Hope

What a difference twenty four hours can make.  Yesterday morning I had gotten up, went through my morning routine and as I was making myself a sandwich for lunch, the serum sickness hit.  Rick was in Birmingham, my brother Ricky (  who lives next door) was at work, I was home alone. I took my meds and thought I will be fine.....but it progressed, so I took more meds.  I called Rick just to let him know I was sick and ask that he call my workplace and let them know I couldn't make it.

Lying on the sofa, ice pack at the back of my head, waiting for the nausea meds to work......hope deserted me.  Rarely in my life, have I ever lost hope but I did yesterday. I lay on the sofa, Taz at my feet, Calliou on the floor beside me......and sobbed.

Finally the meds kicked in, and I slept for a few hours.....by 7:00 last night I was able to teach my community class.  I so glad I made it......I had a packed house, students that had not been in a while, and an old friend showed up.  I felt their love and concern.

This morning, I told myself it was a new day and that no matter what, I had to go on. Just before lunch, my phone rang.......it was the call that I had been waiting for......a doctor who specializes in my disease had kept me on his waiting list for a couple of months, his nurse called to tell me he could see me in February......I swallowed hard and expressed my gratitude for the appointment and reminded her that if any cancellations came up to please call me.  In about thirty minutes the phone rang again.....it was the nurse......someone had just called and cancelled their appointment for November 24, because it was Thanksgiving week.  She asked if I wanted it.......I choked up and told her that if he wanted me to come Thanksgiving day I would.

Twenty four hours after losing hope.......I found it again.  I have expressed my gratitude over and over today to anyone who would listen.  So that was my transformation......tonight if you have lost your hope, please don't give up......it's waiting for you, just around the corner. Tomorrow is treatment day and for the first time in a couple of years, I don't dread it.......I have hope.