Tomorrow I find out if the treatments are working, if they need to be continued or stopped.......I hope I sleep tonight. Needless to say, it's a big day this first day of August. I am working hard on no expectations tonight, we shall see what happens. Will keep you posted.
Today was a good day. We got almost six inches of rain, and Jordan spent the day. We spent a great deal of time, splashing in puddles. We are also making Christmas tree ornaments out of play dough for his mom......don't tell, it's a surprise! I know it's early, to be talking Christmas, but you have to prepare for this stuff, and besides.......he loves play dough. He also taught me his version of hop-scotch........trust me, you have never played hop-scotch until you have played his version.....it involves, bonus points, and sweet gum balls.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Monday, July 30, 2012
Don't Compromise Yourself
Tonight, I have ran out of steam......but I ran across this quote in the back of one my favorite books.
I do that often, write quotes down in the back of books that I read frequently......this quote seems so profound tonight, so I want to share it with you. Spoken by one of my most favorite musicians ever......
I can hear her saying this in that raspy voice........
"Don't compromise yourself, you're all you've got." - Janis Joplin
RIP in Janis, you spoke the truth.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Give More, Expect Less
Give more, expect less......a friend posted a list of simple rules to live by on FB this morning, give more, expect less were part of the rules. In yoga I teach about letting go of expectations, our expectations rarely are met and quite often leave us deflated and depressed.
The past few years I have tried to live my life by giving more and expecting nothing.......not even a thank you.
It's hard I admit, but if you give......your time, money, gifts, advice, talents, whatever without expectations, giving becomes so easy. What is it about our society that when we give, we expect? And those expectations lead to hurt feelings, anger, indignation, self-righteousness and more.
Give more, expect less......four words that could make your life easier, happier, and simpler.......
Give more
Expect less
The past few years I have tried to live my life by giving more and expecting nothing.......not even a thank you.
It's hard I admit, but if you give......your time, money, gifts, advice, talents, whatever without expectations, giving becomes so easy. What is it about our society that when we give, we expect? And those expectations lead to hurt feelings, anger, indignation, self-righteousness and more.
Give more, expect less......four words that could make your life easier, happier, and simpler.......
Give more
Expect less
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Backyard Blessings
We live in a poverty stricken area.......sad, but true. Tonight, Rick and I played a fundraiser for a program called Backyard Blessings. The program was started by a friend of ours, because we have so many children
in our school system who have no food when they are home on weekends. At school, they get breakfast and lunch, but for many different reasons almost 300 children (just in our local elementary and middle school)
go hungry on the weekends.
How can that be? Poverty, drugs, alcohol, no jobs the list goes on and on. So each Friday, Leneda and her volunteers pack bags of juice boxes, raisins, peanut butter, microwaveable mac and cheese, fruit, crackers, cereal, etc and the bags are discreetly placed in those children's back packs. Sadly the numbers are growing.
Tonight was successful, local businesses and folks who live in the community pitched in, donations of money and food were given and our friend Leneda was smiling. One of the things that I have noticed about our county, and the small communities scattered around, no matter how great the need and no matter how little some may have......everyone tries to step up to the plate. Many of these communities are the same ones who were hit by the April 27 tornadoes last year. Lots of kids came tonight, free movie and popcorn,
free jump jumps, and they all were having a large time.
Being on stage in the heat......it was nothing......Rick and I have plenty of food, but knowing that in a very small way, we helped to feed a child......that meant so much. When I tell friends in other places about Backyard Blessings they often don't believe that children in America are hungry. To hear the politicians talk, we all live in the land of milk and honey......they should all come to Walker Co. Alabama and take a good long look at reality. Honestly, I figure this problem is widespread, it's just not talked about.
I am exhausted, a treatment this week, hours in the heat this evening......but you know, I'd do it all over again tomorrow.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams
in our school system who have no food when they are home on weekends. At school, they get breakfast and lunch, but for many different reasons almost 300 children (just in our local elementary and middle school)
go hungry on the weekends.
How can that be? Poverty, drugs, alcohol, no jobs the list goes on and on. So each Friday, Leneda and her volunteers pack bags of juice boxes, raisins, peanut butter, microwaveable mac and cheese, fruit, crackers, cereal, etc and the bags are discreetly placed in those children's back packs. Sadly the numbers are growing.
Tonight was successful, local businesses and folks who live in the community pitched in, donations of money and food were given and our friend Leneda was smiling. One of the things that I have noticed about our county, and the small communities scattered around, no matter how great the need and no matter how little some may have......everyone tries to step up to the plate. Many of these communities are the same ones who were hit by the April 27 tornadoes last year. Lots of kids came tonight, free movie and popcorn,
free jump jumps, and they all were having a large time.
Being on stage in the heat......it was nothing......Rick and I have plenty of food, but knowing that in a very small way, we helped to feed a child......that meant so much. When I tell friends in other places about Backyard Blessings they often don't believe that children in America are hungry. To hear the politicians talk, we all live in the land of milk and honey......they should all come to Walker Co. Alabama and take a good long look at reality. Honestly, I figure this problem is widespread, it's just not talked about.
I am exhausted, a treatment this week, hours in the heat this evening......but you know, I'd do it all over again tomorrow.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams
Friday, July 27, 2012
Who I Am
A new ( well sorta) adventure........I have painted for years.....murals, paintings, rugs, and candles and Christmas cards. Then, for what ever reason, I pretty much stopped, other than my personal Christmas cards that I paint each year. I visited with an old friend today from Gainesville, Fl. His company is opening a Christmas shop this year and he wants to include my cards in their shop. I am so excited!
Isn't it amazing how when one door opens, just a wee bit, you began to see all sorts of possibilities. The wheels are spinning in my head, I am thinking I should call some of the shops that use to carry my painted candles and see if they would like to carry my cards.
It's odd about the cards, a couple of weeks ago when we were visiting our friends down on the river, Tom asked me to walk in their living room he had something to show me. Hanging over their fireplace was this massive, beautiful frame........and in it, my Christmas cards that I had painted for them through the years.
Another friend has had several of them framed also. I was so touched, that the cards had meant that much to them.
I love performing, I love teaching, but I have missed painting.......and there is room in my life for all of it.
The art and the music have been a part of me since I was a child......and I have come to realize that I can't deny any part of me.......all of it makes me who I am today.
So I am grateful tonight.....for friends and opportunities, for my gifts and passions.......for those who believe in me enough, to hang my paintings on their walls.
Isn't it amazing how when one door opens, just a wee bit, you began to see all sorts of possibilities. The wheels are spinning in my head, I am thinking I should call some of the shops that use to carry my painted candles and see if they would like to carry my cards.
It's odd about the cards, a couple of weeks ago when we were visiting our friends down on the river, Tom asked me to walk in their living room he had something to show me. Hanging over their fireplace was this massive, beautiful frame........and in it, my Christmas cards that I had painted for them through the years.
Another friend has had several of them framed also. I was so touched, that the cards had meant that much to them.
I love performing, I love teaching, but I have missed painting.......and there is room in my life for all of it.
The art and the music have been a part of me since I was a child......and I have come to realize that I can't deny any part of me.......all of it makes me who I am today.
So I am grateful tonight.....for friends and opportunities, for my gifts and passions.......for those who believe in me enough, to hang my paintings on their walls.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
A Night of Music
This will be a fast and furious entry tonight.......my friend Christine Ohlman, the Beehive Queen, blues singer extraordinaire is doing a live stream with the Muscle Shoals band, The Decoys tonight. Last year I was there, but since I did my treatment yesterday was not able to go tonight........yes, I am sad......but the music is wonderful and I will be there next year!
Christine and the guys are taking a break, so I am typing as fast as I possibly can. If any of you watch SNL
she is the incredible singer on the show, and has been for almost 20 years.
This is the WC Handy Festival in Muscle Shoals/Florence, the music is always the best.......if ya'll can come to Alabama next year, I promise braving the heat and the humidity will be worth it.
Got to go, show is about to start up again. Nothing makes me happier, if I can't be on the stage, next best thing......watching my friends.
Christine and the guys are taking a break, so I am typing as fast as I possibly can. If any of you watch SNL
she is the incredible singer on the show, and has been for almost 20 years.
This is the WC Handy Festival in Muscle Shoals/Florence, the music is always the best.......if ya'll can come to Alabama next year, I promise braving the heat and the humidity will be worth it.
Got to go, show is about to start up again. Nothing makes me happier, if I can't be on the stage, next best thing......watching my friends.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Treatment #6
Number 6, how many more? At this point, I don't know.......will have #7 in a few weeks, and see what the docs have to say. The past six months have been one of the strangest periods in my life. In many ways,
life seems to be suspended right now, time just hanging like a broken twig in the wind......but it is also rushing by faster than ever.....the treatments seem to come faster and faster.
The big green chair looms in my thoughts almost daily.......really sad day today. TV on, almost all new faces.
I miss my chair buddy, Rosemary.......I don't think I have it in me to make a new chair buddy. I feel heavy, does that make sense? Weighted down and small.......very small.
On a good note, the one familiar face from the past few months, a sweet sweet woman asked me why my hair was not falling out. I explained that my treatments were not for cancer, but to restore my immune system. She looked at me for a moment, gave me the warmest, biggest hug and said a prayer for me, right then and there. She was so worried and concerned that I might catch something in the infusion room. I promised her I would be fine, but I needed her promise that she would be too. She and her husband both hugged me, and told me not to worry. For those few brief moments, there was an incredible shift of energy in that room........there was love and hope. I don't know if the others felt it or not, but the nurse who was standing beside me did. The four of us shed tears........cleansing, healing, loving tears.
I don't know where this path will lead, when it will end.........sometimes it is scary, sometimes filled with dread, but as Rick has said so many times......this has all been a warning shot across the bow of our life boat.
Most days, I truly don't think about tomorrow, and every day without fail, I say many prayers of gratitude......for friends, for family, for talents, for all that is good and beautiful around me,for the team of doctors who care for me, the nurses who are always so kind, for my friends at work who cheer me on.
I always remind myself, things could be worse.......and I remind myself to be grateful........there is always something to be grateful for......today was #6.
life seems to be suspended right now, time just hanging like a broken twig in the wind......but it is also rushing by faster than ever.....the treatments seem to come faster and faster.
The big green chair looms in my thoughts almost daily.......really sad day today. TV on, almost all new faces.
I miss my chair buddy, Rosemary.......I don't think I have it in me to make a new chair buddy. I feel heavy, does that make sense? Weighted down and small.......very small.
On a good note, the one familiar face from the past few months, a sweet sweet woman asked me why my hair was not falling out. I explained that my treatments were not for cancer, but to restore my immune system. She looked at me for a moment, gave me the warmest, biggest hug and said a prayer for me, right then and there. She was so worried and concerned that I might catch something in the infusion room. I promised her I would be fine, but I needed her promise that she would be too. She and her husband both hugged me, and told me not to worry. For those few brief moments, there was an incredible shift of energy in that room........there was love and hope. I don't know if the others felt it or not, but the nurse who was standing beside me did. The four of us shed tears........cleansing, healing, loving tears.
I don't know where this path will lead, when it will end.........sometimes it is scary, sometimes filled with dread, but as Rick has said so many times......this has all been a warning shot across the bow of our life boat.
Most days, I truly don't think about tomorrow, and every day without fail, I say many prayers of gratitude......for friends, for family, for talents, for all that is good and beautiful around me,for the team of doctors who care for me, the nurses who are always so kind, for my friends at work who cheer me on.
I always remind myself, things could be worse.......and I remind myself to be grateful........there is always something to be grateful for......today was #6.
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