needed the love and laughter.
Wishing you all sweet dreams tonight, and peaceful Sunday tomorrow.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Need and Greed
Need and greed........easy to get them confused. Hard to be honest about what it is we really need......and even more difficult to admit greed. Need and greed, a hard pill to swallow, a most difficult lesson to grasp.
What exactly do we need, and why is there so much greed?
We need shelter, food, safety, education, and love.........for the past couple of years, I have lectured myself on letting go of stuff......and at times made admirable steps towards letting it all go.......and then, well you get the picture. Have we/I been so brainwashed by Madison Avenue that our greed has become an addiction?
I think so.
Affirmations, daily reminders, mantras.......I am using them all.......breaking this habit of thinking something is
need, when really it is my greed. Need and greed, small words........but life changing.
What exactly do we need, and why is there so much greed?
We need shelter, food, safety, education, and love.........for the past couple of years, I have lectured myself on letting go of stuff......and at times made admirable steps towards letting it all go.......and then, well you get the picture. Have we/I been so brainwashed by Madison Avenue that our greed has become an addiction?
I think so.
Affirmations, daily reminders, mantras.......I am using them all.......breaking this habit of thinking something is
need, when really it is my greed. Need and greed, small words........but life changing.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Fruits of Association
A few weeks ago, Rick and I were invited to join a think tank of sorts........all musicians, songwriters and such. We have had two meetings.......it has been wonderful. A small intimate group, like minds, creative,
and the smallest egos I have ever seen! These folks are fun, talented and caring and inspiring. Rick and I have written four new songs since joining this group.
We met at our house this past weekend........we discuss venues to play, we play our new songs to each other, and talk about directions for the group. My personal thoughts about it, I hope we stay the small intimate group we are right now. My experience has been with similar groups in the past, as more and more are brought into the group, egos grow, and division grows......and sooner or later, everything fizzles out.
For right now, this small think tank suits my needs and wants. Being around those who are trying to do the same thing as you are, hearing their successes and about their failures is both inspiring and enlightening.
It has been a week of extreme ups and downs.........the death of Blackie Bear, and the fellowship of this group of music creators. Next week is treatment # 6......I hope it is a non-eventful week......just a week of healing and rest.
If you find yourself in a group of like interest individuals, spend some time with them.......allow their energy to ignite yours, indulge in their knowledge, enjoy their fellowship......and then reap the fruits of association.
and the smallest egos I have ever seen! These folks are fun, talented and caring and inspiring. Rick and I have written four new songs since joining this group.
We met at our house this past weekend........we discuss venues to play, we play our new songs to each other, and talk about directions for the group. My personal thoughts about it, I hope we stay the small intimate group we are right now. My experience has been with similar groups in the past, as more and more are brought into the group, egos grow, and division grows......and sooner or later, everything fizzles out.
For right now, this small think tank suits my needs and wants. Being around those who are trying to do the same thing as you are, hearing their successes and about their failures is both inspiring and enlightening.
It has been a week of extreme ups and downs.........the death of Blackie Bear, and the fellowship of this group of music creators. Next week is treatment # 6......I hope it is a non-eventful week......just a week of healing and rest.
If you find yourself in a group of like interest individuals, spend some time with them.......allow their energy to ignite yours, indulge in their knowledge, enjoy their fellowship......and then reap the fruits of association.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Someday
Inspiration comes out of the blue in the least expected places........Rick and I had watched a movie awhile back called Knight and Day with Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz. There is a scene in the movie when they are chatting on board a plane and she mentions something about someday. Tom's character replies" someday is code for never." That line blew me away.
We all so guilty of saying someday.........and for most of us, most of the time.......we are just saying never.
In the past couple of months I have tried to never say someday again. If it is something that I truly want to do, I try to give myself a time frame.....and if it's just not that important, I make no mention of it.
Someday........it sounds harmless doesn't it? But it lulls us into a false sense of security........making us think well, yeah, someday......we'll do that, we'll go there. So if you find yourself, saying someday ........just mentally replace it with never........I promise it is a slap in the face, a wake-up call to really pursue what is important.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Thanks
Thanks to all of you who expressed your condolences. It is plain to see that you love and understand the loss of a beloved pet. Blackie Bear decided long ago I was his human, he tolerated Rick and at times appeared to even like him.........but I belonged to him.
Dealing with my illness the past year, brought out the truly protective nature in Bear......even though his heart was failing he always kept a watchful eye on me. On treatment days when I came home, he took his place on the floor beside the sofa, only moving when I did. When nausea hit, he sat at the bathroom door......and every morning when we walked, even as his steps grew weaker.......he waited patiently for me to come and rest.
The Watson house seems so empty, after all Blackie Bear weighed almost 100 lbs, just a little less than me.
I understand loss and I know grief, and I know that with time, the emptiness and loss eases.
Once again, thank you all for your love and kindness.......you would have loved him too.
Dealing with my illness the past year, brought out the truly protective nature in Bear......even though his heart was failing he always kept a watchful eye on me. On treatment days when I came home, he took his place on the floor beside the sofa, only moving when I did. When nausea hit, he sat at the bathroom door......and every morning when we walked, even as his steps grew weaker.......he waited patiently for me to come and rest.
The Watson house seems so empty, after all Blackie Bear weighed almost 100 lbs, just a little less than me.
I understand loss and I know grief, and I know that with time, the emptiness and loss eases.
Once again, thank you all for your love and kindness.......you would have loved him too.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Blackie Bear
He was my faithful, loving friend for 15 years.
He was my nurse and guardian.
I sat down on the sofa after we had walked this morning, he came over beside me, nudged me with his head, and I petted him. I didn't know it then but he was telling me goodbye. Less than thirty minutes later, he walked outside and died.
He will be missed.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Happy Crew
I cherish these days, they have become these incredible jewels that I hold in my heart. There was so much love and joy at my sister's house today, I didn't want to leave.
In the photo, left to right......Jayna, Becky, and Carmine......I'm in the back.....we are a happy crew.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Reasons and Lessons
I often have to remind myself that everyone in my life is there for a reason.......and sometimes I have to also remind myself, the opposite is true too.......that I am in their life for a reason. I also have to remind myself that my definition of friendship is not the same as someone else's.
I have written several blogs about friendships, about the power of words, and purpose. I really struggle with
relationships/friendships sometimes......we pick our friends, we deal with our families.......so how far do you let it go? Is it all based on respect, kindness, common interest, and love? Do we allow ourselves to be trashed by someone in the name of friendship/family........are criticism, hurtful words, in the disguise of "truth"
acceptable.......or is it just mean spirited digs, thinly disguised?
I can't ever remember hurting anyone in my life on purpose, those that vex my spirit I tend to keep my distance.......but sometimes a "veil" of friendship can hide bitterness and a hardened heart. Is the lesson mine to learn, or am I there to teach a lesson? Maybe I will never know.
Serious thoughts and questions for a Saturday night.
I have written several blogs about friendships, about the power of words, and purpose. I really struggle with
relationships/friendships sometimes......we pick our friends, we deal with our families.......so how far do you let it go? Is it all based on respect, kindness, common interest, and love? Do we allow ourselves to be trashed by someone in the name of friendship/family........are criticism, hurtful words, in the disguise of "truth"
acceptable.......or is it just mean spirited digs, thinly disguised?
I can't ever remember hurting anyone in my life on purpose, those that vex my spirit I tend to keep my distance.......but sometimes a "veil" of friendship can hide bitterness and a hardened heart. Is the lesson mine to learn, or am I there to teach a lesson? Maybe I will never know.
Serious thoughts and questions for a Saturday night.
Friday, July 13, 2012
Breathing Through the Pain
It is always interesting to see who shows up for yoga class......some days I turn students away, there is no space, and other days only a few drift in. Today, the numbers were small, but it seems those who made it to class today needed it......most had chronic pain issues.
When I have those who suffer with chronic pain, the emphasis is always on breath work.......and we did lots of breathing today.......as we moved through the breaths, you could see faces soften and smiles began to appear......pretty amazing to watch pain leave the body.
Those who hurt the most, are the ones who doubt the most........they often look at me with disbelief when I talk about breath work and pain management. As we finished the class, I covered them with fresh blankets, placed eye pillows on their eyes, and continued with fifteen minutes of relaxation. They left with smiles and hugs, and promises to see me again Monday. I love my job.
When I have those who suffer with chronic pain, the emphasis is always on breath work.......and we did lots of breathing today.......as we moved through the breaths, you could see faces soften and smiles began to appear......pretty amazing to watch pain leave the body.
Those who hurt the most, are the ones who doubt the most........they often look at me with disbelief when I talk about breath work and pain management. As we finished the class, I covered them with fresh blankets, placed eye pillows on their eyes, and continued with fifteen minutes of relaxation. They left with smiles and hugs, and promises to see me again Monday. I love my job.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Play Day
A rainy day can be so much fun with a four year old......Jordan spent the day.......of course, we splashed through puddles. By the time his Nana picked him up, he was covered in mud.....but she was an awfully good sport about it.
Jordan's favorite rainy day sport is to ask you to stand under low hanging branches so he can take your picture, then he yanks on the branch and you get drenched........we played this one many times today.
It is good for the soul to spend the day in play, not adult play (which that is fun too) but child's play.
Child's play is no worry about what you have on, no worry about how you look, the rules are made up as you go.......and can change on a dime. There is much laughter, quite a bit of silliness, sometimes a scrapped knee or bruise and lots of running. You eat when you are hungry, drink when you are thirsty......and popsicles are a food group.
I feel as though I have been on a wonderful vacation......after Jordan left, our friend Joe dropped by, and we wrote a new song. WOW! what a wonderful, fun day.......child's play and adult play.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Lessons I Learn
One of the most important things I have learned from my job........you can't save anyone. I still struggle with that one......but I know in my heart it is true. You can be there with love, with support, with care.......but life is what it is. People get sick, some get well, some don't, some make good choices, others make horrible choices.
We have several friends who are going through extremely rough times......everything from illness, to addiction issues.........we can't heal, we can't save.....but we can love.....we can listen......and give hugs. It's interesting, we are all in this life together, but there comes a time.......when a choice is made, and we make it......alone.
I hear it, I see it almost daily......I talk about it almost every night on this blog.......life is choice......we choose and then we live or struggle with our choices. Even when you're blindsided by the obstacles, those things you never expected, you make choices on what to accept, deal with or live with or walk away from. Even with illness, when it seems there are no choices, there really are choices to be made.
I never meant to write this blog tonight, but the day's events triggered the words......and the lessons I learn haunt me sometimes.
We have several friends who are going through extremely rough times......everything from illness, to addiction issues.........we can't heal, we can't save.....but we can love.....we can listen......and give hugs. It's interesting, we are all in this life together, but there comes a time.......when a choice is made, and we make it......alone.
I hear it, I see it almost daily......I talk about it almost every night on this blog.......life is choice......we choose and then we live or struggle with our choices. Even when you're blindsided by the obstacles, those things you never expected, you make choices on what to accept, deal with or live with or walk away from. Even with illness, when it seems there are no choices, there really are choices to be made.
I never meant to write this blog tonight, but the day's events triggered the words......and the lessons I learn haunt me sometimes.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Lost Day
Some days are just lost, you don't mean for them to be, they are not planned, but life happens.
Today was a lost day for me, illness kicked my butt around 3:00 am, most of the day I have slept.
Days like this one......a struggle to not get down.......I figured I must have needed the rest really bad.
Yesterday had been awesome, the most energy in quite a while, I was almost giddy.
Blackie Bear and I are old pros at sharing the sofa/floor space, he hangs in there, just like Rick.
The good news, rain is coming in, we have had a few showers today.......and temps will only be in the 80's tomorrow. I hope all of you get some cooler days and raindrops (if you need them).
Lost days, a reason and a purpose........I hope I find my day tomorrow.
Today was a lost day for me, illness kicked my butt around 3:00 am, most of the day I have slept.
Days like this one......a struggle to not get down.......I figured I must have needed the rest really bad.
Yesterday had been awesome, the most energy in quite a while, I was almost giddy.
Blackie Bear and I are old pros at sharing the sofa/floor space, he hangs in there, just like Rick.
The good news, rain is coming in, we have had a few showers today.......and temps will only be in the 80's tomorrow. I hope all of you get some cooler days and raindrops (if you need them).
Lost days, a reason and a purpose........I hope I find my day tomorrow.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Purpose
Purpose.......I believe we all have a purpose, I also believe that much unhappiness and emptiness comes when you live a life without purpose. One of my students and I talked about this tonight before class, we both admitted we had friends and relatives who seem to just exist........with no purpose......they do nothing.
I have heard younger students mention often that they want to live their lives doing nothing........I can't comprehend that.......how can you do nothing? Not day after day, year after year. Joy comes from service and caring. Helping others, teaching, loving, sharing, volunteering........I think humans are wired for purpose....and when there is no purpose.........the emptiness steals your soul.
Something else that I have observed around people who seem to have no purpose........all their thoughts and actions become directed inward, on themselves. Pain often subsides or disappears when you help someone else.....even a hobby, a passion, doing what you love, serves as purpose.
Most of us, at some point lose our way, or we fall by the wayside........but after awhile, we remember our purpose, our reason for being here and we continue. I think fear keeps many from finding or pursuing their purpose. Fear robs you of life......you may be alive.....but fear will stop you from living........fear will tell you there is no purpose, there is no reason you are here.
Purpose, if you find yourself wavering, wondering if you really have a purpose.........first think about what you loved doing as a child, next think about what you would do, if you could do anything with your life, go anywhere, do anything............somewhere in the middle lies the truth........your purpose.
I have heard younger students mention often that they want to live their lives doing nothing........I can't comprehend that.......how can you do nothing? Not day after day, year after year. Joy comes from service and caring. Helping others, teaching, loving, sharing, volunteering........I think humans are wired for purpose....and when there is no purpose.........the emptiness steals your soul.
Something else that I have observed around people who seem to have no purpose........all their thoughts and actions become directed inward, on themselves. Pain often subsides or disappears when you help someone else.....even a hobby, a passion, doing what you love, serves as purpose.
Most of us, at some point lose our way, or we fall by the wayside........but after awhile, we remember our purpose, our reason for being here and we continue. I think fear keeps many from finding or pursuing their purpose. Fear robs you of life......you may be alive.....but fear will stop you from living........fear will tell you there is no purpose, there is no reason you are here.
Purpose, if you find yourself wavering, wondering if you really have a purpose.........first think about what you loved doing as a child, next think about what you would do, if you could do anything with your life, go anywhere, do anything............somewhere in the middle lies the truth........your purpose.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Beautiful Things
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, but just felt in the heart." - Helen Keller
Love, joy, friendship, peace, kindness, contentment, happiness.........what you cannot buy,yet we all seek them in our lives. We take for granted so much that we see and touch, think of what we miss when we ignore those feelings in our hearts.
Wishing you all a week filled with beautiful things felt in your hearts.
Love, joy, friendship, peace, kindness, contentment, happiness.........what you cannot buy,yet we all seek them in our lives. We take for granted so much that we see and touch, think of what we miss when we ignore those feelings in our hearts.
Wishing you all a week filled with beautiful things felt in your hearts.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Roller Coaster
Yin and Yang, that is the way my day has been........the best and the worst......but that is how life is, what life is. Last night, we did what I wish I could do every weekend, play music......share the stage with wonderful singer/songwriters. The drive home today (though it took a few hours) seemed over with in minutes......that's what happens when the circle of life hits the good side. Rick and I have both glowed all day.
This afternoon, ........ I found out someone I love, her health is not so good.....and without a miracle,well, you know the ending to this story. I know she and I are in each other's lives for a reason......she told me today, I have to be the strong one.....she's depending on me. Honestly, I feel everything but strong tonight. I feel utterly helpless and useless......
Today has been my ride on the roller coaster of life..........on the top, and down in the valley. Most days are not that extreme are they? I am drained and exhausted......my brain refuses to function.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams
This afternoon, ........ I found out someone I love, her health is not so good.....and without a miracle,well, you know the ending to this story. I know she and I are in each other's lives for a reason......she told me today, I have to be the strong one.....she's depending on me. Honestly, I feel everything but strong tonight. I feel utterly helpless and useless......
Today has been my ride on the roller coaster of life..........on the top, and down in the valley. Most days are not that extreme are they? I am drained and exhausted......my brain refuses to function.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams
Stormy Opelika Night
Wind howling, rain pouring, lightening and thunder.......we just got through with our gig....and made it back to the hotel. It was a wonderful venue, super crowd, and really good music!
There were six of us, each singer/songwriter unique. Yes, it has been a long day, we just ate a cheeseburger (late dinner) and the power keeps flickering here at the hotel.
Opelika Unplugged, the first Friday night in each month......if you're in the neighborhood, drop by......you'll love it! I think with all this rain and thunder, it is time to say hello to the sandman.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams
There were six of us, each singer/songwriter unique. Yes, it has been a long day, we just ate a cheeseburger (late dinner) and the power keeps flickering here at the hotel.
Opelika Unplugged, the first Friday night in each month......if you're in the neighborhood, drop by......you'll love it! I think with all this rain and thunder, it is time to say hello to the sandman.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Interstate Heat
We met friends today in Huntsville for lunch, then headed home to get it all together for our gig tomorrow night. I envisioned a great practice.......I should learn a lesson here( never envision). As we were getting on I-65 South to head for home, an Alabama State Trooper flew by us with his lights and siren going crazy.
My first thought, wreck on the Interstate. We were just a short ways from the bridge over the Tennessee River, and traffic came to a screeching halt.........2:10 pm, 98 degrees. Seems a tractor trailer had jack-knifed on the bridge. Did I say it was 98 degrees?
Since my treatments started, I am never warm, I never sweat, I sleep in polar fleece........that all changed today. Ingrid is old, we cut her engine off, we had not stopped to get water, we were only about an hour and forty-five minutes from home...... It was 98 degrees on the Interstate, with literally a couple of thousand cars. I sweated, I still feel sick......If Scottie could have beamed me up, I would have left and never stepped foot in Alabama again. We were there an hour and a half.
All I could think of........I should have gone to work today, and taught my classes. I know......I need mental health breaks........this one today......has stressed me and my body to the limit.
I remember my mom and dad never went anywhere in Alabama summers without ice and water.......trust me,
lesson hammered into my head today ( it still hurts) I would have stood on the side of the road naked if I had thought it would cool me down........but, in the heat, even being naked doesn't help.
Everyone for miles was standing outside their cars talking. The car beside us, the woman was wheelchair bound, they had their little dog.........I kept thinking of all those people stranded in the heat......old, sick,
children........I know this was totally unexpected, but our state has evacuation plans for hurricanes, nuclear
disasters, tornadoes.......looks as though maybe someone might think about bringing in some water for traffic disasters in Alabama heat.
Sorry for the rant, but you know that is life sometimes difficult for all of us, my transformation information for you all tonight...... if you are driving through Alabama in the summer.......make sure you have a cooler with water for you and your pets.
My first thought, wreck on the Interstate. We were just a short ways from the bridge over the Tennessee River, and traffic came to a screeching halt.........2:10 pm, 98 degrees. Seems a tractor trailer had jack-knifed on the bridge. Did I say it was 98 degrees?
Since my treatments started, I am never warm, I never sweat, I sleep in polar fleece........that all changed today. Ingrid is old, we cut her engine off, we had not stopped to get water, we were only about an hour and forty-five minutes from home...... It was 98 degrees on the Interstate, with literally a couple of thousand cars. I sweated, I still feel sick......If Scottie could have beamed me up, I would have left and never stepped foot in Alabama again. We were there an hour and a half.
All I could think of........I should have gone to work today, and taught my classes. I know......I need mental health breaks........this one today......has stressed me and my body to the limit.
I remember my mom and dad never went anywhere in Alabama summers without ice and water.......trust me,
lesson hammered into my head today ( it still hurts) I would have stood on the side of the road naked if I had thought it would cool me down........but, in the heat, even being naked doesn't help.
Everyone for miles was standing outside their cars talking. The car beside us, the woman was wheelchair bound, they had their little dog.........I kept thinking of all those people stranded in the heat......old, sick,
children........I know this was totally unexpected, but our state has evacuation plans for hurricanes, nuclear
disasters, tornadoes.......looks as though maybe someone might think about bringing in some water for traffic disasters in Alabama heat.
Sorry for the rant, but you know that is life sometimes difficult for all of us, my transformation information for you all tonight...... if you are driving through Alabama in the summer.......make sure you have a cooler with water for you and your pets.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Fourth of July
It has been a really fun evening......I cooked my infamous ribs, fresh corn and potatoes, slaw and cheese toast.
Samantha bought enough fireworks to light up our little world...........her mom made peach cobbler......and her dad, and her boyfriend Courtney did the fireworks.
Jordan was beside himself.......His favorite foods, the people he loves, and FIREWORKS! He had a large time.
I am exhausted.......but it was all worth it. As most countries go, we are very young......still wet behind the ears. We have a long way to go, but I am really glad we celebrate this day. Freedom is worth the price, worth the sacrifice and to all those who have paid it....... thank you.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
All That There Is
"In all of our lives there is a great danger in believing that who we are, where we are, and what we have is all that there is." -Matthew Kelly
Because of teaching yoga at an addiction center, I see this quote in action almost daily. We become so attached to the image in our minds of who and what we are, that we wipe out or go into a tailspin when that image is gone.
Some think that spending time at a rehab center is the worst thing that can happen to them, others fear the loss of their careers or families..........I try to teach through yoga, that when the slate is wiped clean and the pain is unbearable, new birth takes place......some are brave enough to embrace that thought.....others cling
to their old beliefs, fearing the worst.
Who we are, where we are, and what we have.......that can change in the blink of an eye, the taking of a breath. What matters is that essence, our very being, our heart and soul.......those remain intact.
We really are not what we do, we are not our possessions, we are not our address........we are not careers.
I believe we are.......living beings that are connected to each other, meant to serve and help, to enjoy this incredible planet we live on, to learn as much as we can and share all that we can, to laugh and love, to cry and move forward, to know that if we took our last breath tonight.......our life, our breath would not have been wasted.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams
Monday, July 2, 2012
Happy Flower
The trees, flowers, grass, every living thing seemed to rejoice after the rain began to fall.
I think this rose of sharon is one happy flower.......loving every rain drop that fell.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Twenty-Four Hours
There is still twenty-four hours in a day. We have more "labor saving" devices than ever before.
Where does our time go? We all seem to be in a frenzy, a daily rush.........it is a sort of addiction.
We appear to thrive on chaos, to take great pride in talking about how little time we have, how busy we are.
There is still twenty-four hours in a day. We make the choices, push, we fill our agendas, and over schedule.
We do more and more to achieve less and less........it makes no sense.
There is still twenty-four hours in a day. The sun comes up, the sun goes down. The body needs, food and water and movement and rest, and fresh air and sunshine. How can we deny ourselves our basic needs?
There is still twenty-four hours in a day. Time with those we love, time spent doing what we love.......that is how you get more hours in the day......more bang for your bucks.
There is still twenty-four hours in a day. The world won't stop if the house doesn't get cleaned, laundry done, kids to soccer practice, a fourteen hour work day.......but it will stop, if you lose your health, your family and friends, you lose yourself.
There is still twenty-four hours in a day. A perfect balance, the moon and stars, the sun, the wind and rain, light and dark........it's what we choose to do with those twenty-fours hours, how we live them, how we spend them.......twenty-four hours in a day.......since the beginning of time........it's still the same, twenty-four hours in a day.
Where does our time go? We all seem to be in a frenzy, a daily rush.........it is a sort of addiction.
We appear to thrive on chaos, to take great pride in talking about how little time we have, how busy we are.
There is still twenty-four hours in a day. We make the choices, push, we fill our agendas, and over schedule.
We do more and more to achieve less and less........it makes no sense.
There is still twenty-four hours in a day. The sun comes up, the sun goes down. The body needs, food and water and movement and rest, and fresh air and sunshine. How can we deny ourselves our basic needs?
There is still twenty-four hours in a day. Time with those we love, time spent doing what we love.......that is how you get more hours in the day......more bang for your bucks.
There is still twenty-four hours in a day. The world won't stop if the house doesn't get cleaned, laundry done, kids to soccer practice, a fourteen hour work day.......but it will stop, if you lose your health, your family and friends, you lose yourself.
There is still twenty-four hours in a day. A perfect balance, the moon and stars, the sun, the wind and rain, light and dark........it's what we choose to do with those twenty-fours hours, how we live them, how we spend them.......twenty-four hours in a day.......since the beginning of time........it's still the same, twenty-four hours in a day.
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