Sunday, April 7, 2013
Fun Ain't Cheap
Long, but good weekend.......book signing with Rick yesterday, songwriter showcase today........you could say I might be a wee bit tired. An old friend use to tell me, fun ain't cheap, anytime I complained. He is no longer with us, and he was right......sometimes fun comes at a high price for me. But, then I think of all those times, I have been sick and unable to sing......a little fatigue, a small price for an afternoon of music, sunshine and good friends. I hope your weekend has been as sunny and as beautiful as mine......I hope you have been surrounded by friends......I hope your ears have been filled with good music and laughter.
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Get Rid of the Box
" Instead of thinking outside of the box, get rid of the box." - Deepak Chopra
Get rid of the box........let go of all those old paradigms, get rid of of all those useless old thoughts!
We think ourselves into corners, we think ourselves into a description that doesn't apply to us in any way, shape or form.
Spreading our wings, following our dreams, and allowing ourselves to see what we want ........that is getting rid of the box. It is so easy to stay in that nice, safe, box.......it is what we know, how we live,
and what we see. But, getting rid of the box.......it is the first step toward freedom. It is the first step
toward becoming who we were born to be, achieving the life we were born to live.
Get rid of the box, let go of who you think you are suppose to be, let go of how you think you are suppose to act, let go of the old you....... think about your dreams, think about what you wanted as a child, think about what you would be if you could be anything!
Start small, step outside of the box, do one thing that is unique for you......how did it feel?
Take another step, do something that you always wanted to do, but you were afraid.......how did it feel? Get rid of the box......you don't have to be who your parents wanted you to be, you don't have to do what your family expected, it is ok to follow YOUR dreams, your hopes. Get rid of the box.
We box ourselves in, to a life that is not ours........we box ourselves in......and forget about our dreams.....we box ourselves in......and become shallow, empty beings of who we might have been.
Get rid of the box. This is it.....this is our life......this is the day we have been waiting for........
get rid of the box.
Get rid of the box........let go of all those old paradigms, get rid of of all those useless old thoughts!
We think ourselves into corners, we think ourselves into a description that doesn't apply to us in any way, shape or form.
Spreading our wings, following our dreams, and allowing ourselves to see what we want ........that is getting rid of the box. It is so easy to stay in that nice, safe, box.......it is what we know, how we live,
and what we see. But, getting rid of the box.......it is the first step toward freedom. It is the first step
toward becoming who we were born to be, achieving the life we were born to live.
Get rid of the box, let go of who you think you are suppose to be, let go of how you think you are suppose to act, let go of the old you....... think about your dreams, think about what you wanted as a child, think about what you would be if you could be anything!
Start small, step outside of the box, do one thing that is unique for you......how did it feel?
Take another step, do something that you always wanted to do, but you were afraid.......how did it feel? Get rid of the box......you don't have to be who your parents wanted you to be, you don't have to do what your family expected, it is ok to follow YOUR dreams, your hopes. Get rid of the box.
We box ourselves in, to a life that is not ours........we box ourselves in......and forget about our dreams.....we box ourselves in......and become shallow, empty beings of who we might have been.
Get rid of the box. This is it.....this is our life......this is the day we have been waiting for........
get rid of the box.
Friday, April 5, 2013
Sad Plants
A better day, a much better day.......my energy is returning, the rain has stopped and the sun came out this afternoon.
We are optimistic, we moved all the trees and plants out of the great room and on to the deck this evening. Last winter our trees did so well, this winter has been a different story. It has been so cold and rainy, we couldn't move them outside any this winter, they are so sad, leaves dropping, barely hanging on.......I am holding my breath, hoping and praying that the warm weather and sun will revive them. Many of them belonged to my mom and grandmothers, I am their care-giver, they are my legacy.
This is a busy week-end, Rick has a book signing tomorrow, we have a concert Sunday.......I should never book back to back gigs on a treatment weekend......what was I thinking? I will rest tomorrow night and am about to turn in now. Wishing you all a weekend of sunshine, warm spring days and
much laughter! Send some good energy to my plants please.
We are optimistic, we moved all the trees and plants out of the great room and on to the deck this evening. Last winter our trees did so well, this winter has been a different story. It has been so cold and rainy, we couldn't move them outside any this winter, they are so sad, leaves dropping, barely hanging on.......I am holding my breath, hoping and praying that the warm weather and sun will revive them. Many of them belonged to my mom and grandmothers, I am their care-giver, they are my legacy.
This is a busy week-end, Rick has a book signing tomorrow, we have a concert Sunday.......I should never book back to back gigs on a treatment weekend......what was I thinking? I will rest tomorrow night and am about to turn in now. Wishing you all a weekend of sunshine, warm spring days and
much laughter! Send some good energy to my plants please.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
A New Book
Since this was the day after treatment, there was no energy to be found in my body for most of the day......along with the chills and fever and aches that hit and the fact that it is cold and rainy.....I spent the day reading. I started the morning with magazines, not much attention span, but as the day went by, the energy began to spread through my body and I picked up a new book I had bought this week.
"Manuscript Found in Accra" is the new book from Paulo Coelho. He wrote The Alchemist, which is one of my all-time favorite books. This new book is, I think every bit as good as The Alchemist.
It is ancient wisdom, in a simple story full of hope. Each page is full of amazing quotes, words that you will read and reread many times........like this one, "Fate is never unfair to anyone. We are all free to love or hate what we do." Another one that blew me away, " We are afraid to change because we think that, after so much effort and sacrifice, we know our present world." And my favorite,
"Therefore, your enemies are not the adversaries who were put there to test your courage. They are the cowards who were put there to test your weakness."
Reading this book today helped put yesterday in better perspective, though I don't believe I will ever fully understand the world those big green chairs create.
Wishing you all a good night, and sweet dreams.
"Manuscript Found in Accra" is the new book from Paulo Coelho. He wrote The Alchemist, which is one of my all-time favorite books. This new book is, I think every bit as good as The Alchemist.
It is ancient wisdom, in a simple story full of hope. Each page is full of amazing quotes, words that you will read and reread many times........like this one, "Fate is never unfair to anyone. We are all free to love or hate what we do." Another one that blew me away, " We are afraid to change because we think that, after so much effort and sacrifice, we know our present world." And my favorite,
"Therefore, your enemies are not the adversaries who were put there to test your courage. They are the cowards who were put there to test your weakness."
Reading this book today helped put yesterday in better perspective, though I don't believe I will ever fully understand the world those big green chairs create.
Wishing you all a good night, and sweet dreams.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Treatment #14
Fourteen months, I started these treatments naively thinking six months or a year at the most.......
it seems I am a full-fledged member of the Big Green Chair Club.
There were only a few in the room today, it is strange how sometimes there are people waiting on those big green chairs, and then you have days like today......only a couple at a time were occupied.
One of my chair buddies got the news you never want to hear........his chemo is not working......he gets a two week respite and then the radiation starts. He stared into space, turning on the tv and then finally drifting off to sleep, while the nurses pumped a bag of nutrients into his port. His daughter sat by me, at first tearful, sharing with me that her mom had passed away only a few months ago, and now this news. Her dad has everything to live for, yet there is an evil monster in his body, devouring him. Remember them in your thoughts and prayers.
My other chair buddy, who has been sitting in those chairs for sixteen years, was in good spirits today. He shared hugs, kisses and funny stories......he is a warrior. I look forward to seeing him, he is sunshine and warmth, when the storm clouds gather.
Our doctor came in and sat by my friend's daughter, to offer comfort, and hope.........and hugs.
Our doctor is a brave and fearless warrior also, she fights the monsters tirelessly......I want to bring her home and cook a meal for her, to let her enjoy the peacefulness of the countryside......she needs a break from the fighting.
I really do feel that I am in some sort of brotherhood, some secret unit like soldiers in combat, that share life and death......and everything in between. Those green chairs create a bond of sorts, it is not one you seek or aspire to , but in some simple twist of fate.......there you are.
It was rainy and cold today, and those warm cozy blankets just weren't warm enough. The nurses were extra attentive, but the shadow of the monster lurked in the corners. More and more, I understand that I am meant to be in those green chairs, I suppose I must be a warrior too.
it seems I am a full-fledged member of the Big Green Chair Club.
There were only a few in the room today, it is strange how sometimes there are people waiting on those big green chairs, and then you have days like today......only a couple at a time were occupied.
One of my chair buddies got the news you never want to hear........his chemo is not working......he gets a two week respite and then the radiation starts. He stared into space, turning on the tv and then finally drifting off to sleep, while the nurses pumped a bag of nutrients into his port. His daughter sat by me, at first tearful, sharing with me that her mom had passed away only a few months ago, and now this news. Her dad has everything to live for, yet there is an evil monster in his body, devouring him. Remember them in your thoughts and prayers.
My other chair buddy, who has been sitting in those chairs for sixteen years, was in good spirits today. He shared hugs, kisses and funny stories......he is a warrior. I look forward to seeing him, he is sunshine and warmth, when the storm clouds gather.
Our doctor came in and sat by my friend's daughter, to offer comfort, and hope.........and hugs.
Our doctor is a brave and fearless warrior also, she fights the monsters tirelessly......I want to bring her home and cook a meal for her, to let her enjoy the peacefulness of the countryside......she needs a break from the fighting.
I really do feel that I am in some sort of brotherhood, some secret unit like soldiers in combat, that share life and death......and everything in between. Those green chairs create a bond of sorts, it is not one you seek or aspire to , but in some simple twist of fate.......there you are.
It was rainy and cold today, and those warm cozy blankets just weren't warm enough. The nurses were extra attentive, but the shadow of the monster lurked in the corners. More and more, I understand that I am meant to be in those green chairs, I suppose I must be a warrior too.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Inward
My classes were packed today.......lots of people searching for answers. Today, half the class was spent in meditation.......it is difficult to turn inward, when you think that all the answers are in someone
else's hands. Ownership of mistakes as well worthiness is not easily embraced in recovery.
I understand more and more the phrase, give out.......I have a tendency to give out......until I am empty. The day before treatment is tough, it is hard to explain.......but it seems the juice runs out, I am a deflated balloon......waiting, with trepidation to be refilled tomorrow.
Going inward was good for me today........sometimes, I teach so many that path.......I stumble often.
In those big green chairs, there is no other place to go but inward. I am glad it is going to rain tomorrow, the rain seems appropriate for a day in the big green chair.
Wishing you all, a journey inward, may you find peace tonight.......and every night.
else's hands. Ownership of mistakes as well worthiness is not easily embraced in recovery.
I understand more and more the phrase, give out.......I have a tendency to give out......until I am empty. The day before treatment is tough, it is hard to explain.......but it seems the juice runs out, I am a deflated balloon......waiting, with trepidation to be refilled tomorrow.
Going inward was good for me today........sometimes, I teach so many that path.......I stumble often.
In those big green chairs, there is no other place to go but inward. I am glad it is going to rain tomorrow, the rain seems appropriate for a day in the big green chair.
Wishing you all, a journey inward, may you find peace tonight.......and every night.
Monday, April 1, 2013
April 1
April 1.....today was warm and sunny, 70 degrees with blue skies, spring might decide to come to Alabama after all
April 1......April is our most turbulent weather month, it is a bittersweet time, full of hope, growth
and flowers......and sometimes, destruction and death.
April 1.....month number 14 for treatments, actually day after tomorrow is number 14.
April 1......no one played an April Fool's joke on me today
April 1.....the first quarter of 2013 is gone, I blinked my eyes.
April 1.....brings several fun gigs for Rick and I, music and book signings.
April 1......according to my horoscope, it should be a very profitable month.
April 1.....I clean my closets, and have very strong nesting urges this month.
April 1.....I am ready to dig in the dirt and feel the sun on my back.
April 1.....for the first time ever, the callouses on the tips of my fingers are so thick, my fingers don't hurt when I play the guitar!
April 1......April is our most turbulent weather month, it is a bittersweet time, full of hope, growth
and flowers......and sometimes, destruction and death.
April 1.....month number 14 for treatments, actually day after tomorrow is number 14.
April 1......no one played an April Fool's joke on me today
April 1.....the first quarter of 2013 is gone, I blinked my eyes.
April 1.....brings several fun gigs for Rick and I, music and book signings.
April 1......according to my horoscope, it should be a very profitable month.
April 1.....I clean my closets, and have very strong nesting urges this month.
April 1.....I am ready to dig in the dirt and feel the sun on my back.
April 1.....for the first time ever, the callouses on the tips of my fingers are so thick, my fingers don't hurt when I play the guitar!
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