Sunday, July 26, 2020

You Don't

Tonight I made myself a cup of hot tea.  The first I have had since Rick passed.  It was such a simple ritual, one we did nightly, drinking a cup of hot herbal tea before bed.  His favorite was honey lavender and I would sometimes have red zinger, or rose or maybe peppermint.   
Tonight it seemed that hot cup of tea was calling my name, wanting my hands to embrace the mug and let it's warmth soothe my soul.

My life changed on July 16 and every day the ways it has changed add up.  To say I miss him, that only skims the surface.  I am rather lost right now.  Covid 19 changed normal for most of us, but this has erased my normal forever.  These days I am trying to create some ritual of living that makes sense to my broken heart.

I know all you blog followers loved him.  You loved his pictures, his words, his human kindness.
He loved you all as well.  He would spend hours sometimes just reading and catching up on your blogs.   I confess, I have not been that diligent and I will do better, just give me time.

Take care of yourselves, be kind to each other.  No matter how many years you live, life is short.
One of my favorite quotes I have used on my board at work for years, " you think you have time, but you don't."  I have found out the truth of those words.

Stay well, wear your masks,  and above all be kind.  I will write again soon.


  1. Sending You Love Jilda. You and Rick were part of my every day and were such kind and loving blogging friends. Thank you so much for continuing to share. Rick's daily sharing of what he was doing, thoughts he shared of the past, photos he took on the way home or something beautiful that caught his eye at some time in the past or that day, the love he had for his family, learning something new, sharing the music you both shared. He lived fully and I know Rick is so very missed. Rick's smile that was warm and kind and the twinkle in his eyes will be remembered always.
    Love, Hugs

  2. Please remember that through Rick we all love you as well. Take the time you need to grieve. Remember all those good times and regret any bad times. Talk about him often with others who also love him. And keep writing about Rick if you are moved to do so. We are here to listen because that is all we can be for now. Continued good wishes to you.

  3. Heartfelt hugs and oceans of caring are flowing your way.
    Take all the time you need - and be kind to yourself.

  4. I am glad your tea has warmed your soul and I know he is with you. I wish my mom was here because she lost her husband, my dad back in 1988 after being with each other almost 30 years. She told me she felt lost without him and her future was so uncertain but so changed forever. About 2 weeks after my dad died, she told me she had a dream where she woke up to go to the bathroom and, when she came back, she saw him sitting on his side of the bed looking back, smiling at her. She just looked and said, “Frank, you can’t be’re dead!”. He said, “I know, Ruth, but come and sit beside me.” My mom told me he patted the mattress beside him and she sat beside him and they talked and talked. She couldn’t remember about what but she felt so happy. When she woke, she was sad because it was a dream. I told her that maybe it wasn’t and to believe that he is always near and always speaking to her. Whatever your path, he is walking with you when you take a walk with the dogs, see the bees, flowers and listen to music, he is with you, always

  5. Yes, you're going to feel lost for some time, but God willing, you'll get the inner strength neccessary to face the new reality and go on with your life.
    Life is indeed short and one has to make oneself a priority. Work, hobbies, critters, garden are all secondary.

  6. It good to find your blog post in my bloglovin email this morning. I think of you and Rick often through the day.

    I'm glad that you are finding comfort in your little daily ritual of a simple cup of herbal tea.

    God always give us strength that we never knew we had, to bear the unbearable. You are going through a life changing event that is almost unbearable and with Covid-19 it makes everything even more difficult. My prayers and thoughts are with you. I'm so glad that you have the music you played together and all the videos. You will feel his presence even though he has passed over to the spiritual world that you can't see with your eyes. He will always be in your heart and a part of you.

    Like my daughter Nicole, rick was taken way too soon. Life is so short and I see that as I age.

    Hugs and love, Julia

  7. I have said it often. We have had each other over 60 years now. We KNOW one day we will experience what you are experiencing. One of us will have that hot tea alone. We have loved you thru Rick. YOU be safe. From your words, we will hold each other closer!
    Love from NC
    Sherry & jack

  8. Finding your new normal may take a while, but meanwhile you have your tea to fall back on. Enjoy it and the memories. They are what will keep you going. I miss the wise words your Rick had to share and his pictures. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Try to keep the good times in your heart and forget the bad times.

  9. Jilda, I'm glad you're writing your thoughts and feelings here and sharing them with us who love you and care about you. I don't even know what to say at this difficult time. So I will send good thoughts your way and big hugs from me to you.

  10. Thank you for your words today and I hope you know that we are with you as you travel this new pathway which is one we will all travel one day when we have shared our life with our loved one. Take care and hugs to you across the world.

  11. I have been thinking of you often Jilda. My heart hurts for you. I have been keeping you in my prayers. I pray some day you will find peace and understanding through all of this.
    Hugs, Lisa