First Rate

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."

- Judy Garland

It seems to me more than ever, that there are an awful lot of second-rate versions walking around.

Why is that? Why do we all want to be somebody else, live someone else's life? Are we afraid of who we are, embarrassed or just not sure? Maybe it is just easier not to be ourselves.......or have we just thrown up our hands and given up?

Each of us is such a wonderful unique individual, full of talent and creative energy, and we sell ourselves short. Have you noticed I include myself in this tonight? I know that life is tough, and sometimes the ones we love the most are our harshest critics, we ourselves the harshest....... are we so tired, there is nothing left, or have we allowed others to take control of our lives.

I have spent the past three days doing yoga, breath work, and meditation......I have gone inward on many levels and at times it has been frightening and sad, yet highly enlightening. Hearing others talk at the yoga training, it appears most of us are in the same boat......we have our moments but to reach them is like climbing Everest and once there.......we're not sure where to go next.

Being ourselves , our first rate versions......well it may not always be the version

our friends and loved ones are comfortable with, it may be extremely uncomfortable for us.

In life, it is so easy to coast, and then we wake up one morning(because of age, health, circumstance,etc) and realize we can't coast any longer, that time is flowing like a stream to the ocean and it is now or never. We have to live our authentic lives, or settle for second rate versions, impostors if you will, shadows of who we were meant to be.

I had a friend once who told me her whole life she had worn drab colors because her mom had told her, bright colors didn't suit her......but one day, on an impulse, she bought a beautiful bright pink sweater. At first she was hesitant to wear it, but it was such a beautiful color, so compelling that she wore it one day......and all day people told her how great she looked. It took a while, but with time she brought color into her life on all levels. She was no longer a shadow.

I think it starts with small changes, baby steps......thinking about what we really want, allowing ourselves to see the possibilities, remembering our dreams and then giving ourselves permission to become who we were meant to be.

My Journey

So today, I completed my 200RYT in yoga training. It has been a journey of tears and laughter....it has been long, because I could not contain myself to pursuing just one particular type of yoga....my students were way too important for that. So, I spent years, accomplishing what many do in six weeks or a year....but that is ok. My path has been different, I pursued studies that would benefit my students more than benefiting me. That is ok....today while a goal has been reached....it really is the journey more than the destination. And in the words of my good friend Claude Thomas, I did it "one breath at a time."

I am tired tonight.....my muscles ache, my bones weary.....a smile on my face. The day has been good, but it truly was the journey that made this all seem worth while.
Every teacher training I attended, every class I taught has woven a tapestry full of beauty and knowledge and wisdom.....I am blessed. My students have been answers to prayers, bringing great joy and love to my life...and this path is unbelievably peaceful and rewarding. I will never be able to give back, what has been given to me.

When I started to teach, I had no idea what my destination was, but I knew in my heart the journey would be filled with love, joy, and incredible people, it has surpassed my expectations.

My heart is overflowing with gratitude, I know that I am blessed.....and tonight I send those blessings to all of you. I hope your journey will be as wonderful as mine, no matter where it takes you.

Namaste.

Tough Enough

Tough enough.....I am on the final leg of my 200ryt for yoga alliance...I actually have many many more hours of training than that, but they only recognize those hours in one particular style of yoga. Ten hours of training yesterday, ten today, ten more tomorrow and then my body can collapse....I am so tired(ok, just call me whiny baby)

My friend Jackie and I have been through these trainings for the most part together.
It is surreal that we are about to reach our goal....well for now. We are also pursuing
a 300ryt in yoga therapy. (I think we are both freaks, but what do I know)

All I can say tonight.....every muscle in my body aches, and so do all my joints....but I am tough enough. Tomorrow night, pictures!

Back Where I Belong

Back where I belong.....we have internet connection! Rick text ed me at a yoga training today, and I couldn't believe it, we were back on line.

I had a meltdown yesterday.....it just seemed the grief, the emotional roller coaster,
it all hit with a vengeance. I was in a bad place and it took some doing to get out of the darkness.

This teaching training had been scheduled for months, three days of it....and yesterday I began to fret about not being in our community over the weekend, not helping with the recovery, I was so torn.....but you know, this eight hour day of yoga was just what I needed. I needed to take a break, so I can help some more. This recovery is a long slow process, and everyone involved has to have a break at some point.

I am tired, but it has been a good day and it feels so good to be able to communicate without going to McDonalds(though I am very thankful for them the past few days).
Actually, it is so nice to sit here in pj's and write this blog.

Thanks for your patience, your support, your love and your kindness. Your comments were inspiring and uplifting, and I know that good thoughts and love were sent to me every day. I am so indebted.......once again, it is nice to be back where I belong.
Good night, Sweet dreams.

Strange and Wonderful

This is how strange and wonderful life can be....I went to work, taught my classes and before I made it to Mickey D's, I went to tv studio to be on a local talk show.
It is a show called Health Matters, hosted by Edie Hand and the taping that I am on is about addictions. I talked about the importance of breath, and how yoga can help with day to day stress as well as the stress of addictions. It was fun and a nice respite for me, I came straight from teaching, so I wasn't glamor queen,but that is ok.

Maybe once the show airs I can post a little clip....ha ha, I will be signing autographs soon!!!!

Thank you all for your wonderful comments the past few days, and your loyalty.
It is heartwarming and really inspiring to hear from all of you! For the first time since last Wednesday I am beginning to feel human again. It is amazing to me how the mind and the body process, and deal with life....no matter how good or bad it is. We are truly awesome creatures, and I believe way stronger and smarter than we give ourselves credit.

Back here in McDonaldland, the folks who work here know us now....sorta like Cheers, when they all yell Norm!!!!! Who knew it would feel like home at Mickey D's?

Today, Jordan came over with his butterflies, we released them and he yelled and jumped for joy as they fluttered toward the clear blue sky and the warm sun.
Last year, he cried when we released, but this year, he knew they wanted to be free, he knew they wanted to fly. It was so much fun, that simple act of releasing butterflies.

The sun is setting, I am tired and home is about a twenty minute drive, Good night Sweet dreams.

Happy Meal

McDonald's is my favorite place in the world right now.....I can check my email, and write my blog! There are a lot of folks here doing the same....it is beginning to feel like home. HaHa!!!

It is cold and rainy and today. I am still scattered in my thoughts(and there are those who would swear that is nothing new) Now Rick and I are really starting to have withdrawals from our "world of friends"!

As I taught my classes yesterday and last night I realized how badly I had needed to teach.....it was so much comfort, to walk into the class room, get the mats out and begin to breathe. As the students walked in, they were all smiles, it felt so good to see Happy Faces! None of my students will ever realize how much I needed them yesterday, how much I needed the routine of breath work, of asanas and relaxation.....and the hugs they give to me at the end of class.

Clean up in our communities has started.....power is back on in many areas, phone service is still iffy. This too shall pass.

Rick is laughing because I have eaten more fast food in the past week than I have in my whole life probably....but I feel guilty sitting here and not buying something, I figure when life becomes more normal, it will be along time before I can visit Mc Donalds again! (sorry guys, I can feel my arteries clogging)

Until my next visit to Mickey D's,.....Happy Meal anyone?????

I Have a Home

We still have no internet connection, thank God for McDonalds. Sorry that I am not posting every night, but these are difficult times. I know that it may seem strange to talk about yoga in the midst of our tornado stricken community, but honestly I think my yoga practice and breath work is keeping me sane.

Every time I see a convoy of phone, electrical service trucks, I take a deep breath, because I know some where those who have homes are getting electricity and phone service. I see National Guard convoys and know those areas that were hit are being protected from looting. And with every breath, I say a prayer of gratitude because I have a house and my family members lived.

I miss these postings, I miss not being able to connect with you all, but this too shall pass.....and I have a house. I appreciate all your thoughts and offers to help, as things change and we all begin to come out of the shock, I may ask for help, some of you I have already contacted and as I see needs I will ask.

A friend mentioned today, about how good people are and how kind.....he is one of those that had become quite crusty these past few years, but I have always believed in the goodness of mankind.....I knew in my heart when each of us needs the help of others, we step up to the plate. That is one thing this disaster has taught us, there is good and kind in everyone, we all want to help, none of us want to see anyone suffer. (and yes I know there may be a few who take advantage of this, but you know that is their path and their sad life to live)

I am bone tired, but that too shall pass......I have heard many horror stories, but I have also heard many good ones......I am amazed by the human spirit, by the strength
and faith that prevails in darkness.....and just as surely as darkness falls, light will come again.....I have heard so much laughter mixed with the tears these past few
days.....don't ever lose faith in the human race, there is love, there is kindness
and yes even in joy in our little communities.....I have learned so many lessons the past few days, I have been humbled more times than I can count, and I have taken many many deep breaths.

Maybe later I will share some of the more personal stories with you all, but right now I can't talk about them without tears.....but I have a house.
I miss you all, but I feel your love and prayers every day. Hug everyone you love, and no matter how humble or grand your home, be grateful for it and know that here in the hills of Alabama, there is a very tired yoga teacher who sends her heartfelt thanks for your comments, your prayers and love.....and I have a home.