Staying Focused

For some, it is such an easy task. They figure out what to do, where they are headed, how to get there, and then nothing stands in their way. I have always known what I wanted to do/be, but I have let myself be sidetracked my whole life. I try to figure it out, do I not want success, am I afraid of success, what the heck is wrong with me???????? My whole life it seems, I have put everyone else's wants, needs and wishes ahead of my own. Is this a female thing, a southern thing? I know some of the answers, ........like well, if I do this, so and so may not like it or me, if I do that, some one may become angry or walk out of my life. Every day I tell people to live their dreams, to go after their dreams and not be afraid. I know what my dreams are, and to some extent I have followed them. But you know the truth of the matter is, I can be out there working hard on my dream, and the phone rings, my life is on hold and I am spending my time, my breathe, my life on helping someone else achieve their dream. So many times, I have pursued dreams only to let some one else take them away. To allow someone to belittle my goals, to rob me of working toward my dreams, to let what someone else thought, someone's opinions steal all that is dear to me, what I was placed on this earth to do. Honestly,

I know where this started, and now I don't think I have the energy to spend the time and money on the therapy that it would take for me to rid myself of all the baggage. So where do I go from here, every couple of weeks I write out a list of "What Do I Want" and there it all is in black and white. It is a slow extraction, but bit by bit, I am hanging in there. I don't mean to whine, my life has been magical, but just like many of you, I have allowed so many distractions veer me off my path. I think what I feel is common(God I hope it is and I am just not this crazy). I wish sometimes that I could clone myself, and let my clone work as hard for me as I do others. But in the end, it is my responsibility........ to stay focused, to work towards my goals, my hopes and dreams........and of course in the meantime, encourage all of those around me! Thanks for letting me vent today, I needed it.