I can remember in years past, seeing friends and meeting people and sometimes they would tell me about a serious illness they were dealing with, many times I would look at them and think.....but, you look great, you look so healthy. I have always tried to be compassionate and I hope that through the years as I met those people I was compassionate......you see, I have become one of them.
Dealing with chronic illness is exhausting and at times can be frightening and depressing......especially when you see someone and they tell you how great you look......that's when the voice inside your head screams. As a former make-up artist, and fashion consultant, I can put together a great package, but only my husband Rick knows how my days and nights are.
I have had friends who voiced their worries and concerns with phrases like, " we are worried about you, we think you're giving up." Ha! Giving up would be easy, quitting my job and spending my days on the sofa would be a breeze. Working, teaching and performing.....and trying to live a normal life is the hard stuff. Maintaining a positive attitude is tough sometimes, when all you really want to do is throw yourself a big old pity party.....or lie in your pjs on the sofa.
I try not to talk about my health very much, usually when people ask, I tell them I'm ok, I'm good.
But, I had a small meltdown this morning, and I realized I had become "one of them.".......the ones who don't look sick, but who struggle just the same. In the words of my friend Brenda today, "life is a bitch, but it's worth it." She is one of them too......and yes Brenda, life is a bitch sometimes, but it is worth it. Thanks for letting me share tonight, I bet there are many of you just like me......we should form a club, with tee shirts "I'm One of Them."