Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Grief and Loss

Grief and loss, it can be the darkest hole you ever find yourself in, with seemingly no way out.
Honestly, I don't think grief ever ends......I think it becomes a part of your life......sometimes it eases up and fades.....but it can hit you like a tidal wave when you least expect it.

I think our society has led us to believe that there is a mourning period and then it goes away......Ha!
Loss is profound, loving someone with all your heart doesn't stop when they die.......life eventually reshapes the hurt and the pain.....but I don't believe it ever goes away.  It has been 23 years ago this month since my father died, and there are times when that wound opens and the hurt is just as bad now as it was then......the good news those times are not daily anymore.

My mom and my oldest brother died a couple of months apart......I have very few memories of my life for about three years after their deaths......I think I went through the motions of living, but it took some time to live again.

I have friends and family members who have buried their children........their grief goes on, just as their lives go on.......in some ways, I think they become the walking wounded forever.......they don't have scars, but big holes in their hearts that never heal.

I have good friends who are dealing with grief and loss tonight.......their wounds are fresh, that time when even good memories can cause pain.....their lives on emotional roller coasters, one minute they feel everything, the next nothing.

I have students at the addiction center who tried to numb the pain of grief and loss with drugs and/or alcohol.....sadly, they learned, nothing eases the pain but time itself.......it doesn't disappear, but you do get respites from it.

What I have learned about grief and loss.......it is part of life, we can't stop it.....and we all make it through one way or another.....and sometimes we don't.

2 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry for the loss of your parents and brother. I lost my Dad in 1976 and I miss him and think of him everyday. This month will mark 10yrs since my nephew passed away and our family grieves for him daily. My sister has moved on as best she can...she has 3 other wonderful children and also grandchildren..yet, she's not the same person. We are so close that I feel like a part of my soul and hers are forever connected and I can feel the loss, even though she seems to be handling it well. I don't think it's wrong to grieve..even if it's forever...if in that grief we can honor and remember those that we will always love. I think our grief becomes more of a monument to them. As long as we also remember that our loved ones would want us to live a full, long life. I have the faith that one day it will all make sense..we'll be together again and there will be no more sad times.

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