Still rainy and very cold......there was excitement and sadness during classes today......for some the holiday meant a pass out, a chance to go home and see family and friends......for others, home is too far away or they have not been at the facility long enough to have a pass out. Even for those getting to go home, there is an undercurrent of nervousness, of self-doubt, fear of judgement or returning to old habits.
These are the days I teach with extra love, and care.......these are days we should all treat each other with extra love and care. Holidays can be brutal, stirring old memories, hurt feelings and pain for many.....while others just want a Hallmark holiday, which only exists in a Hallmark movie. I think back to holidays past, of the stresses and fears I dealt with.......so long ago, and sadly, so unimportant now. I was such a coward back then, could never say no, could never voice the holiday I wanted. If there are regrets, for me, it is the regrets of holidays past.......and unlike the movies, there is no going back.
It took many tears, illness, deaths and the passing of years to acknowledge what I missed each holiday season. Too many places, too much to do, too many gifts bought for all the wrong reasons.....but now, I know, I understand......how important it is to celebrate the holidays in the now, to celebrate within your rim of reason and not someone else's, to spend time with those you truly want to spend time with, to create your own traditions.
So tonight, if the holiday season is already making you crazy, if you are wishing the new year was already here.......stop it now, take a deep breath and think about what you want to experience this holiday season.....be honest with those you love, compromise, and understand this.......nothing has to be perfect,
your feelings and thoughts matter, take the time to enjoy the magic......the lights, the food, the sounds, the colors, the joy......each day, take a few minutes for yourself.....it will all be over in the blink of an eye. Find your way to celebrate, your way to make your holiday memories.