Two Months

I was sleeping soundly last night, truly resting and in the middle of my slumber, Taz sat up in bed and started to bark.  I picked up my phone and Taz and walked into the living room to see what was going on.  I looked at my phone, 2:21 am...today is the 16th...two months since Rick passed....2:21 am  the official time of death on his death certificate.  Neither of the big dogs barked just Taz.  She has slept in our bed since the the first day we got her.

Two months, for many that might seem like a short time.  It's an eternity for me.  Yet, life goes on and the world around me continues to spin.  The anger and hate and fear that constantly broke Rick's heart continues around us.  Nothing has changed, everything has changed. 

It occurred to me last Saturday as I was having dinner that for the rest of my life, most of my meals would be eaten alone.  I still cook almost every meal, I just call Sam and Jordan and they come over and pick up the leftovers.

I know that there are many who miss Rick, who loved him.  But their lives have continued in pretty much the same way as before.  I will carry him in my heart forever and mourn his loss until the day I die.

 I only hope he didn't die in vain.  That maybe on some level, his sense of empathy, his compassion and kindness for all humans touched and changed someone's life.  He believed in caring for the old, the sick, the downtrodden, he believed that we are our brother's keeper, he believed in women's rights,  that Black Lives Matter, in science, in journalism, in truth, that every one was equal. He wasn't big on religion, but he loved the words in red. He was a veteran and he kept in touch with many of the men he served with. He believed with all his heart if you treated all people the way you wanted to be treated, then you had lived a good life.  Rick Watson lived a good life.