He Is Not A Mutt

Through the years our dogs were castaways in the truest sense........mutts, sickly, weird, dogs that no one wanted.......some had really sweet personalities, others were cat-like and independent, some were so needy,
some like ol' Buddy were a little of all.

For the first time in many years we only have one dog, Calliou a magnificent, prissy collie......he is not a mutt.
He actually chose us.  Calliou (originally Wallie) lived about a mile away with a neighbor, but he would not go home . It was the year the year the tornadoes hit, maybe he just felt safer with us, I don't know.  But it was months before we even knew he belonged to our neighbor, he just chose us.    He stayed with us for months, we took him to the vet, he made peace with Blackie Bear, Astro, Buddy and Taylor and he became ours.

The other dogs were old and sickly and one by one this past year, they all passed over the rainbow.  These days, our house is so empty, so quiet.  Even though Calliou is big, he is not a barker......more a high pitched
woof, woof.  The other dogs made their presence known, he prefers to gingerly tip-paw through the house.
He is starting to understand that there is no pecking order now........he is king. I think in his own way he misses the other dogs, especially Buddy........Buddy always let him know this was his home, he was here first and if there had to be a choice about who stayed or left.......Buddy would win.

Calliou has not chosen Rick nor  I for his master......he seems to want us both......His favorite place to sleep is in the guest room, and he loves to herd people. Tonight, he is lying in the floor beside me as I write this blog, just the way Blackie Bear use to do.  We are leaning each other, likes and dislikes.......he doesn't like to be brushed, I don't like to be herded.  It will be a while, when and if we take in another dog.....for now, living with a prissy dog is all we need, all we want.  He is not a mutt, but he is awful lovable.

Live in the Present

"You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment.  There is no other land, there is no other life but this."   - Henry David Thoreau

Thoreau knew and understood the meaning of now, he knew that this moment is all we have.
I would have loved to have spent time with him, walked through the woods and talked.
It is so important to remind ourselves daily.......we must live in the present.

Heaven

Heaven.......my friend Joel Robinson talked with me at length years ago about his thoughts on heaven.
Joel had been a friend for years, he knew my parents, Rick's parents....he was Walker County's version of Atticus Finch (To Kill A Mockingbird).  He was smart and funny and kind and one of the hardest, yet greatest tasks I was ever asked to do.....sing at his funeral.

Heaven......Joel's thoughts were unique, he described in depth one day about his grandparent's thoughts of heaven.....in their heaven, their homes would always be warm in the winter, cool in the summer, plenty of good food, clothes, a roof over their heads, plenty of cool fresh water, medicine for illness, education for their children......all would have enough.  As the words rolled off his tongue in his gentlemanly southern drawl, he looked at me and smiled broadly, do you realize he said, my grandparents would think that I am living in heaven this very day......I have everything in my life right now, that they thought would be in heaven.

That conversation has stayed with me all these years.  He often talked about his thoughts on God, on the Universe and mankind. He and my father taught me similar ideas, that love was the answer, that all humans were equal and that here on earth it could be heaven or hell......depending on your circumstances.

I was reminded of Joel's words today......our writer's think tank had a meeting and as we sat around the kitchen table, we began to talk about how grateful we were for our lives, for what we had, for the bond that our circle had formed......I sat there and thought, wow this is how I always envisioned heaven........good friends, food, music, laughter and being loved.

Self-compassion

" A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day.  A string of such moments can change the course of your life." - Christopher Germer

Guilty, I have had moments like most.....where I have berated and belittled myself.....but I know people who seem to do their whole life  that way.  So......stop it now.......show yourself compassion.....stop beating yourself up, stop saying all those negative things about yourself.....today is the day.
Self-compassion, today, tomorrow and forever.  See yourself in a different light, you'll see others differently too........life will be different.  Practice self-compassion......now.....this moment.

Spring

Wet soil, jasmine, honeysuckle, roses, mint, rosemary and rain.....that is what you smell as you step through our front or back doors tonight.......it is spring......one of the prettiest and wettest that we have had in some time.

We planted wild flowers, tomatoes, egg plants and squash this morning......two hours later, three inches of rain.  I figure the pond may be growing veggies and flowers soon.

I opened the front door this evening after the all the rains moved through.....the light was pink, the hemlock glistened with thousands of tiny droplets.....I thought I was in the northwest.....the beauty and lushness was almost too much to bear.

No one wants to live in Alabama in July and August when the it is 100 degrees with 90 percent humidity.......everyone wants to live here in the spring.  Wish you were here.

Labels

Letting go of labels........that was yoga class today.  Sometimes we wear so many labels, we lose our identity.   Sometimes we believe the labels that others slap across our foreheads......for good or bad.
It is good every once in awhile to spend some quiet time and strip away the labels........just let them fall where they may.......until we find the real essence of who we are.  Forget about the label of sex, of relationships, of sibling, of parent, of friend, of doctor, artist, attorney, teacher, addict, loser, stupid.......forget all those labels.......remember who we really are.......human beings with the capacity to love and be loved.......and then let go of the human label.......we are spiritual beings with the capacity to love and be loved......that is it......that is who we are.

Celebrate Life

Still reading The War of Art, fascinating.....about half way.  Will do a report soon.
Busy day, early doctor's appointment, then on to the mall and then lunch with Rick......and then home to work in the yard.  Why are off days never off?

It's interesting, I have spent so much time at the chemo clinic/lab it's like going to visit family every time I see one of my doctors.  Every one from delivery guys to receptionists recognize me, it is comforting to see smiling faces and hear friendly voices.....to get high fives and hugs.  I showed the receptionist my teal toe nail polish today, she just howled with laughter as I lifted my leg and showed her my toes.  Her personal toe nail color was baby blue.  What can I say, it is the little things that brighten your day.

I met an absolutely delightful young woman at one of the shops in the mall today.  She had a tattoo that I immediately recognized its symbolism......her family were all Naval officers.....several generations of them.
We bonded quickly when I told her a little about my job.  Her spirit was amazing, her beauty, breath-taking.....I could have stayed and talked with her most of the day......she now has a loyal customer.

It was good to be out, to spend time outside, feeling the warm sun on my face.....to see smiling faces....to eat
great fish tacos.  This day was good for my spirit, we celebrated Rick's awards, we celebrated a good day,
we celebrated life.  If you haven't felt the warm sun on your face, or the wind blow through your hair recently, spend some time outside.  Eat a meal outdoors, smile at strangers........celebrate being alive......paint your toe nails blue.  :)