Wednesday, February 8, 2017


Today was me time.  I left work this morning and went straight to the hair salon.  A couple of hours later, a hair cut, some highlights and a new spring in my step.  What is it about a woman's hair?

I happened by accident to watch the last part of a tv show tonight I had not seen in ages, "What Not to Wear."  The woman who had consented to the make-over was from Texas.  I worked in Texas for around 12 years and she was very typical of many of the women I saw around the Dallas area when I was there.  Big, long, blonde hair, low cut shirt, flashy jewelry, heavy make-up, but this woman on the show had gone through a divorce, had a job and was looking for someone to date.  She agreed to the make-over and took the $5,000 dollar check.

I saw the end of the show, her clothing was so much more sophisticated, make-up was softened and hair was cut.  She looked 15 years younger.  She was not happy.  She hated her hair.
They asked her to live with the look for a few weeks.  At the end, she went to a salon, had hair extensions put in and looked the same as she did before the make-over.  It was interesting to watch this show.

Years ago I worked for a major make-up company as a traveling make-up artist.  The woman that was on the show, I had met hundreds like her when I was doing make-up.  We get stuck in ruts.  We have a look that worked for us when we were 25 or when we were happy, or when we were thin or married.  We cling to that hair style or clothing or make-up way after it is no longer appropriate or relevant.  Change is scary and we think we want it, but really all we want is to hold on to that magic that we experienced when the look we have worked so well for us.

I had long flowing hair when I was young.  It suited me.  But my hair was not me.  As the years went by, I changed.  My hair has been chopped to within an inch of my scalp, it has been dark, permed, etc.
Sometimes I have loved it, and there have been times that I too cried about the hair I saw in the mirror.  But my mantra was, it's just hair it will grow back.

Friends who have lost their hair because of disease or treatment have told me that it was devastating, to see themselves without their hair.  I understand.  Most of us (women) see our hair as an extension of who we are.  I know that when I have a good hair day, life rocks.  When I think my hair is crappy,
my self-esteem drops.  I envy the women who shave their heads, throw on some red lipstick and walk out the door glowing.  This attachment to hair is nothing new and I think women will deal with it for a very long time.  Hair is a security blanket for many of us.  For those of you who have let go of that attachment, let me know how you did it.


  1. I am not a person who pays much attention to the way I look. That being said I am vain about my hair and eyebrows. I will be 70 this year and there is a little gray in my hair but I was blessed with good genes and don't have to color it. My eyebrows are a little wild at times but there is a natural arch that suits my face. So as you can see I still have the attachment.

  2. Interesting post this morning.
    I lost my hair when I went through chemo. I was told that I will probably die of cancer so when I got up one morning and saw my pillow full of hair. I grabbed a handful and sat up in bed and looked at myself in the mirror facing the bed.
    I said aloud, "This is my reality, I'll deal with it"
    I got my Tai Chi instructor to shave my head and I decided that I had nothing to be ashamed of. She shaved hers in support.

    My reality was that I was going bald and I would not hide what I didn't have under a piece of cloth or a wig... I only wore a hat to protect my head from the cold on very cold days... Inside I went bald head. It was amazingly freeing to accept the way I was. I surrendered to what I couldn't change.

    My hair grew back kind of curly. I cut my own hair. I haven't wore makeup in years. Maybe I feel too busy. haha.

    Enjoy your new haircut.
    Hugs, Julia

  3. Excellent. change does not come easily, esp. for someone locked in the Texas look all her life. Change does not come easily at all for some people.

  4. I too have had my hair every length and style but never changed the color until the color had a mind of its own! I keep my hair lighter than the black I was born with but not ready to go all grey. My Mom did around my age and I remember how she tried to go and color it blond and finally decided white was the way it was going to be and it's beautiful even at 90! I have worn makeup since I was 16 but of course have changed it to go with my age. I would love to grow my hair out but wearing a cap in surgery makes it easier to stay short. We'll see what the future holds for my hair but I love my hairdresser and enjoy the day I does make you feel better!