#29

Treatment # 29......it seems as though #28 was just yesterday.  Things were not so busy in the room filled with big green chairs today, but it was a strange day.......a patient coded, another one was admitted to the hospital......it just seemed to be a day gone awry.

These treatment days are long.....and exhausting.  How can lying in a recliner be so tiring?  But I did get to see my chair buddy Louis, who has become one of my best friends.  A young man was in the chair beside me today, as Louis and Rick and I laughed and talked, the young man looked on with awe.
When Louis left, I told the young man a little about Louis......the young man was impressed.  Today Louis touched someone without even realizing it.  We all do that you know......touch people without realizing that we did.  The way we act, talk, interact with others......people take notice.

I felt so bad for the nurses today.....usually Wednesdays are slow, today was a stressful day for them.
I know they were happy when the clock struck 4:00.  When I left them today, I reminded them to go home and rest, to care for themselves.  They do important work, a lot of people, including myself depend on them.

29 treatments, open ended, never ending........that is a long,long time. This week has been an emotional roller coaster for me......it is easy to get depressed, when you allow yourself to think of the future.
I cry sometimes, and want things to be normal again......I want the past.....I have to practice what I teach.....no going back, learn from the past......live in the now, that is all we have.....normal changes, what was once normal is no longer......hard lessons.

My bed is calling me, I have on my favorite old worn Eeyore pajamas....tonight I needed comfort.
Goodnight Sweet dreams.