Wednesday, July 22, 2020

Living the Dream

If anyone had told me that last Wednesday would have been my last day on this planet with Rick I would have laughed, and asked what the punch line was.
It has been a week, a second, a decade, a lifetime.  It has been hell, tears, pain.  It has been laughter and love and memories.
He had not felt well for some time.  And we would talk about his needing to see a doc, but he was so worried about me catching Covid 19, we kept putting it off.  The weekend before the heat and humidity was brutal and as always our to do list here on the farm was a long one.  On Saturday I think he might have suffered heat exhaustion or maybe heat stroke.  That night was a long one and on Sunday he still felt bad.  We used ice packs and lots of fluids.  On Monday he went to see our local urgent care doc.
He had a bad prostate infection, dehydration, but no evidence of virus showed up in the blood test.
We called our family doctor on Tuesday and made an appointment for Thursday to come in for tests and blood work.
On Wednesday he was better, we walked to the barn, checked on the bees and chickens, but we cut our walk short, the heat was getting to him.  We came home, he rested and I cooked lunch.
Lunch was one of his favorites, fresh corn, fried greed tomatoes and purple hull peas, and he ate better than he had in a few days.
That afternoon I cut his hair,  ( because our family doc has a beautiful NP and he didn't want her to think he was a shaggy old man) :)    He showered,  our nephew Haven called, and our friend Wes called.  By dinner he was not feeling as well and after a few bites  he wanted to study for  his upcoming Bee Masters exam.
We went to bed and he fell asleep.  Around midnight, he woke me up saying he couldn't breathe.
We got up and went to the couch.  Things got worse and I called 911, I began CPR.  The local first responders came and they took over, then the ambulance crew came and they took over.  After 40 minutes or so, he was carried to our hospital in Jasper and the doctor told me what I knew the moment I started CPR, he was no longer with us.
I am living in a cloud of shock.  Right now I am functioning on auto-pilot.
I have lost someone who has been in my life since I was 15 years old.  It has been a magical life, full of love, good times, music, travel, incredible friendships.  I have lived the dream with him.
If anyone ever asked how he was, his response was always the same "living the dream."
It was the truth.  We lived the dream.


  1. Thanks for this post, Jilda. I was in shock, and looking for some info on what had happened. So, I kept coming back to your blog hoping to see some words from you.

    I'm under the impression that perhaps, the visit to the doctor on Monday with the shot administered to him was not so helpful, to say the least.

    Anyway, may Rick's soul rest in peace! May God give you strength to cope with the situation!

  2. we've loved you from afar through Rick's description. It was obvious the love you guys share. WE also live the dream and KNOW from your experience and others around us that it willnot last forever, but live life until that day. YOu KNOW we KNOW Rick KNEW "LIFE GOES ON".
    Love and prayers,
    Sherry & jack

  3. Continued prayers for you, Jilda. That phrase, "loving the dream" -- I work at a busy hospital, and occasionally I hear that phrase and it is usually cynically spoken. You and Rick have shown us what living the dream means. You brought the dream to your life. I think it has something to do with attitude, caring, trust, and friendship. We can all say, "Be like Rick, live the dream." Thank you for your example of how we can live the dream.

  4. So thankful to see your post today and know that you are dong ok. I lost my husband the same way with a sudden heart attack some 20 years ago. We had started making our dreams but didn't live them, except for the wonderful family we had. So sorry for your loss. I was shocked to hear of it. You two did have a wonderful life together. and there can be no regrets in that. Love and hugs. xoxo

  5. Jilda, I'm so glad also that you posted today. It has been a big shock to all of us as well. We all admired his work ethics, his love of you and family, his music, his dogs and his bees. He was a good man and we will all miss him dearly. The world was a better place because of him.

    You will be on a roller coaster for some time like I was when I lost my beloved daughter but time has a way of easing the pain over time... He will leave a big hole in your life and in the life of everyone who knew him.

    I'm sure this must be a great sorrow and loss for Jordan also.

    May he rest in peace and may you get strength and consolation from loving family and friends.
    Stay safe and well.

    Hugs, Julia

  6. Please accept my condolences. Rick was a person whose personality showed in his writing. He was a warm and caring man. Most of all he loved you so passionately. I of course never met him but I will miss him so.

  7. Heartfelt hugs and oceans of caring are flowing your way.
    Rick had become very dear to me through his blog and I can only imagine the pain, the grief, the shock for you.

  8. Dear Jilda, I sure admire Rick and You for your skills and talents --writing, singing, building a loving life together. You have both brought much enjoyment into my life and the lives of others (via Blogger and YouTube). For this, I can never thank you enough. That you were able to write this post, through the inertia of a broken heart, is testament to your strength. My sincere condolences and admiration.

  9. I was so shocked and saddened when I heard about Rick. My heart goes out to you and Jordan and all who loved him. Thank you both for letting us come into your lives for a little while each day. You are both great teachers of love and kindness, for each other and all other living things. My sincere condolences to you and the family.

  10. Thank you for sharing a very personal part of your life. I felt I have known you both without ever having met you, but your warmth and kindness has shown in your blogs and you have become a part of my life. I will miss Rick's blog as he always shared his passion for life and family. I hope we will continue to hear from you as time goes on and when you are able to connect with us again. My love and thoughts are with you and your family.

  11. Jilda I have been reading Rick and your blogs for a while but never did comment. Yours were the last blogs I read every evening before turning off my computer and heading for bed. I enjoyed your positivity and Rick's beautiful pictures and thoughts. You and Rick have touched people you don't know and will never meet.

    My heart hurts for your loss. Hugs from Cheryl.

  12. Thank you for this post. I'm sure it was not easy to write. My thoughts this past week have been for you and your family. I know Rick touched the lives of so many people through his words and music. I will miss his daily writings and I hope you keep us updated on how you're doing. Even though we've never met I feel as if I know you through your blog and Rick's over the years. Again, my heartfelt condolences Jilda.

  13. My condolences to you. We have never met but I always enjoyed reading Life 101 and your blog. My heart goes out to you and thank you for updating to Rick's loyal readers. Such a loss . . you are in my thoughts

  14. I loved following his blog. His post would always make me smile. I can only imagine your pain and have been thinking about you a lot. You and your family are in my prayers.

  15. So much to have gone through and why? I don’t know but I hope you will be able to still enjoy the dream you have both lived and believed in.