I think that when I am with them, I make a difference, maybe make their situation a little better, a bit more bearable, but I am not sure that what I teach stays in their hearts. I hold on to a thread of hope like I do tonight, hoping that there are some who take what I give to heart, that some how some way I have helped someone have a better life....... but life is hard and the problems that were there before are still there.
Every day living is fast and furious,throw in drugs and alcohol, trauma and horrors, anger and pain.......is it just too hard to let it go, is it really easier to be swallowed up and drown in the quicksand? What is the difference in the one who makes it and all the others who don't?
Tonight, I feel as though I am in the movie Ground Hog's Day.........I keep thinking what, if anything can I do different, can I make a difference? The one thing I know tonight.......I know nothing, I am at a loss, struggling, asking what can I do? Maybe my reality is, I do what I do for me......right now, I can't find any answers.