Friday, January 27, 2012

Difficult Anniversary

Twenty-one years ago today, my dad died.....he got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and suffered a massive heart attack.  Some years this anniversary is not so bad, but this morning was tough.  I woke up thinking about him, wishing with all my heart that I could speak with him, hug him, just see him one more time.

He would have adored Jordan, he would love knowing that the barn has been refurbished, and that we are working on the old farm house.  He would laugh to know that we have chickens, and he would love every one of our five dogs.  I think he would be so proud of me and the work that I do with soldiers.
He would want to go fly fishing with Rick ( and catch more than him).  He would be thrilled that I finally got off my rear and really do play guitar.  He loved the songs that we had written before he passed, he would love the new ones too.

I think it would truly sadden him, this division of our country.  He was a decorated war hero, but when he came home, he was a true soldier for peace and loving your fellow man.  He was blue collar, working class and smart as any college grad.  In a town of less than 2000, more than a 1000 came to his funeral......to this day, there are still people who  tell me how my dad helped them at some point in their lives.

He was a coal miner, and a plumber......both hard dirty jobs......but he took pride in his work.
I have his blue eyes, and I think his heart.  Being kind was his religion....and joy and laughter
was part of his daily bread.  I have cried many tears today, the grief has shook me hard and the sadness just won't leave.  This has been a difficult anniversary.

9 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry. Try to feel the hug I'm sending your way.

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  2. ...and you shared such vivid and loving memories Jilda.

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  3. I amsorry for your loss, sending you my strenght!

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  4. So sorry for how you are feeling. He sounds like he was a wonderful man.

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  5. Still feeling grief this strongly means you still love him and haven't forgotten him. It's hard but try and accept the pain. No-one said love was painless.

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  6. You were so blessed to have your wonderful dad. I know the memories aren't the same as having him right there with you. You carry him with you in your heart every day. He is part of you. Try to take some comfort in that. Thinking of you.

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  7. That was very moving Jilda. My Dad will be gone 15 years in February so I feel your loss. Your Dad sounds like he was a very special and well loved man. Now I know where you get it! Hugs my friend.

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  8. He sounds like he was a great guy and being loved and missed by all those friends and his family is a true statement to what success really is. It seems to me that you inherited the very best of him.

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  9. I know one day I will lose my parents but I hope that day is a long way off as I do not know how I would cope without them..........I feel for you...........

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