When you hear the raw tracks, just your voice, no frills, in the empty space of the control room, it takes away any uppity thoughts of yourself right away.
It is such a strange thing, my obsession, my life long chase of music. When I sing, there is such indescribable joy, that there are thoughts that go through your head like, hey, I might be an ok singer........oh god, how could I ever think that, oh god what am I doing, oh god, I must be crazy.
Those are all thoughts that ran through my brain today, as we sat in the studio and listened to tracks we had recorded the past few weeks. To sit and listen to every phrase, of each take, note by note, word by word. To say it rattles your cage, is an understatement. If you were drunk, it would sober you up in a matter of seconds!
There has to be some confidence building before we go back, I am beginning to think that maybe I just like the pain. Ok, I know, I have to breathe, A LOT!!!!!
The process is exhilarating, draining, and let's add humbling to the list. By the time this is over, I may be paying all of you to buy a cd!!!!!!!!
So, send good thoughts, and loving energy to this project, pray that I don't harm myself or anyone else involved. Now I just need to find my courage and my sense of humor and maybe some small shred of dignity.