Treatment #14

Fourteen months,  I started these treatments naively thinking six months or a year at the most.......
it seems I am a full-fledged member of the Big Green Chair Club.
There were only a few in the room today,  it is strange how sometimes there are people waiting on those big green chairs, and then you have days like today......only a couple at a time were occupied.

One of my chair buddies got the news you never want to hear........his chemo is not working......he gets a two week respite and then the radiation starts.  He stared into space, turning on the tv and then finally drifting off to sleep, while the nurses pumped a bag of nutrients into his port.  His daughter sat by me, at first tearful, sharing with me that her mom had passed away only a few months ago, and now this news.  Her dad has everything to live for, yet there is an evil monster in his body, devouring him.  Remember them in your thoughts and prayers.

My other chair buddy, who has been sitting in those chairs for sixteen years, was in good spirits today.  He shared hugs, kisses and funny stories......he is a warrior.  I look forward to seeing him, he is sunshine and warmth, when the storm clouds gather.

Our doctor came in and sat by my friend's daughter, to offer comfort, and hope.........and hugs.
Our doctor is a brave and fearless warrior also,  she fights the monsters tirelessly......I want to bring her home and cook a meal for her, to let her enjoy the peacefulness of the countryside......she needs a break from the fighting.

I really do feel that I am in some sort of brotherhood,  some secret unit like soldiers in combat, that share life and death......and everything in between.  Those green chairs create a bond of sorts, it is not one you seek or aspire to , but in some simple twist of fate.......there you are.

It was rainy and cold today, and those warm cozy blankets just weren't warm enough. The nurses were extra attentive, but the shadow of the monster lurked in the corners.  More and more, I understand that I am meant to be in those green chairs, I suppose I must be a warrior too.