In some way or other, I have spent most of my life taking care of people. Today a good friend called, we had spoken just a few days ago but her son is having some health issues and I figured she was calling to keep me in the loop about him. That was part of the call, the other was about me.
She was upset and hurt by something that I had done... and we are good enough friends she could talk
with me about it. I had been sick during Christmas holidays. I had mentioned it here on the blog, but had not really talked about it. I missed some time at work, but I pushed myself to get my cards painted, visit with family and with friends. We had actually gone by her house and visited with she and her husband.
She found out a few days ago that I had been sick. She was hurt that I had not told her. I know that everyone has burdens they carry, and honestly I try my best not to add to anyone's load. But she told me something tonight that touched a nerve. She told me that I had always been there for her, and that it hurt that I would not let her be there for me. A couple of other friends have said pretty much the same thing to me. My friend Tom at work is always saying let people help you.
I thought about her words, and questioned myself about my actions. It stems from childhood, my mom was tough ( an English bloodline) and we were taught to stand strong on our own two feet, to push through anything that didn't kill us, and to help everyone around us.
So with this New Year just beginning, there will be an addition of sorts to my vision board...let others help me, let others be there for me. This will be a toughie for me, after all I have been this way since childhood, but I will work on it. I don't want to hurt my friends or make them think I don't need them. Lesson learned tonight.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
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I understand. It's always easier to give than to receive.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
JB
I too have a hard time accepting anything from someone else. My children are the closest people in the world to me and I even have reservations about bothering them. We were taught not to bother others with our troubles and we took it to heart.
ReplyDeleteI SO get this! Last year I had many offers of help after my knee surgery but turned them down because I felt I had been planning for it for months and was very prepared. A few friends ignored me and brought meals anyway and I really appreciated their thoughtfulness. When we refuse to let others do a kind deed we are denying them the opportunity to be kind..to have that blessing. I'm like you...Mom always said "Just Do It"..she had that saying long before Nike! It's taken me 62yrs to finally feel I can let others lend a hand and their heart!
ReplyDeleteYaya, it has taken me 63 years. I am glad for my toughness, but you are right. We deny others their blessings when we don't accept their kindness and help. We are never too old to learn
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