What Is Left

 July 14, it's been awhile since I have written.   What can I tell you, June was overwhelming  as well as these first couple of weeks of July.  Work on the farm hit with a vengeance along with upper 90's to 100 degree days.  Heat and no rain, but high humidity...fruit dropped to the ground, a critter got in my chicken house and killed my oldest girl, Speckles.  I have had two burglaries ( loss of third generation garden tools and then the theft  of Rick's tools and my dad's.)  Now I have padlocks and high tech cameras everywhere.

July 16 will be the two year anniversary.  It's been two seconds, two minutes, two days, two million years...every moment is different. That first year life was a dark grey fog, this year the cold deep well of reality opened its mouth and swallowed me.  I have drowned in that well many times, but something always brings me back, throws me a life preserver and I hang on.  The insistence of friends and family, their belief in me is the thread that has wrapped around me and kept me going.  Thank you all for never giving up on me.

Here's what I personally have learned from loss.  The only good thing about loss, you learn the value of what is left.  My candle has flickered daily, but someone else's light has shone brightly and kept the darkness at bay.  I know family and friends are sick of me telling them how much I love and appreciate them but I have to do that,  they are what is left and I can't let them ever think I don't know their value.

To those of you who read my words, I will write when I can but for now, please be kind, and know in your hearts, love is all there is.