Treatment #13.......the start of a second year of treatments. Who knew that green chair would become such a part of my life?
The infusion room was packed today, not an empty chair or bed......people waiting for shots and drips. The nurses were stressed, people were sick......yet there was a calmness that permeated the air. All of us knew in good time everyone would be taken care of, all would receive what they needed.
My chair buddy from last time is not so well, she sat beside me today........I see the changes taking place, the sparkle leaving her eyes.......she is such a vibrant lively woman, fading.
I am exhausted, it seems a great deal of my energy these days goes toward keeping my body warm.
I am always cold, today I had two blankets.......I never got warm. But, I know......it could be so much worse.
Sitting in that big green chair, I have seen worse......and I know what it looks like. But, there was laughter too, you have to laugh and smile......it is a reminder that we are all human, grasping at life.
There are hugs, and blessings and prayers.......and no matter how bad you feel when you leave, you know everyone in that room is cheering for you, hoping for you........hoping for themselves.
It is strange, I feel an odd belonging, a sense of camaraderie to that room, those chairs, the patients and the nurses. It is hard to explain, it sounds a little crazy......but for now, I know that I am where I am supposed to be. I feel protective of that place, those green chairs and the people who sit in them.
A year ago seems so far away now, the green chairs no longer alien.
Please send good thoughts and prayers and love to those who sit in the big green chairs......my prayer, one day......we can have a big old bonfire and send those green chairs where they belong.