Seize the Moment

The last day of February 2015........two months gone and it seems as if I have just taken a breath since December 31, 2014.  Seize the moment has become my mantra.....I find myself whispering  it over and over.  Days filled with snow and laughter and beauty and winter's peace.....seize the moment.
Stress over silly day to day stuff like a month old fridge quitting......seize the moment.  Two friends losing their moms suddenly in the span of two weeks.....seize the moment.

No matter how good or how bad I feel......seize the moment.  Hugs from great nephews today growing as I type these words.....seize the moment.  Weekly hello/goodbyes to students at work....seize the moment.  Seize the moment.....it's gone in the blink of an eye, in the exhalation of a breath.
Tell friends and family you love them......seize the moment.

On this Saturday night, the 28 of February........seize  the moment.

Stars and Space

I loved Star Trek......the original tv show......and Mr. Spock was my favorite.  I always thought he was science with a heart.  I was a part of that generation who thought space travel would be possible in my life time......that somewhere in those billions of stars, there would be other planets and universes with life.  A part of me thought that maybe, just maybe, someday......I would travel through space, from star to star.

Tonight I say goodbye to a childhood hero.
RIP Spock.....thanks for teaching  me there was logic and possibilities......have fun in the stars.

More Snow Pictures

Taz wanted her picture in the snow........last of the snow pics I promise......

Snow Dance

Finally.......just to prove that snow dancing works!  Right now there is about four inches, and it is still snowing.......Happy Dance, Snow Dance

Wild Life Antics

Interesting wild life in our yard the past few days......about a week ago, a white dove appeared in the early morning feeding frenzy at our feeders.  She has been back every morning since.
This morning, as I was drinking my last cup of coffee after Rick had left for work I saw dirt flying in the air under the huckleberry bush.  I was thinking that is some wacky squirrel......but as I continued to watch I realized an armadillo was excavating my front yard.  He was quite ambitious......the phone rang and after I came back into the great room, he was no where to be seen.......just the trench that he had been working on.

A big red headed woodpecker has laid claim to the persimmon tree, he marches straight up the trunk each day, tapping on the bark.  He loves suet.  He also has an ongoing grudge match with a bright blue jay.
The jay seems more interested in the corn we leave for the deer, but you can hear his grumblings when the woodpecker is around.

Each time I watch wild life I am amazed at how they all seem so human.  You see the personality
traits in the birds and squirrels, the deer and rabbits  and many times I see some of those same traits in friends and family members.  Some are shy, some very bossy and aggressive, some seem to be the life of the morning food fest, while others encourage and soothe.  I have named many of them......like the bright red cardinal who seems quite taken with himself and his colorful feathers.......I call him Ruby, after my mom.  There is a squirrel who is always the life of the morning food fest, energetic and full of life......his name is Sharky, after my dad.

Snow is on it's way, maybe six inches by tomorrow evening.  Looks as though the snow dance that Jordan and I did is finally working.  Pictures to come.
Goodnight Sweet dreams

 

Alabama Weather

Mother Nature keeps teasing, in the past couple of weeks we have had countless winter advisories.......
I left for work today with clouds gathering in the northwest......Rick sent me a text around 4:00pm and said our porches were icing, maybe I should start for home.  More snow and ice on the way and maybe a snow "event" by Wednesday.  ( 4-8 inches)

I know our friends in the colder climates must chuckle about my weather posts......but here in the south......we are never prepared for snow and /or ice.......now tornadoes and hurricanes, different story.
Snow and ice bring life here to a halt, schools close, roads close and always a run to the local Walmart for milk and bread.

So this week, we are having winter storm advisories and watches......March 1 brings on our tornado season and believe it or not, we have had tornadoes and the aftermath covered in snow.  I have many friends who can't wait for spring, but honestly, I am never in a hurry for spring.......I will take a winter storm watch over a tornado any day of the week.

If we have the snow event I will post pictures!
So tonight, stay warm and cozy, this week should be interesting.
goodnight, sweet dreams

What Matters Most

A quote for this Sunday night.....
" Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least."   - Goethe

I hope that what matters most in your life this week, will never be at the mercy of what matters least.

Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Saturday Night Thoughts

Last night when we went to  bed, there were six inch icicles hanging from the eves of our roof.......tonight it is pouring rain and the temps are in the fifties......probably more ice on tap for Monday......Alabama weather.....never never boring.

I shared a FB quote this morning that just tickled my funny bone......."sometimes my age is very inappropriate for my behavior."  I love that quote......I'm sure that on occasion when the neighbors see me climbing trees with Jordan they must think that very thought.

I hope your Saturday has been a good one, that there has been fun, some giggles and a hug or two
in your life today.  Wishing you a Sunday of peace.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams

A New Path

After I decided last week to stop the infusion treatments that I have been getting for the past three years, I felt a weight leave my body.  I had declared to all three doctors that three years of not only sitting in that green chair, but almost weekly bouts of aseptic meningitis had become so demoralizing I just could not do it any more.

Last Friday my immune doc called ( out of the three, he is the only who called)  he urged me to please reconsider, to not throw in the towel until I had tried one more thing. I promised that I would give it serious thought and Rick and I would discuss it.  I did a great deal of research on what he had suggested.  Monday morning I called his office and told him I would try one more thing.

This next series of treatments will be shots.  It seems that putting the stuff in the muscles does not have the side effects of sending it through your veins.  It will not be a rose garden,  and there is the possibility that I could still end up with meningitis or other side effects........time will tell.
Frankly, I am not thrilled about shots in my stomach, but they can be done at home.  He had mentioned the shots back in November, but he kept looking at me saying things, like you are so thin.

So sometime in the next week or so, I will go down a new  path......I am hopeful and optimistic......
I will keep you posted.  In the words of SNL Gilda R......."it's always something."

Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Begin Again

I am exhausted tonight and can't figure out why......sometimes there is no rhyme or reason to our bodies is there?

Today was a goodbye day at work.......there will be several in the next week.  It is the hardest part of the job.  Hellos are easy for me......goodbyes are tough.  But, I know that as each student leaves they are going back to a life that has possibilities and choices.  They are not going back to something easy......but they do have the opportunity to in some way,  start over.

Actually each of us has that opportunity each and every morning.....to start over.....with each sunrise, we can begin again.

Tomorrow is Friday.......the end of the work week for many......whatever your plans.....find gratitude, choose joy, and don't forget to breathe.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Blowing in the Wind

Rick had a meeting in downtown Birmingham today and since I didn't have classes to teach I went with him. The wind was straight out of the north and the temps were in the 30's.  After the meeting we were walking down the street to our car when a burst of wind moved me, almost picking me up.
I felt like Mary Poppins! I think if I had been wearing one of my long flowing skirts instead of leggings I might have been blown to Atlanta.  It gave new meaning to "Blowing in the Wind."

We are under a wind chill advisory and freeze warning tonight, single digits and another chance of snow and ice Friday.  I got an electronic update from the Farmer's Almanac this morning.......they are gloating.....they predicted this weather back in the fall ( actually their predictions are about two years in advance) while the government weather guys were saying MILD winter.

Hope you are someplace safe, warm and loved tonight.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Time

" The trouble is, you think you have time."  - Buddha
We all think we have time......time to do those things we dream about.....go the places we have always wanted to  go......spend time with those we love....and then we wake up one day and there is no time left.

Tonight, what ever you think you have time for......don't wait, don't think there's plenty of time......
you never know when time will stop for you or those around you.

Stay warm and cozy
Goodnight, Sweet dreams

What You're Missing

I had a new student in my last class today......he had done yoga before....he was at our facility for an evaluation and seemed very stressed.  He came in about 25 minutes early......it was obvious he needed to let go of some stress.  The class was small, the rain was pouring.....we did counting breath for five minutes, then proceeded with slow postures, really bringing awareness to our bodies.
We finished with about 20 minutes of savasana or relaxation.

As the young man left he told me how much he enjoyed the class.  I finished gathering my belongings, about to head out for my next class when I heard someone at the door. It was the young man, he looked at me for a moment and then he said......" people just don't know what they are missing."

I thought about his statement all the way home, people don't know what they are missing......learning to breathe, to meditate and really experience yoga is life changing.  You don't have to twist yourself into a pretzel to do yoga.....you don't have to be skinny or flexible or young.....anyone can do yoga, even if you are bed ridden.  I have taught young, old, sick, healthy.......and it is true....."people just don't know what they are missing."

Stay warm and cozy tonight, we have a black ice warning, snow for Wednesday and then again Friday......I knew that 70 degree day we had last week was just a tease.......Mother Nature has a wicked sense of humor.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Confession

I know we are in the midst of winter but starting to get the fever to write and perform......we usually don't book much December through February, but about this time we both feel the need to scratch the itch.  We have started our bookings and things are looking good for spring and summer, if possible I would like for us to double what we did last year.

We watched Begin Again tonight, a movie that we both love with Keira Knightley and Mark Ruffalo about a singer/songwriter and her producer.  Movies like this one and Once always get us motivated and ready to go.  We have never been successful enough to "quit our day gig" but as musicians that little dream is always at the back of your head, no matter your age.

As a singer/songwriter my bucket list is rather different, actually I have never written it down, but here goes........

1.  sing in front of thousands

2. tour the world performing

3. have our songs in movies

4. know that our songs touch people's lives

5. know that our songs make memories for people

6. get invited to perform with some of my music heroes ( like Paul Thorn, Kevin Welch, Jason Isbell, 

Christine Ohlman, ok, it's a long list, but it's mine.) 

So, there you have it......a Sunday night confession......my bucket list, never written down, but stored in my mind for many years, really more dream than list, but that is ok, dream big.
For our friends north of us, keep warm and safe.......I hope you get snow, not ice.

Training Wheels

Happy Valentine's Day!  I hope that your day has been full of love......and hopefully a little chocolate.
It has been a beautiful day here in the south, but we are now under a winter storm watch.....sadly, it may be more about ice than snow.  We shall see.....

Jordan rode his bike today without training wheels......his smile was brighter than the sunshine.
It was so much fun to watch him out in the field behind the house, his bike is a little large for him, stopping still has some rough spots, but you could see his confidence grow with each ride.

We all have times in our life when we take off the training wheels......it can be a new job, a relationship, a hobby......whatever, it is scary.......those first moments without the extra wheels
(support or comfort).....but what a rush when we know we can do it.

If you are ready to take the training wheels off some part of your life tonight......may you be fearless, may you feel the rush of confidence, may you know you can do it.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Friday the 13th

No post last night, yep, meningitis had its grip........I had no regrets about telling my doctors I wanted to stop treatments until today......my immune doc's  assistant called me and I could hear the worry and concern in her voice about my decision.  This is a rough path right now.

We had a wonderful day.....met our friend, Tom and Judy and Brenda and Danny for lunch at one of our favorite little restaurants, Black Rock Grill.  The food was wonderful, the company even better.

After lunch, we dropped off some of our cds at the local music store......they are featuring local artists.....and then I came home and made cupcakes.

The weather guys are at it again, teasing us with rumors of snow........maybe Jordan and I will get our snow dance right tomorrow.  We'll keep you posted.

I hope you all get a visit from Cupid tomorrow.  All in all, a good Friday the 13th.

Goodnight, Sweet dreams  

Now

Thank you all for your kind words, encouragement and prayers.......many of you have read my blog for a long time.......I feel as though you are family.  You have seen me on the roller coaster for the past three years and know that it has not been a pretty ride.

The facility that I work at is based on the 12 step program.......our foundation, one day at a time.
I truly believe that is how our lives can be lived to their fullest......one day at a time and one breath at a time.  I often teach that all we have is the now, this breath that we are taking right now.  The past is over, the future might not come.......we have now.

There have been some scary moments since I made the decision to stop treatments, doubts and questions......but each time, I try to take a breath and whisper, this too shall pass. I have now.....that is what's important.

Blessings to all of you tonight, for your support, encouragement and love.......I wish I could gather you all in my arms for a big hug.  Where ever you are tonight, I hope you are cozy and warm and loved.

I Am At Peace

For the past three years I have done IVIG infusions monthly, for the past three years I have had aseptic meningitis after each treatment.  For about two and a half years none of the doctors I saw thought that any of my symptoms were related to the treatments, though I adamantly told them over and over none of the symptoms started until after treatment started.

I began to research IVIV treatment, I read everything I could find and occasionally the term aseptic meningitis popped up, but my doctors kept looking outside the range of treatment side effects.  I saw and ENT, an audiologist, had an MRI of my sinus and brain , there were discussions of seeing a gastro, my eyes were checked........still each time, the doctors would tell me they really didn't know that much about IVIG.

Finally about a year ago, one of the hematologists suggested I had serum sickness from the treatment and he suggested we reduce the amount of IVIG I was getting.  It helped, but didn't make the horrible symptoms go away.  Then about six months ago, a friend of a friend put me in touch with Primary Immune Deficiency Foundation.  A light bulb went off, an Immunologist  was recommended, I saw him and he informed me that indeed I was dealing with aseptic meningitis because of the treatments.
I followed his suggestions, adding fluids with the infusions, slowing the drip again, changing the brand.......and still I deal with the meningitis.

This weekend after much thought, many prayers, and three years of misery I have made the decision to stop the IVIG.  I am that five percent whose tolerance to IVIG  is just not in the cards.  I have CVID, common variable immune deficiency......a blood disorder if you will, very little immunity to bacterial infections, viral infections and I have a chronic lung infection.   I have dealt with lung infections for most of my adult life and sinus infections too, a 24 hour bug can last for days in my system.    IVIG is considered the best treatment for primary immune efficiency, the next best thing will be what I have done for several years, antibiotic rotation, and something I didn't always do, common sense......staying out of crowds during flu season, seeing a doctor at the first sign of infection.

I understand this disease now, before I just thought if I got bronchitis it would go away eventually,that a cold was something I could "wear" down.........now I know all of those things have to be treated quickly.  This is a decision that was not made without  a great deal of thought and who knows what lies down the road.  But for me, my quality of life had gone down hill rapidly the past three years and for me the symptoms of meningitis robbed me of living in a way the infections never have.   I know that IVIG can be miraculous for many, but for those like me, that five percent......the side effects take over your life.    So this has been the biggest transformation I have made, since beginning those treatments three years ago.  Only time will tell the rest of my story, but today for the first time in three years......I am at peace.
    

Nila

My best friend Kaye's mom passed away this weekend, quite suddenly.  Her name was Nila and she was like everyone's favorite auntie, who was really cool.  Nila's mom and my mom were cousins and they looked like sisters.......everyone thinks Kaye and I are sisters.  So, best friends and family and for about ten years I worked with Nila at a local dress shop.......she was a  combination, big sister, aunt and second mom and friend.  I loved her dearly.

As I stood with Kaye at the viewing tonight and watched most of the folks who lived in our little town pass by.......I thought, this is what it is about, this life we live........people love us, create memories with us, and grieve for us when we are gone........our lives are entwined with others, and that connection is life giving, life affirming and comfort.

I will miss Nila's calls, her wisdom, her laugh.......I will miss her love for me.......my heart hurts for Kaye, her dad Billy and her brother Dennis, for their loss......my heart hurts for my loss.
RIP Nila.......you will be missed.

Lazy Sunday Night

Rain is moving in, it was 70 degrees today........the peach trees will go crazy and think it is time to make buds......and then the freeze will come. Apple trees are smarter, so are the pears......but peach trees fall for the tease every time.  This is why the years that we actually have ripe peaches are so precious.......why they are so sweet and juicy.

The blueberries are not as cautious as the apples and pears, but more so than the peaches......new growth and buds are beginning to appear.......I walk by them daily and whisper, be patient.

Young deer that were born in the fall are coming at night and cleaning out our bird feeders.  They drive Calliou and Taz crazy.   Every morning, the feeders are licked clean......we see them sometimes in the dark, licking that birdseed like it was candy.......we can almost hear them smack their lips.

The daffodils slim green shoots are already about four inches high......you can almost hear them sing, hurry spring.  You can feel the energy of the earth changing.......everything seems to reach up to the sun now, even on cloudy days.  Sunsets still have the glow of winter......but not for much longer.

On this lazy Sunday night, as you get ready to face the new week, I send you blessings of peace and much love.
Goodnight Sweet dreams

Never Give Up

This came across my FB page today, shared on Julian Lennon's site........I felt the need to share it with all of you.

I don't know how my story will end, but nowhere in my text will it ever read......." I give up."

May we all embrace this as our story.

Moon Magic

The full moon is peeping through the lace curtains tonight, I needed those magical beams of lights.
I love moon rises as much as sun rises, I think of them as hope.......for a new day, a restful night.
I taught my classes today and for the first time in ten days I actually felt like teaching......it makes such a difference when the meningitis begins to leaves.

Tomorrow there is sunshine and 60 degree temps in the forecast.......wow.....I think the snow dance that Jordan and I did is working backwards.  Back to the drawing board on that one!

My students have been incredible this week, though I didn't say  much about not feeling well, they knew and have been there for me in amazing ways. I am so humbled by their love and kindness.

The moon is floating above the tree tops now.  When I graduated from high school in 1970, I thought that by now trips to the moon would be an every day occurrence.......what a disappointment.  I would love to look down and see the earth from the moon.  Looking through the window I can see the shadows and shades of light on the moon, it is brilliant tonight......and as I often say, I love the connection of looking up at the moon and knowing that you all can look up and see the same moon.

I hope your weekend is full of magic, that hugs and laughter are plentiful.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Dogs and Stuff

Calliou, the collie is extremely needy today........I have not been feeling well, but not sure what is going on with him.  He makes every step that Rick and I make, follows us from room to room and needs constant petting.   If this keeps up, I think a trip to the vet is in our future.  The more I pet him, the more he demands......and he does get in your face when he feels the need to be petted.

This week is the first anniversary with Taz........it's hard to believe that she has been with us one year.
We are lucky to have such great dogs appear in our lives. She is the most wonderful little creature.
She is loving but very sassy.  I can't imagine life without her.

This is my ninth day with meningitis, I took off work Monday, but I taught Tuesday and today.
I am not, actually no where near my best......sorry, had to whine.

A cup of hot tea beckons to me, I wish you all goodnight, sweet dreams.

Hanging With Jordan

Jordan spending some time after school at our house, enjoying his games.  The tapestry of him and his mom was my Christmas gift, don't you love it?

Rumors of snow flurries continue to haunt us, we just want to see some flakes!  Jordan thinks we need to do a snow dance, I think he is right.  I know many of you are sick of snow, if we could, we'd gladly take some of yours.  :)  Send it down south! We want snow!

Snuggle Buddy

Full moon and cloudy......maybe tomorrow night those silvery beams will come our way.
Moon salutations for class today, of course.
A cold winter's night, a need to snuggle with Taz......I hope you all have a snuggle buddy tonight.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Ground Hog's Day 2015

Ground Hog's Day, 2015........yep, he saw his shadow.  For those of you who are digging out of the snow......for those of you who think spring will never come, I share these lyrics with you tonight.


"Just remember, in the winter far beneath the bitter snows.
Lies the seed that with the sun's love, in the spring, becomes the rose."  - Amanda McBroom

and as always on this day, for many years.......Rick and I watched the movie, Ground Hog's Day.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams

February 1

February 1.......pouring rain tonight, snow flurries tomorrow

February 1......the month for ground hogs and cupids

February 1......Super Bowl over, did your team win?.....I did like the half-time show

February 1.....Farmer's Almanac is already saying six weeks or more of winter

February 1......spring will come, don't give up

February 1.....my daffodils are showing their tiny little leaves

February 1.....do you send Valentines?

February 1......do you want candy or flowers?

February 1......if this is your birthday month, do you love the color purple? I do, and it's not my birthday month.

February 1......one year ago, this month, Taz scratched on our front door......she is a gift.

February 1.....Jordan and I will make heart shaped cookies covered in red sugar crystals

February 1......28 days will go so fast

February 1......a full moon soon