June 30

The last day of June 2014.......the year is half over.  Did the last six months just disappear in the blink of an eye?  This passing of time takes my breath away........I am trying to look at calendars and clocks less and less.  When you're young time seems to be an uphill journey, somewhere around age fifty the direction changed and now it is one slippery slide that goes faster and faster.

Tonight's class was all about alignment......tough class for my students, bringing the body into alignment......slow steady stillness, much concentration on the breath.  I think some of them might have said bad things about their teacher under their breaths. :)  For me, teaching this class is very energizing.   My students will let me know next Monday night on how their bodies felt about alignment.

For most this will be a short work week, for many, it is vacation........enjoy yourselves, safe travels and remember why we celebrate this holiday.
Goodnight sweet dreams.

Chicks

This is our second batch of baby chicks.......Calliou wants to herd them, Taz wants play with them.......I just love hearing them chirp.

They are at the really cute downy stage now, soon their feathers will develop and they get rather gnarly.  Their older siblings have been introduced to Zeus ( the rooster) and his hens.......so far nothing traumatic has happened.

It is Jordan and his mom's job to name them.......Samantha wants to name them after characters in Game of Thrones......Jordan prefers names such as Stripes, Brownie.....so far, no names yet.

Sunday night......ready for classes on Monday, not ready for treatment on Wednesday.

RIP Perry

"We are all prone to behave as if our friends are as enduring as the stability they contribute to our uncertain lives.  The death of one punches a hole in that delusion. It leaves us clinging, for a time, to our protective bubbles, staring off into the void, until other friends rally to patch the communal leak."  - Perry Guthrie

We said goodbye to our friend Perry today.  He died unexpectedly this week during a procedure, that I suppose many would think was routine.  He was brilliant and funny and kind. His death has left a hole.  These past few months our community of friends has had many leaks......I'm ready for them to cease for awhile.
RIP Perry.

Different Paths

"We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel
that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path."  - Paulo Coelho

I love Coelho's writings, he is one of my favorite authors.  His wisdom and truths are threaded throughout beautifully written stories and parables.  I thought of this quote tonight as I overheard a conversation between two apparently religious people judging another from a different path.......I suppose this judging of those who are different will go on forever.......a world without judgement, wouldn't it be wonderful?  Someday, maybe all these paths we are on will cross and we will all see, the destination was the same.....we just took different paths.

Summer

The monsoons keep coming.......pouring rains, hot humid days......clouds that seem to billow up in the blink of an eye.  It has been a while since we have had a rainy summer.....this one is turning out to be a doozie.  On the days when the sun appears, you know how a lobster feels in that steamy pot.

But everything is lush....and green.  Not so many flowers, but green, all shades of green.....moss, grass, leaves, mold.  I am thankful for our screen porch......with its ceiling fan and tin roof, it is the perfect place to be on rainy sultry days.

Lemonade has been the drink of choice, and blueberries with creamy vanilla ice cream the perfect dessert.  It's funny how particular foods fit the season.

This summer is moving faster than any I can remember.......4 of July is a week away.  Jordan came over this evening to catch lightening bugs........he loves bugs and critters of all kinds.  He is young enough to think that the summer lasts a long time........I wish it still did.

Tomorrow is Friday, enjoy your weekend and if this is the start of your vacation.......enjoy every moment! 

Human Connection

Writing songs, performing, teaching yoga.......there are so many common threads in what I do.
All involve emotion, connecting, and communication.......all involve a tremendous amount of energy.
Last night we played a wonderful gig in Montgomery, Al......at the end of the show a gentleman came up to me with tears in his eyes and tried to talk to me about one of the songs that we performed......his words would not come out.

We got an e-mail from him this morning......and in the e-mail, he expressed what he could not say last night.....how much our song, " I Consider You Home" meant to him.  He had experienced tragic loss, and the song came about because of loss......our honesty in song, connected with him......it gave him hope.  That is not the first time, someone has come up to us at a show and talked about the connection they feel with our songs.  I hear the same things when I teach a yoga class.

When you know what you are doing touches hearts,  you know you are on the right track.....you know you are  on the right path.  Many years ago, we thought our music might bring us fame and fortune.....now we know, it has brought us something so much better.....human connection.
Last night at the end of the show, we got a standing ovation........I'm not sure a million dollar check would have made us feel any better.

Hurry Up and Wait

Playing music is often hurry up and wait......wait for the stage to be set up, wait for sound check,......and then wait to perform.
When we played Cloverdale Playhouse, after the sound check, waiting for the gig to start, we ate pizza.......it was great pizza.......and it was a great gig.......wow, what a gig......the kind you dream about.

Chronic Pain

Yoga classes for chronic pain today.......changes in the weather do affect our bodies.  Everyone was hurting today.......systems coming through, pressure drops and our bodies let us know......we are all weathermen.

Yes, even the teacher deals with pain......very gentle slow stretches......easy breath work.....everyone feels better.  A cup of hot ginger tea, or licorice tea does the body good......warm soak with Epson salts.  Pain might not dissipate completely, but it does get better.

Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Tomorrow

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson


Tomorrow is a new day.  Sleep well tonight, let it all go, some things are over, some will still be there tomorrow.  Will any of it matter five years from now?
Wishing you a Monday that brings a new week of good things, smiling faces and happy places.

Happy Summer Solstice

Another picture from last night......another fun gig today.
Happy Summer Solstice!  I hope your weekend has been all that a summer's weekend should be.

Street Music

We played a fund raiser for a women's recovery house tonight......this gives new meaning to street music.
Another gig tomorrow, time for rest.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Abundance

Abundance, we hear that word and many of us think about money.......true abundance is so much more than money.  Abundance is friends, who are there when you need them.  It is always having enough food and a roof over your head.  It is good health.  It is work that you enjoy.  It is serving others. It is family, who love you and respect you.  It is knowing that gratitude brings joy and that letting go of guilt changes your life.  Abundance is sharing your talents.  It is treating everyone you meet with kindness.  Abundance is never expecting a thank you, yet being gracious when one is given.
Abundance is living the Golden Rule.  Abundance is sharing the wealth, helping those who need help.
Some of the poorest people on earth live an abundant life.  Some of the wealthiest are the poorest when it comes to abundance.  This might not be Webster's definition of abundance......but it is mine.

My wish for all of you this Thursday night........an abundant life for all.

Productive Day

Wednesday, hump day, off day.........productive day.  Two gigs this weekend, so practice came first.
Next came more nesting for the house, I had bought a new comforter set for our bed a year ago.......I finally got it on the bed today.  Taz the Yorkie has been looking rather nappy, so I cut her hair today.
I picked our first jalapeno peppers today, they are gigantic!  You can smell the heat.

Not sure what has changed, but for the first time in almost three years I have energy.......not every day, but at least a few days a week.  I am so grateful......maybe my change in attitude had something to do with it.  The past few years, I had been so sick.......I let the illness dictate my life in many ways....... a few months ago, I thought screw this......I feel bad, I feel bad whether I do anything or not.....I might as well do something.  Yes I know, tomorrow, the lungs could be just as they were before......but for now, I am grateful.  It's not as though I'm running marathons, but at least now there are spurts of the old me that appear.

I still take naps.....daily......I have learned a few lessons along the way......and for me to maintain any energy after lunch, I have to rest for 30 minutes or so.  You know, you do what you have to.  I am thinking of my sister and her two daughters tonight.....they are on a cruise ship this week.  We went with them last year.  I miss them, especially my sister......I talk with her every day.  Our phone calls will be twice as long when she gets home.

So this productive day has worn me out.   My beautiful new bedding calls me......
Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Night Terrors

Bad dreams.......happen to most of us at one time or another.....and for most of us, we wake up, realize it was just a dream and go back to sleep.  For combat soldiers......bad dreams are a repeat of reality that seems to rob them forever of a peaceful sleep.  Sometimes in relaxation, some of my military students fall asleep......and often the worst happens, the night terrors begin.  I know what to do, and how to handle the situation, but  if there are civilian students in the class they don't....and they get a little fearful.

It happened today.......I sat by the young man, said and did what I needed to do and allowed him to wake slowly.  Night terror sleep is deep, and not restful, the student and I talked for a long time after he awoke.  I reminded him that though his dreams were based on reality and life experience, he had to remind himself that the dreams were manifestations of his memories......if he could tell himself, the dreams were memories and  no longer reality,  hopefully the brain would begin to let go of the terrors.
I have bad dreams sometimes, actually had them last night......but I don't have PTSD, and I don't have night terrors......and even for me, a bad dream can sometimes seem like my reality.  I know that for those who have experienced combat, these dreams can last a life time.

Some days, all I can do is offer a hug, tell them I love them and let them talk if they wish.  These are the days that I feel small, and inadequate......these are the days that I wish those who made decisions to send young men and women to war.......had to send themselves and their children first. Maybe then,  wars would not be entered into so lightly.....actually, I bet if those who live in  ivory towers had to send themselves and their children first, wars would be few and far between and short lived.

Desiderata

I give out copies of this to my students, I thought you all might enjoy this tonight.....it is full of wisdom and truth.  I have this so many times and quoted it through the years.

DesiderataGo placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. © Max Ehrmann 1927

June 15

Blue skies, two days in  a row.......what a gift, after a couple of weeks of rain and clouds. Today is Father's Day, FB has been covered with photos and reminiscences of dads.  If you are a dad, I hope you spent time with your kids and family today and that good memories were made. 

If you are a kid, I hope you got to spend time with your dad, whoever he might be.  ( some dads are grandfathers, uncles or someone who is there for you, no matter what.)  If you are like me, and all you have at this point are memories......I hope they are good ones.  Happy Father's Day to all you dads.

I hope your Monday flows easy, that your work week has no bumps and that each day life treats you kind. Today is June 15, 2014 is almost half gone......just a thought.

Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Good Things

So the moon gods smiled upon us last night, the clouds parted and the Friday 13th full moon appeared.......it was quite beautiful.  Not only did the moon gods smile down on us, but the sun gods did also......we had sunshine and blue skies today, a beautiful warm June day.  After the 12 inches of rain we had this week, today's sunshine was welcome with gratitude and joy.

The nesting urges have continued......Rick and I have been sprucing up the house and the gardens.
But my most joyful moment this week......the gardenias have bloomed!   There are vases filled with those pure white blossoms throughout the house.....the sweet spicy fragrance fills each room.
It is never quite summer until the gardenias bloom no matter how warm the temperatures or how high the humidity.

I hope your Saturday has been filled with all those things you love, and the people that you love.....
enjoy the full moon, and all things beautiful this weekend.......June is half over.....spring is almost gone and summer is just around the corner.  Good things are everywhere.

Friday 13

Friday 13th and a full moon........there must be some really good energy , because I have felt better today than I have in the past few weeks.  The moon was beautiful last night, but the clouds came back this morning and we will be lucky to see the moon tonight.

I finally got the kitchen painted today........it has taken me days.  I can remember when I could have painted it in half a day.  Our kitchen is very small, but my energy levels have been very low.  The house has not been spruced up in fifteen years.......it is time for serious spruce up.  Who knows how long it will take to paint the great room and the bedrooms........but, slowly I will get it done.
How I miss those days when I could do anything and everything......at least I can still do something.

Father's Day weekend.......23 three years have passed since my dad died......and I still miss him.
Wishing you all a weekend of summer fun.

Anxiety

Today's classes were how to use yoga to help with anxiety......once again, breath work is everything.....but, it's the exhalation.  If you have ever experienced anxiety, or stress or worry you know it is difficult to take a deep breath.  Don't fret, concentrate on the exhalation more than the inhalation.  Think about keeping the exhalation controlled, that will help to bring calm to the nervous system.  Slow controlled exhale, will lower the heart rate and the respiratory rate as well.

We did simple basic asanas, things like seated simple twist, an assisted modified tree, legs against the wall and supported fish......all with slow gentle breaths and controlled slow exhales.  We did breath work with folded blankets held against the chest or tummy for comfort and  assurance.

Many of the students had grief counseling yesterday,  the anxiety and drained emotions  were almost unbearable for them today.  This simple class with its breath work and easy poses was just what they needed  today.  I love it when students get up from relaxation with smiles on their faces.

Tomorrow is Friday, more rain for us......I hope the sun is shinning as bright as the full moon is tonight for all of you.

Dog Lessons

Our collie, Calliou, is afraid of storms.....and we have had so many thunderstorms the past week, he is even more neurotic than usual.  He has become so clingy and needy.  We pet him, reassure him and stay calm during the storms......nothing is working.  Of course, this same dog was attacked by a raccoon about three weeks ago.....he has become quite paranoid.

Living in the woods is not for the faint of heart, human or animal.  You become aware of the food chain at its most basic.  For example, we have hawks and owls so we keep an eye on Taz the Yorkie whenever she is outside. Rick once saw an owl take down a neighbor's cat......Taz is smaller than a cat.  Through the years, we have lost many chickens to hawks, owls and other critters.  It is just part of life in the country.  You do what you can to protect, but you are not always successful.

Calliou outweighs Taz by 75 pounds or so.......Calliou is afraid of his shadow.....Taz is not afraid of anything. This is the first time ever that we have had two thoroughbreds  at once, usually our dogs are mutts.....life with thoroughbreds is much different than with mutts.  We are all learning from each other daily.  In a few months, Rick and I might need to be rescued.

Goodnight, Sweet dreams

True Yoga

"True Yoga is not about the shape of your body but the shape of your life.  Yoga is not to be performed. Yoga is to be lived. Yoga doesn't care about what you have been. Yoga cares about the person you are becoming. Yoga is designed for a vast and profound purpose and for it to be truly called yoga, its essence must be embodied."  - Aadil Palkhivala

I gave that quote to all my students yesterday.  I hear students say they are not flexible enough to do yoga.  They worry about how they look, and what they can't do.  So many think that yoga is just some form of exercise or some strange religion......it is neither.
Though there is movement in the poses and some religions have embraced it.  For me, yoga has taught me to let go of judgments, 
to take care of my body, my home, and the earth, all that is around me.  Yoga has taught me that kindness is most important, that how I treat my fellow man is how I will be treated.  Yoga has helped me to maintain a semblance of health while dealing with chronic illness, to eat healthy, to enjoy the sunshine, fresh air and clean water. Yoga has taught me to live now, to learn from my past and understand that I might not have a future. Through yoga, I found the peace that was always there......and I found joy in gratitude. 

Stormy Monday

My students welcomed me back today with hugs and smiles.......they missed me last week while I was off with treatment stuff.   I missed them too.  It is much more fun teaching yoga than sitting in a chair for 6 hours hooked to a drip.

This post will be short tonight.....we are under a tornado watch, and there is a line of severe weather coming at us. In the past three days, we have had almost seven inches of rain......and the lightening has been blinding.  Our crops are doing so well, but if this rain keeps up, they will float away.

Keeping our fingers crossed and prayers said, that the storms will fizzle out soon......
Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Envy and Regrets

Rarely am I envious of anyone or anything.......but......when I hear people talk about their travels or trips they will soon be taking......I am envious.  From a very early age I dreamed of traveling....of far away places like Australia, and India, of Egypt and Paris, of England......I dreamed about seeing places near and far.  I thought that as I grew older, all of those traveling adventures would come to pass......and I have seen a fair amount of places in this country and I have been to Ireland, Canada and Mexico.  Rick's family had a reunion today, and his cousin talked about her travels, how much her daughters loved getting their passports stamped, of the trips they had planned.

There was a part of me that was thrilled that she and her family got to see so many places, but there was a place in my heart that sank like a stone......and envy wrapped me in cold green blanket. All I could do was stand and smile and wish her happy travels.  I talked about traveling so much as I was growing up, my dad nicknamed me Gypsy.  I think many times he wished that he could afford to send me on those trips I dreamed about, the places that he and I talked about visiting.

I think about the quote that I posted a few weeks back, about regrets........that it was not the things that we did that we regretted, it was those things we didn't do.  Rarely am I envious, rarely do I think about regrets.....but tonight I think about my regrets, and all those places I never visited.

Happy Birthday Daisy

A couple of months ago, we were at my nephew James' house and I ask his little girl Daisy  what she would like for her birthday this month ( she turned 7 today).   Daisy told me she wanted a bikini.....her mom and dad gasped.  Daisy is a smart little girl, she knew the one person in the family who would buy her a bikini would be Aunt Jilda.  Yep, for Daisy's birthday today, she got a sweet little pink eyelet dress and you guessed it....... a bikini.  She was a happy child.

It was just a small family party, with her cousins slipping and sliding on the slippery slide. Giggles rang out across the neighborhood......nothing like a watery slide and freshly mowed grass to make kids happy.  Throw in a pizza and a few juice boxes.......you have a party.  I know there are people who spend untold dollars for their children's birthday party, but I can promise you......none of them had more fun than Daisy and her cousins did today.  Jordan had reminded me every day this week, "don't forget Daisy's party, don't forget to buy her a gift."

So that is how I spent my Saturday, on a deck, eating cold pizza, watching a bunch of little kids have a great time.  I had a great time too.  Happy Birthday Daisy.

Talk About Your Joys

" Talking about our problems has become our greatest addiction.
Break the habit, talk about your joys."   - Rita Schiano

A friend shared this quote with me today.  I love it.  It seems that there are many of us that dwell on our problems, forgetting that there is always joy in our lives.  We sometimes have to look for it.
Sometimes we have to choose joy.  It is easy to let our problems become quick sand in our lives, to dwell on them until we can see nothing else and we sink into the mire that we created.

Just for tomorrow, talk to no one about your problems.  Just for tomorrow, talk about your joys.......see what happens.

A Singer's Singer

I have watched the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame show twice in the past few days........all the musicians that were inducted were awesome (they should be to be inducted) but I watched because my vocal hero, Linda Ronstadt was inducted.

I listened to her from the very beginning with The Stone Ponies, one of my top five most loved songs is one that she recorded.......Long,Long Time.  I loved Linda Ronstadt because she put her heart  into every song she sang, I loved her because you could understand every word she sang, I loved her because she was the girl I wanted to be.  I loved her because there was substance to her voice.  Each time I heard her sing, I felt her power and confidence.

I had Heart Like A Wheel on vinyl.......I wore it out.   I had it on a cassette tape, .......I wore it out.

I saw her open for Neil Young in Tuscaloosa.  She came out on that stage barefoot......and with the first song, she held the audience in the palm of her hand.  Probably most in that audience came to hear Neil Young, and he was great......but honestly, I went to see and hear Linda.

It broke my heart when I heard a few months ago that she could no longer sing........as a singer myself, I felt agony and remorse for her.  I cannot imagine having that voice and never being able to use it again.......that must the most cruel joke ever played on a human.  I feel sorry for those who never heard her live.  Having Parkinson's must be like a sentence in hell for anyone, but when I think about her voice and the fact that she will never sing again.......that is true sadness.

So, if you never listened to her, or never had the opportunity to see her.......check her out on U TUBE.
She did every thing from country, to rock to Broadway.  She is a singer's singer.


 

Treatment #30

Treatment # 30........some days are just blurs, others imprinted on my brain......the infusion room is an other worldly place full of every emotion you can imagine.  For those who only come for a yearly infusion or maybe to be treated for dehydration, they seem a little confused by the camaraderie of the old timers like myself and Louis.  Laughter is important in those big green chairs, tears are a given,
hugs are greatly appreciated.

Kindness overcomes the fear that is often felt in those big green chairs......that's why I love our nurses so much.  No matter how harried, how busy they are........there is always kindness.  I pray for those nurses way more than myself.......they are the glue that keeps us together, the glue that holds hope in our hearts.

The green chairs were busy today, as soon as one emptied, it was filled......illness is big business.
I wish we could do away with that word illness,  and replace it with wellness.  Wellness, that is what we strive for, that is what we all want.  Wellness.....it rolls off the tip  of the tongue so easily, while
illness sticks in the back of the throat.

Taz and Calliou know when it is treatment day......Calliou won't leave my side, Taz takes awhile to warm up, to welcome me back home.....and then she doesn't leave me.

I missed being outside today......it was warm and sunny ( we have had rain almost daily for over a week).  This evening before sunset, we did walk down to the garden and I picked blueberries sweet and tart, eating as many as I put in the basket......#30 a lot of treatment, a long time, a game changer for ever.

Pieces of Life

A day to sort things out.......I have decided that I have some personal belongings that I would like to pass on to some of my nieces now.....so that I can delight in their joy of receiving.....rather than wait for the grim reaper to appear and have things that meant something to me tossed aside.

I actually started this little project last year, giving away some of my beloved vintage jewelry pieces, that will continue also.  It's not that I am planning on leaving the universe any time soon, but
futures are unpredictable and while I have today, I should make the most of it, right?

As I have gone through some of my china, and kitchen wares, a tea pot collection and assorted
pieces of pottery, it has been a day of reflection and memories of where each piece came from and who, and where each piece is going.  I have loved each piece, and I hope as I pass these things on,
they will continue to be loved.  Next will be my cookbook collection, that will be a hard one to go through......I so love my cookbooks.

Letting go of pieces of one's life is difficult and strange.......but I have my memories and I hope that these pieces will continue their memory path with their new owners.  This has been a transformation with many layers.

Fun With Sugar Sprinkles

I am taking this week off......just needed a little break, and then of course there is treatment Wednesday.  Jordan spent the day with us......a first for him, a visit to Home Depot......six years old, and you could see the magic of Home Depot fill his eyes.  He kept pointing to tools, saying things like...."uncle Rick and Poppa Rick need these."

After the trip to Home Depot with Jordan and Rick, I felt the need to lower the testosterone level in the house so I made cupcakes.  Jordan LOVES to sprinkle sugar sprinkles on cookies and cupcakes, and we always get a little wild and crazy. You can see how much fun he was having in the picture.

I needed today......I still get antsy about treatments, and this will be number 30.  It helps to do fun things before them.

June 1

June 1.......almost summer, the longest day of the year

June 1......Father's Day, I still miss my dad so much, even after 23 years

June 1.....summer thunder storms, monsoon rains, lightening in all its splendor

June 1.....June bugs, fire flies, dragon flies, butterflies

June 1.....gardenias, daisies, snapdragons, day lilies

June 1.....fresh tomatoes, corn, watermelons, blueberries and blackberries

June 1.....heat and humidity build, Alabama saunas

June 1.....treatment #30

June 1..... home made ice cream

June 1......coffee on the porch every morning

June 1.....the best of the hot months in Alabama, July and August can be almost unbearable

June 1....nights smell of honeysuckle

June 1.....half of 2014 will soon be gone