Friday, September 16, 2011

Meditative Lessons

Today has been a day of going inward.  The fog that has hovered me  around for days has lifted, but my head is full of introspection, of whys, and hows.  My classes today were all about meditation, I taught for my benefit as much as anyone else's.  Some days, you have to take stock, a personal inventory of how, and why.......but to be successful at it, you have to be objective about it.  It is easy when you go inward, to began a downward spiral,and it turns into a how low can I go journey.

To be honest, I do not like to go inward.......if I am honest and objective......my faults and weaknesses flash like neon signs, and it is easy to then wallow in the mire.  But going inward can teach you great lessons......like today,  I have struggled with a friendship for the past few weeks.......usually I read people really well, but this friend is at a difficult spot on life's path.....  they reach out, and when I hold out my hand......they back away.

I realized today, I have to step back.......it is true, I can't fix everything, I can't help everyone.......hard words to swallow.  I also realized today that I have to set some boundaries......the walls have to go up.  Watching someone you care for go down the slippery path is almost unbearable, but if you're not careful, they will take you with them.  Being there is one thing, being used is something totally different.

I know that we all come into each other's lives for reasons, paths cross, and lessons are taught.  With time,
maybe the answers will come....tonight I send my friend love and prayers, hoping that they will find the peace they search for.  During those meditations today, my lesson came to me.......all I can do is love and pray....no judgments, let go of the worry, and be there if needed.

Posted by Jilda at 10:20 PM

6 comments:

  1. AnonymousSeptember 17, 2011 at 1:44 AM

    I more and mora like reading you.You appear to be such a normal human:))

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousSeptember 17, 2011 at 1:48 AM

    I more and mora like reading you.You appear to be such a normal human:))

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sarah TokeleySeptember 17, 2011 at 5:13 AM

    It's tough to watch a friend making mistakes, but we can only be there to pick up the pieces afterwards if they want us.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jim and SandieSeptember 17, 2011 at 9:45 AM

    It is so hard to realize that you might not be able to help someone that you hold dear. I've learned that for my own sake, I need to let them know I'm there for them if they want to change. But I don't want to hear them whining without change being involved. I have to preserve my own sanity and peace. I learned just how hard this is when my son became a wayward teenager. But he's now a marvelous 25 year old young man. He keeps telling me I did the right things. Nice to have that acknowledgement.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Jim and SandieSeptember 17, 2011 at 9:45 AM

    It is so hard to realize that you might not be able to help someone that you hold dear. I've learned that for my own sake, I need to let them know I'm there for them if they want to change. But I don't want to hear them whining without change being involved. I have to preserve my own sanity and peace. I learned just how hard this is when my son became a wayward teenager. But he's now a marvelous 25 year old young man. He keeps telling me I did the right things. Nice to have that acknowledgement.

    ReplyDelete
  6. CiCiSeptember 17, 2011 at 6:35 PM

    Tricky business to care about someone and want to be there for them without being sucked under yourself. After all, we have to take care of ourselves. Another nice post.

    ReplyDelete

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