Treatment # 10......walked into the room this morning and I did not see a familiar face.......a little bit of panic. None of my chair buddies were there, the television was blaring, my veins were rolling......I breathed. A new mix of meds today.......bone stuff included, hopefully we have nixed the thinning process.
I kept breathing, the room was full, lots of activity,but began to talk with the woman beside me.
She was just what I needed, funny and kind. A jolt of pain as the needle finally found a spot in the hand that didn't duck and run for cover. The nurses were in overdrive......because of the holiday next week, ( and no one wants an infusion on Thanksgiving) it seemed the chairs were booked back to back.
I keep breathing, the kind funny woman is done, the television seems to get louder and louder......the patient who has the remote keeps channel surfing........suddenly an answer to a prayer.....one of my buddies appears......and he looks GREAT! and he is doing great, eating, no more radiation, and there is hope in his eyes as well as his wife's. We both express worry and concern for those who are not there today.......we try to stay positive......which is hard to do, with a blaring television.
The big green chair feels as if it is going to swallow me today.....I am freezing and even the warm blankets are not helping. My friends and I try to talk above the incessant blather of the television.
I breathe.........Rick comes in to visit, the hospital book stores have bought some of his books to sell, he is happy. The room begins to quiet down, patients leave, the remote control is back with the nurses, I finally ask them if we can turn off the tv if it is ok with the other patients......the patients who are left cheer......even the nurses seemed relieved to turn that ridiculous box off.
Why do they have a television in a place of healing? I know the standard answer to that question.......because it takes your mind off your troubles.........I think that is BS.....I think music, I think caring people around you, I think hearing laughter and voices of those who are walking a path much like the one you are, I think connecting, or sitting there reading a book or meditating......sorry, you all know how I feel about that damn tv.
It is late, I am tired.....the green chair wore me to a frazzle today.