Darkness

Darkness, that word has haunted me all day. I woke up thinking about it and it has slithered in and out of my thoughts all through out my day. I came home from teaching this evening, and as Rick and I sat down to spend some time together, we found a Bruce Springsteen documentary

on his album(yep you guessed right) Darkness. So, I think with Bruce's blessings(sorta) this had to manifest itself tonight.

Most of the time we think of darkness as not good, void of light, evil, sinister,unenlightened.

We talk about the dark side, about finding our way out of the darkness, having dark moments.

I think we are embarrassed in a way, about the dark side of our lives, of our thoughts, maybe even scared by the darkness. And when someone surrenders to the darkness, it can be devastating, maybe life threatening.

But just like everything in life has balance and purpose, so does darkness. I deal with darkness

in my life, just like everyone else. Everyone's darkness has a different face, a different character.

Mine robs me of my self esteem, my self worth. For some the darkness takes away kindness,

steals the ability to love, swallows the ability to connect with spirit and with other humans.

As I have thought about darkness today, I have begun to understand my darkness and how in a weird twisted way, it leads me to the light. When you think about being in the dark, truly being in the dark, then you begin to understand a single beam of light shines like the Milky Way

in utter darkness. Without the dark, the light would grow dull, lose its shine, its luster if you will.

The contrast of the darkness increases the brilliancy of the light. Those days when I can find no worth in what I do, what I say, what I feel, and I am lost in the darkness........ when that one beam of light peeps across the blackness, it is blinding. But on days when I am walking in the light, and an extra little beam shines down, I don't notice it so much.

It has been said so many ways, so much more eloquently, but it is the circle, the good and the bad, you can't have one without the other. The secret is to acknowledge the darkness that we all experience......it can be from illness, from trauma, from chemical imbalances in our bodies,

it can be taught to us as children, it can come from not allowing ourselves to think, to question.

For some of us the lives that we once lived, as the years go by and we learn and grow, our past becomes our darkness. I think maybe that is when you have to really look for the light, if you think about living your life a certain way for many years, pursuing what were dreams then..........and as you live and learn, as your spirit grows, as you seek truth, you begin to realize the darkness you were in. That's when it is vital to grasp those

beams of light, not to hide in shame or fear, but to walk into the light and out of the darkness.

For those of you who may be in darkness tonight, know that there is always light........just as surely as the sun fades into night and the night drifts into the morning. Even if it is just a tiny crack of light that appears for only seconds, look at it, and know that it will grow. If there is any message I can leave you with tonight, don't allow the darkness to trap you, to fool you into thinking there is no light..........that is just the lie of the dark.