Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Ol' Buddy

Ol' Buddy Watson
June, 2001 - May 7, 2013
RIP






He was my mom's dog.......after she became ill, he came to live with us.
He weighed 25 pounds, he thought he was the same size as Blackie Bear and Astro......they weighed 90 pounds each.

Today he joined Astro and Blackie Bear somewhere over the rainbow.....I bet my mom was there to meet him too.
He was loved, and he will be missed.

Monday, May 6, 2013

Un-Awakened

A long day, I am exhausted......

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains un-awakened."  - Anatole France

May you all know the unconditional love of an animal......may your soul
be fully awake.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

That's Life

I have written about balance often, about the yin and yang, the happy and sad of life......today is one of those days where there really is the best and worst taking place at once.
This is our 39th anniversary.......wow, 39 years ago in Brewton, Al stopped at a friend's house on the way to the beach ( he was a minister).  We had one day left on the marriage license before it expired, I had a long gauzy dress, Rick had a velvet sports coat ( hey this was 1974)
and we said I do.  We celebrated with Boone's Farm Strawberry wine and Hostess Twinkies......and then on to Laguna Beach, Fl.  It has been like all marriages, good, bad, fair,
sad, happy and sometimes just holding on......for us, there has been much more good.

Tonight, the sad......I mentioned a few days ago that Buddy was sick.  Buddy was my mom's dog and when she fell, he came to our house to live.  Buddy has cancer and it looks as though
we will be back at the vet's making that decision no one wants to make.  Even though he truly bonded to Rick,  I love him too......and in that weird way, that he was once hers......he is my last link to my mom.

So......a good day, a bad day......that's life.....a good marriage, a good dog.  I am a lucky woman.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

I Am Fearless

I met my friend Jackie for lunch today......her birthday was in February, mine in March......I know this is May, but that happens sometimes.  We always meet at the same Mexican place, for Christmas and birthdays.

She gave me this beautiful silver necklace that someone she knew designed......3 charms, one
an aquamarine (my birthstone) and two little tags.....engraved one, I am......on the other, Fearless.  When I opened it, she said, you are fearless.

Fearless.......that word has been used to describe me many times.......and you know, I just never thought I was fearless.  I admit, I have lived a very fruitful, fun life......I just never thought about it being fearless.  Fearless.....without fear.......I teach about letting go of fear, about the dangers of fear.  But, I think dealing with fear at some point or other in our lives is something we all do.

Maybe as a woman I didn't let certain things make me fearful........I was never beautiful, but I modeled......I don't have the greatest voice in the world, but I have sung in some amazing places.....I paint because I love it......I teach yoga because I believe in it.....and I expect something good to take place everywhere I go.......and I found that no matter who I met, I could talk with them......if those things are fearless, then yes, I am fearless.

I love the necklace.......I think everyone should have one or at least a bumper sticker......
I Am Fearless.

Friday, May 3, 2013

The Gift

We visited our friends Charlie and Yvonne this afternoon......they are older.....and wiser ......
and so wonderful.  Charlie was in Washington politics for years, he is witty and smart.....Yvonne hosts (along with Charlie) a local tv show.  Spending time with them is such a treat.

As we sat and laughed and talked, Yvonne looked at me, and said she would be right back.
When she came back, she handed me an exquisite gold/rose gold engraved bangle bracelet.
I looked at her puzzled, she said this is yours, put it on.  It was a bracelet that Charlie had given her years ago..........she said, who else would I give this to ?  I have no daughter, take it.
I was in tears and so deeply touched,  It is a gift I will always treasure.

I understand her gesture, I have started giving my nieces pieces of my jewelry for their birthday and Christmas gifts.  I want them to know and enjoy the pieces and their histories.
I want to see their faces when they open each  box, I mean if I am dead and gone, how will I know their joy?  I understand the importance of giving the specific gifts to those you want to have them.  The time is now, not later.

I have ran my fingers across the smooth coolness of that gold bangle many times tonight......
thinking of a young and beautiful Yvonne, dazzled by her charming and powerful husband....and the gifts that he bestowed upon her.  I am honored to receive such a gift, knowing its history.......knowing their love for each other.  I will wear it with love......such a wonderful gift.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Lessons Learned


ok, so I am back on the island!   I admit, I have spent a great deal of time on the sofa today, but not so much sleep.  There was very little energy in my body this morning, but around 4:00 this afternoon life started to creep back into my body.......my legs are not made of rubber anymore.  Strange stuff, those chemicals that drip into your body.......killer headache today......and a sensation of dehydration, no matter how much water I drink.  Ugh.

This treatment process has taught me many lessons.......so far I have learned........
that sometimes no matter how badly I want to do something, my body demands rest
that sitting in those big green chairs is a great equalizer, they are no respecter of persons
that everyone sees death and life if you sit in those chairs long enough
that you truly can't always get what you want
that good health is the most valuable commodity in the world
that we all want and need help at some point in our lives
that nurses will never make what they are worth
that life is short, no matter your age, you better do what you love
that love and kindness give hope, even when there is none
that smiles are needed daily
that patience is a lesson learned each time you sit in that big green chair
that there are doctors who care, find them
that friends love you, even when you spend the night in the bathroom tossing your cookies when they come to visit
that whatever you want to do with your life, do it now
that even in illness, you have to take responsibility and be active in your life and treatment

15 treatments, and many more lessons learned than what I have written tonight........more to come........lessons and treatments.


Wednesday, May 1, 2013

May 1

May 1........cloudy and windy, rain is on its way

May 1.......four hours in the big green chair

May 1......saw my favorite chair buddy and got a big hug

May 1......slept most of the day

May 1......my great niece, Breeze made the swim team and won two first place ribbons today

May 1......the whole world seems so green and fresh today

May 1........the hummingbirds are swarming the feeders

May 1........where did those other four months go

May 1......treatment #15 today

May 1.......our anniversary is this month

May 1......Mother's Day is this month, so strange not to buy our mom's gifts, I miss them

May 1......our dog Buddy is very very sick, and I am very very sad