Sunday, September 26, 2010

Alive and Awake

For the past few days, I have felt more alive than I have in a long time. Actually it began when we went to Telluride. That was the first vacation for Rick and I in almost 7 years. I was the walking dead. Sure we had taken trips, but they always involved work of some sort. Telluride was the vacation I had dreamed about for a long place to go, nothing I had to do. Just fresh air,
friends, music, great food, and mother nature. That's when I began to feel the change, it was like waking up from a long sleep, to be truthful, it started even a few weeks before we left. I began to rethink what I wanted, I started to connect with new and old friends, and realized it was important to pursue what was important to me.

I reached a point where I was willing to release and let go, and not be afraid to think about what I wanted and not put a million other things in front of me.
Telluride was the catalyst, and my path has definitely changed since then.
This past weekend, spending time with old friends, reconnecting and putting works into motion it all feels so good. Life is beginning to feel like it did a long time ago, possibilities are appearing and lots of cobwebs are being swept down.

There were many things along the way the past several years that had sucked the life out of me.
And I think at some point, I grew too tired to fight it, so I just allowed myself to just float.
So many of the things that had been important to me, had just fallen by the wayside.
But I have realized it takes some effort but not nearly as much as I had feared to wake up and live.
I believe in myself again, I believe in my dreams. I will always give, I will always serve, but now
some of that giving will be to myself. It is so easy to lose sight of one's path, so easy to drift along. It is scary how easy it is to lose confidence in yourself, and lose faith in your own vision.
Life is full of obstacles and detours, and many of those bring magic, but sometimes there's so many of them, we lose our way. Every once in awhile, it's important to sit down and truly see where we are, what we are doing and where we are going.

Sometimes, we do have to pinch ourselves to make sure we are alive, we are awake! Yes the pinch hurts, but the pain doesn't last long. So if you find that you have allowed your self to be lulled into some sort of sleep of the walking dead, give your self a pinch. Wake up, it's great to be alive!


  1. I'm so happy for you that your life has taken a turn for the better.

  2. Routine is a good thing in that is means we don't have to work so hard to accomplish what we need to meet our responsibilities. But taking yourself out of routine is also good.

    I'm glad ya'all got a chance for time away together!

  3. Jilda, I guess it was just meant for me to read this tonight..It hits too close to home. I too, get lost in what was and it's hard to get back to what is..Thanks for the pinch..I really feel you as a true friend, although we don't see each other regularly, I know if I need you, you will be there..Love you girl and keep blogging.