I told one of my classes today that I want to go on a silent retreat..........they all laughed. I guess it does seem rather strange, but I talk alot, and sing alot........and I listen alot. A silent retreat just appeals to me, no talking, some days that sounds like heaven.
I had a friend who was a minister and he told me he did a silent retreat weekend at a monastery. He laughed and told me the first couple of hours were great, and after twenty four hours, he was playing every commercial, every song, and every conversation he could think of, in his head.
For most of us, sitting in silence for just a few minutes can be excruciating, days might just push some of us over the edge. But I want to do it.......there is a part of me that every once in awhile.....craves solitude and silence.
The solitude, I have to have......it is the only way I can keep my sanity. It has nothing to do with not loving the people around me, it has everything to do with loving myself. The silence I cling to in moments, maybe a few hours here and there.
I think the need for solitude and silence becomes greatest when I am burning the candle at both ends, when fatigue is the only sensation I feel, and a ringing phone makes me grit my teeth. I bet you all have been there, probably some of you are there right now. All I can tell you is what I do, when I can't flee or become a recluse.......I breathe, I walk, I write and stand in the shower and cry, because I don't have time for a bath.
And I tell myself over and over, this too shall pass.
So the silent retreat is on my bucket list.......a weekend would probably be the perfect fix for me......or maybe I would be like my friend and twenty four hours would push me over the edge. Anybody out there want to join me in silence????