disbelief, anger, eagerness and much curiosity. It was a slow go, a couple of times I had tears in my eyes, but I have had lots of experience and I just hung in there. By the time class was over,
almost every one in the group had something good to say. WHEW!!!!!
Needless to say, I am very tired tonight. In my Monday night community class, we have three members who are/have been seriously ill.......we are a tight knit group, most have been coming to my class for years. It's like family being sick. I looked out among the group tonight, and once again felt tears in my eyes, I miss them. The group has sent much love and healing energy, and many prayers for them, this day has been an emotional one. I want them well and back in class!
It is one of those times in life when I have to breathe a lot. That is just how it goes. One of my students said it best, "it's ok to be sad, better to feel sad than not to feel at all." When my mom was ill, I began having headaches, you know the kind, you think a midget with an ice pick is on top of your skull excavating........I went to my family doctor and when he heard the nurse ask how my mom was doing(he didn't know she was dying) the first words that came out of his mouth, " you need antidepressants". I told him I just could not take them, that yes it was a horrible time, and I was depressed, but I needed to feel the sadness. I knew in my heart that if I didn't let myself experience it then, the grief would be unbearable when she passed. I could not spend those last few months with her numb and unfeeling. Sometimes you just have to let yourself be sad.
Next week is the anniversary of my father's death, funny how those days stick in our brains.
It has been twenty years, you'd think by now, it wouldn't hurt so much. The pain is still there it, just doesn't show its face as often as it use too.
As stressful as today has been, there has been a goodly amount of laughter as well. So the yin and yang, the balance is as it should be. I am ready for a hot cup of tea and my warm cozy bed.
Good night, Sweet dreams.