We talked about how, every once in awhile, you just get out of bed and think why am I doing this??? Carrots get dangled in front of your nose, deals are discussed and then, it's all smoke and mirrors, nothing happens. And yet, you just keep on keeping on. Music is as much a part of me, as my blue eyes or fair skin. There have been times that I told myself never, ever again. And the very next day, a song would dance its way into my head, or someone would call and ask me to sing.
This fixation, this obsession of creating music is both horrific and wonderful. It is a common thread in my marriage, it has weaved incredible friendships for me, but then those times, when all my self worth was tied up in whether someone thought my voice good, or my song good, and when I failed to make their grade, devastation
I heard the excitement and joy in my friend's voice, and I knew that feeling so well. It is the highest high imaginable, the sensation of validation, that maybe just maybe, the song will soar, and all those years, all those tears, it will all be worth it.
Since I have never had a child, I don't really know the euphoria of giving life to a human, but I know the euphoria of giving life to a song, to a good song, to a song that some places in the world went to #1. I can tell you, I have never experienced anything like it before or since. I just know that I want that feeling again, just one more time(ok, maybe 20 more times).
So tonight, I say a prayer of gratitude for my friend's twist of fate, and hope that the music gods continue to smile on him for many many more songs. May all my songwriting buddies know that feeling of making it, of knowing that your song has taken on a life, and may you all get a check in the mail!
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Cool beans!!!
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