Sunday, March 31, 2013

Happy Easter

We spent the weekend with friends, it was good to laugh, share great meals, music and friendship.
Their Easter bunny seemed to take a great liking to me.  :)

Happy Easter, I pray that  for all of you, it has been a day filled with hope and joy.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Musings of Death

I woke up this morning before the sunrise.....thinking of loss, of death and how our society looks at passing of spirit from body.  It is difficult,  we love our friends and family members and I think no matter how we look at death......loss is a bitter pill to swallow.  I think about other cultures, and the death rituals that are practiced.

Religion gives comfort, mourning brings closure, and philosophy, peace......for some.  For some of us when loss takes place, there is such intense grief......there is no closure......and we are bound to  wander a wasteland filled with hopelessness for the rest of our lives.  Age plays a part in how we handle death,   usually when someone young dies, there is profound remorse for a life just started,  while someone in their 7th or 8th decade is lauded for the good long life they have lived.

The death of a child, starts a parent on a downward spiral,  a parent's death leaves an adult child feeling like an orphan, a spouse's death can break a heart forever and a friend's death leaves a void
that never is filled, a sibling's death leaves emptiness and often regret.

I think about death, and the ways that I have experienced it.......friends, parents, a sibling.......the horrific kick in the stomach you feel at first, the disbelief, the shock, the pain, the anger, the grief, and finally, the good memories, tinged with sadness.  Death is the equalizer, we will all face it at some point.......no matter what your beliefs about what happens next....one thing for certain,
we will all die......so live today, love those around you, find happiness in something every day, be grateful, make the moments count......

Friday, March 29, 2013

The Rising of the Moon

We watched an old Irish film tonight, ( 1957) based on a play "The Rising of the Moon."
It was a story about "the troubles" in the early 20's, filmed in Galway.  It was beautiful, just a short thirty minutes or so, directed by American John Ford.  There were not any famous actors, it was in black and white,  but it is based loosely on an Irish folk song that was written to inspire the fight against the Black and Tans.

The Rising of The Moon,  words by J.K. Casey, music Turlough O'Carolan
And come tell me Sean O'Farrell tell me why you hurry so
Husha buachaill hush and listen and his cheeks were all a glow
I bare orders from the captain get you ready quick and soon
For the pikes must be together by the rising of the moon
By the rising of the moon, by the rising of the moon
For the pikes must be together by the rising of the moon
And come tell me Sean O'Farrell where the gath'rin is to be
At the old spot by the river quite well known to you and me
One more word for signal token whistle out the marchin' tune
With your pike upon your shoulder by the rising of the moon
By the rising of the moon, by the rising of the moon
With your pike upon your shoulder by the rising of the moon
Out from many a mud wall cabin eyes were watching through the night
Many a manly heart was beating for the blessed warning light
Murmurs rang along the valleys to the banshees lonely croon
And a thousand pikes were flashing by the rising of the moon
By the rising of the moon, by the rising of the moon
And a thousand pikes were flashing by the rising of the moon
All along that singing river that black mass of men was seen
High above their shining weapons flew their own beloved green
Death to every foe and traitor! Whistle out the marching tune
And hurrah, me boys, for freedom, 'tis the rising of the moon
'Tis the rising of the moon, 'tis the rising of the moon
And hurrah, me boys, for freedom, 'tis the rising of the moon

Sorry, watching the film just brought the Irish out in me tonight, and the song is so hauntingly beautiful.
There is a recording of Peter, Paul and Mary singing The Rising of the Moon, you might want to take a listen sometime.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Heart Chakra

Classes today were on the heart chakra.....the link between earthly and spiritually......compassion for others and yourself.  We did heart opening asanas, we did a beating heart meditation.
I talked with the students about this time of renewal, of rebirth.......and how I thought if was fitting that they were in a rehab center during this time, renewing their lives......rebirthing themselves.

We talked about how difficult it is to renew, to rebirth.......but spring is all about renew and rebirth.....Easter is the perfect time to think about renewal and rebirth.   The color green represents the heart chakra, and green is probably the first color we think about for spring.  The color of fresh new growth springing forth to face the sun and thrive.

The sun was shinning to day, the sky was clear and bright and blue.  With a full moon this week, emotions were off the chart, but that is ok......to feel, is an important part of the renewal process.
Take a moment tonight and think about your heart, the physical one that works so hard to feed blood to your body, and the spiritual one, that not only gives love, but needs love.  Think about what you can do to rebirth your heart this week.......do you need exercise, more fresh air and sunshine, maybe you need to love yourself a little more......whatever you need, now is the time to think about your heart, about rebirth and renew.......and maybe wear a  little green to brighten up your day!

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Easter Cookies

Today, Jordan, Joy, Zoe, Breeze, Daisy, and Stone came to the house to make Easter cookies.  I found an egg shaped cookie cutter the size of my hand......the cookies were LARGE.

As always, there are more decorations on the cookies, than there is actual cookie.......but the kids have a great time.
I promised them all when school is out, they can come spend the day......they were beside themselves with joy!

I made spaghetti for dinner, they ate a pot full.  They also climbed trees, chased the dogs, played ball, blew bubbles and
just ran for the fun of it.  I am exhausted.  My floor is full of sugar crystals, I have washed two table cloths.....wow, fun is hard work. 

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Progress

Progress.......the fence guys came today......our fence is back!  Friday, more workers to come, more progress to be made.  It is a slow go, and yes it will be weeks before all is repaired, but to see one thing fixed is good.

This is how life is,  you can't fix everything at once, quite often there  are things you can't fix.
You fix what you can, when you can.  Those you can't fix, find the beauty and goodness in that which is broken.  Sometimes, it is a lesson of acceptance and change.

Time for the gratitude ceremony, blessings to you all.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Gratitude

Some days, I have so much to be thankful for that there are not enough words to express my gratitude.  When that happens, Rick and I do a gratitude ceremony.......flowers, a candle, a gift of money to someone who needs it, and a prayer of thanksgiving to the universe.
I light the candle, place the money by the flowers and say our prayer.

We have so much to be thankful and grateful for today,  we have a house that survived the storms,
we have a couple of friends who are beating cancer,  and we continue to get bookings for gigs, my heart is full of thankfulness.

It was so good to be back at work today, I missed my students!  and I think they missed me.
The fence guy came by, we should have our fence back by the weekend, the roof man is coming to check out the roof, and the carpenter will be by in a few days to start repairs.
They all get a mention in the prayer......and so do all of you.
Gratitude, tonight I just can't say it enough.

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Balance

This is an early blog, but we are under a wind advisory, the storms are gone, the ground is saturated and the winds are howling.......good chance, more trees will go down and power will be lost. This too shall pass.

I woke up this morning around 2:00 am in the midst of yet another rotating storm.  As I lay in bed I thought about balance......I thought about balance in the traditional yoga sense, balance in life, balance
in our weather........when anything is out of balance, the dominoes start to tumble.

In yoga, we work on the actual physical properties of balance, you know like standing one foot.....we also work on the balance of bringing body and spirit together, the physical and the spiritual.
Balance in life.....wow, that is a biggie......relationships, health, wealth, spiritual, physical.....books have been written on the subject.  Now, it seems here in Alabama even our weather is out of balance.....how in the heck do we balance weather?

I spent a greater part of the wee morning hours, listening to the raging storm, watching the jagged cuts of lightening cross the sky thinking of balance.......in all its identities.  One thing that I realized in the midst of the storm.......our lives do hang in the balance.......and when one part shifts, for good or bad..... the whole, the yin and the yang feel it.

Balance is delicate, it is vital.  We can breeze down our path, consuming junk for our bodies and our minds.......but I promise, when the balance is gone......we pay a most costly price.  Everyone I know,
is searching for balance these days......they may call it love, recovery, religion, health, whatever......but in the end.......it's balance.  I hope we all find ours.


Saturday, March 23, 2013

Birthday

Today is my birthday.....my mom always said out of the eight kids she birthed, I was the most difficult......to birth and rear.  I was born butt first, yelling at the world, by the time I arrived, my mom was tired of having kids......it seems my brothers and sisters were given the job of watching after me. Out of eight kids, I was the only one born at a hospital, the others were home births.
I was always the odd one, the one the family made jokes about......I was weird and different.
It's all good, I am what I am.

It has been overwhelming today......all the birthday wishes, the notes, the calls.  It is quite humbling.
Everyone kept asking my plans, what were we doing for my birthday........we were without power four days this week, we have worked like lumberjacks clearing debris so we can do repairs......my clothes dryer died......I have washed and dried clothes all day today.  We expect more storms tonight and tomorrow.  We had a big gig this week.......we are exhausted......I don't want the storms to hit anyone, I just want them to disappear.

I appreciate all the birthday wishes, all the good thoughts.  It is amazing to feel loved, for friends to think of you,  to tell you how much they love you.  Not only am I a lucky woman, I am a happy woman.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Life Happens

Once again power is  back on, but now the weather guys are predicting storms tomorrow night......we haven't even started repairs on the damage from this week.  Deep, Deep Breath........

But on a happy note, my sister Pat, my nieces Becky and Jayna and Rick took me to lunch today for my birthday tomorrow.  I had a great time, lunch was yummy (crab cakes)  and then they gave me
PRESENTS!   I pretty much got a spring wardrobe, tried everything on tonight......everything fit and it's all so beautiful.  I am so very lucky.

It has been an exhausting, difficult, week.  It has been a good week.......that is how life goes isn't it?
The storms, the clean-up, the stress......but then, we played our gig last night, and it was wonderful!
We opened for our friends, The Spook House Saints.  It was their cd release concert.  I think Rick and I probably did one of our best shows ever and our friends rocked the house!  Even with the forecast of snow and ice ( I know, we truly have bizarre weather) we had a good crowd.

So, life goes on......or if you have read Rick's latest book......Life Happens.  It really does, and you just have to grin and breathe, and maybe cry a few tears.

Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Power is out again

The power is out yet again. Maybe we'll have lights and Internet tomorrow.
Until then.
J

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

POWER

POWER is on!  We got it back a little while ago........happy dance!  Thank goodness for friends, family and neighbors......we lost huge trees, around 25 or so and two days of HARD labor with the kind souls and hearts around us, the big stuff is ready to burn.......LOTs of little stuff to pick up,
yard will have to be smoothed and planted, barn roof still has to be fixed, roof on the old creative house has to be fixed, chicken house needs work, and our roof has to be checked out......but I had a HOT shower tonight!  Land lines are still out, but tomorrow is another day.

Rick and I are so tired, we can barely move.....we have a gig tomorrow night, but all those weeks of practice should pay off.....though to be honest, we have been slack the past two days.
The chickens got out of what was left of the pen today.......you should have seen Jordan, Rick and I chasing, trying to out run that crazy rooster, Zeus.  Finally, they are back in the pen.  The guys that were cutting the big trees got quite a show.  What can I tell you, I do not live a dull life!
I just hope and pray we don't get anymore storms this spring.  Our tornado season has just started, it really heats up in April, so send good thoughts.

The dogs seem to sense that a normal is returning.  They are both snoring, I think in a just a little while, I will be snoring too.
Good night, Sweet dreams

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Mother Nature Hits Hard

Still no power, trees are down every where.  We are lucky, our neighbor has trees on his house, and both his vehicles were totaled.  Our barn has some damage, our chicken pen got hit by a tree....but no one in our neighborhood was hurt.  My nephew Haven, brought a couple of his friends up today, and the buzz of chainsaws was music to my ears.  Thank goodness I took a shower yesterday, I will visit my sister tomorrow and use hers.  Life in Alabama in the spring, weather is as changeable as a fickle teenage girl......temps going down in the 20's tonight.....but we have a fireplace!   Thanks for all the good thoughts, no phone service either, we are off the grid!  Came to Rick's sister's to post this quick blog.
More to come tomorrow!

Monday, March 18, 2013

Storms

Trees down in yard no power. No post tonight.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Sharing A Meal

I love to cook, I love to have friends over.....it has been a good day.  Our friends Kaye and Jamie came over and I cooked a St. Patrick's day meal for them.  Corned beef brisket, colcannon, Irish Soda Bread,
and  Nutty Irishmen brownies.  Jamie is an incredible cook, so I am a little intimidated when I cook for him......but tonight, he had second helpings so I knew the food was good.

One of my most favorite movie scenes takes place in Stealing Beauty, it's the Italian countryside,
and all these friends and family members are gathered around a table eating, there is a similar scene in
Chocolat, all these friends and family members sharing a meal.  That is a great joy for me, to cook a wonderful meal and have those I love enjoy it.

I know about all the religious symbols concerning the "last supper", but for me that image of those you love gathered around you, sharing your last meal with you......what more could you ask for?
Sharing a meal......with a lover, it can be quite intimate and enticing.....with friends and family,
bonding, loving, joyous......with strangers, breaking the bread can truly break the ice.

So we had a great meal, listened to some Irish music, and then the four of us sat down and co-wrote,
well started a song.  Whether you're Irish or not, I hope you have had a wonderful St.Patrick's day.....mine has been great!

May all your rainbows end with gold, may all your tears be tears of joy!

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Count Your Blessings

"When I started counting my blessings, my whole world turned around."   - Willie Nelson

I love Willie Nelson, not only for his music, but his spirit.  Counting your blessings really will turn your world around.  It is easy, especially when times are tough, to forget about your blessings.....even when times are good, it is easy to forget to count your blessings.  Counting your blessings, does it make a difference?  You bet it does!

I often tell my students to think of three good things every day.......write them down.  I admit, some days the three blessings may be only be , breathing, breathing, breathing.  But that is a start, then you can look at the sky  or the trees, or the fact there is a roof over your head, or that you have clothes on your back.  You can start with the most basic and I promise your list will grow.

Counting your blessings means that you are starting to see the good in life, you are thinking about the good stuff.  When you think about the good stuff, more of it comes your way.  Counting your blessings means that you are grateful......and with gratitude, comes joy.  I believe counting your blessings brings tender mercies into your life.......tender mercies, those moments when it hits you that life is indeed good, that there is love and goodness, and that you deserve it.

So tomorrow, whether you are in a beautiful cathedral or you are like me, and spend your Sundays
in the most beautiful temple or church of all, nature.......count your blessings.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Delightful

I met one of my followers tonight, we played in the city where she lives and she came to our show.
What an honor to meet someone who reads my blog and to play and sing for her!  It was a joy to meet you Gina, I hope our paths cross again.

We had a great gig tonight, we saw old friends and made some new ones and played at a terrific venue.
And yes, I am exhausted.....but that is ok, it is worth it.

This is St. Paddy's weekend, so tomorrow I will scurry around for all the fixin's for our traditional Irish meal.  We'll be wearing the green on Sunday.

I have my warm fuzzies on, ( polar fleece pj's)  and I hear a hot cup of tea calling my name.
I hope your Friday night has been as delightful as ours.
Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Care-giving

Care giving is tough......I was a care-giver for my mom, and I am a care-giver of sorts in my work.
A good friend called me this morning, and as we discussed the pros and cons of giving care, I realized that for all the good care you give, it can destroy you.  I think about after my mom died, I would look in the mirror and not recognize my own face.  I was exhausted, physically and emotionally.

After I started teaching at the rehab center, for the first couple of years, the same thing happened.......
I worked sick, exhausted, tirelessly.....and almost died.  It took me awhile to understand that we are not endless supplies of care, that our love and passion, our care-giving has to be nourished.  I began to realize that to care for others, you had to care for yourself first. I began to practice what I called the air plane rule.......if the cabin pressure fails, put your mask on first, then help those around you.
I had to be healthy, I had to be happy, I had to be peaceful if I was going to share those things with others.

I have several friends who are in various stages of care-giving.......and I try to gently remind them, they have to put themselves first.......but, I know those words fall on deaf ears.  Until the day comes, that you look in the mirror and don't recognize yourself, or you need care......you think you don't have time to care for yourself, others need you.  Honestly, care-giving can become almost drug like,
it becomes the fuel that keeps you going, "they need me".......but when you crash and burn, when you need care, it becomes a harsh reality, what caring for others and not for yourself can do.

I understand time constraints, I understand the stress, ........but if you are a care-giver, you have to make time for yourself, for your survival.  After all, if you don't make it, then who will care for those that you care for?  Without time for yourself, bitterness, anger and resentment can build, adding to the stress of care giving......and stress can kill.  I suggest a couple of things......first, take time every day to be grateful and see something good in your life, second, take time for you.......five minutes a day to breathe,  call a friend, read a book, take a hot bath......do one thing every day just for you, even if it is just a cup of hot tea.

Care-giving is noble, but destroying yourself in the process is not.  Remember the airplane rule, you get the oxygen first, then share.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Music, My Best Friend

Rick and I have a FaceBook page for our music gigs.  Not only have I been posting up-lifting quotes on my regular FaceBook page, but I am posting musical quotes on our music page.
Here is the one I posted tonight.

"Music was my refuge.  I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness."  - Maya Angelou

I could have personally written this quote.  As a young preteen and teenage girl, music was my best friend.  Whenever I was down, unsure, and felt lost.......music was there.  I listened to everything, from Peter, Paul and Mary to the Stones, to show tunes.  I loved the Doors, and Dylan, Dusty Springfield, Linda Ronstadt,  and Patsy Cline.  If I had a drug of choice as a teenager, it was music.

I used my allowance to buy records or fabric to make my clothes.......When my parents were not at home, I would crank my stereo up as loud as it would go, and then sing along at the top of my lungs.
I played piano, I would have been dangerous if I had been any good at it.

I was gawky and skinny, unsure and blushed fire red every time someone spoke or looked at me.
But when I listened to music, when I sang.......I was that person I knew in my heart I would grow to be.......music was food for my soul and spirit, for the woman yet to come.

I can remember as a child,  my sister had a music box and if I didn't pester her too much, she would let me gently wind the key and dance to the tinkling melody.  Even as a five year old, I understood the power of music.

Music helped me to understand that there were others who thought like me......and much like Ms.
Angelou, music was solace when I was lonely and terrified to face the world.  Happily, music has been the common thread between Rick and I......though sometimes, it has been the source of our pain too.  Music is everything that life is, happiness, love, terror, pain, sadness and joy.....I am so grateful I found my friend music when I was so young.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

150........THANKS!

I was checking out my blog this morning and as I looked at my followers, my jaw dropped......I had reached 150......wow, WOW, THANKS!......now I know that there are bloggers who have hundreds and thousands of people that follow them, but for me this was a big deal.  I am humbled that 150 people have chosen to follow my blog.

I appreciate every one of you.  I hope that in some way, my words and sometimes photographs bring something to your daily life.  I started this blog as a way of spreading hope, as a way of letting others know that someone cared......when the treatments started, it became a way to let others who sat in those green chairs know that someone understood, that I knew what it was like.

You have encouraged me, and there were days when I really thought about giving up and shutting this blog down.  You have sent me love, and hope.....and laughter.  I don't get to read your blogs as often as I wish, but I visit as often as I can.  Your comments are appreciated, the time you spend reading, is even more appreciated.

Tonight, I send blessings of love, wishes for good health and great joy.......and most of all, THANKS!

Monday, March 11, 2013

Clever/Wise

Sometimes I run across a quote that is so profound, my words would only get in the way.
Here is one tonight, enjoy, ponder, think and embrace.


"Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world.
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
                             - Rumi

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Time Change Rant

Today was the first day of daylight saving's time......it is a blessing and a curse, well for me....though most people that I talk with love it.  I understand about coming home from work in the spring, summer and fall and still having daylight, I really do.

For me, it is such a struggle, I naturally awaken when the sun's rays peek through my blinds every morning.......but now that means I wake up and hour later.  My body and head feel out of sorts, and even my most beloved coffee and its heavenly aroma can't jump start this fog.  The dogs seemed out of sorts this morning too, sleepy, slow, not quite ready for their morning walk.  I think this time change messes with your body rhythms.

I personally think that this Daylight Savings Time has helped to increase the dumbing down of Americans.  Study after study has shown  that less sleep leads to weigh gain,  thought processes slow down......do we really exercise more, isn't it just an illusion of more time, do kids need to play ball until ten every night?  It seems this just exacerbates the running on empty syndrome that so many of us experience.  More daylight after work, less sleep, more time to multi-task, and in the fall our mornings are spent in darkness, which I think screws with our systems even more.

Forgive me for my rant......it's the time change, I am all our of sorts.   :)

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Ten Minutes

For the past week, Rick and I have been practicing a writing exercise.  When I read about it, I found it very intriguing, you spend 10 minutes every morning writing anything you want to......but it has to include the seven  senses of sight, touch,  hearing, taste, smell,  organic and kinesthetic.  When the timer goes off, no matter how great the thought, you are to stop writing.  The theory.......that the exercise would enable you to unlock memories, to dive into the recesses of your mind, to free your thoughts.

I have been amazed at what has surfaced through these writings, how much broader and with greater clarity those morning writings have grown.  I have also been amazed at the memories that have surfaced.

The reasoning for stopping at ten minutes, even though you may be writing some profound truth.....
it will percolate in the brain all day and when you write again, it will be even greater.

It is a fun exercise, we get our second cup of coffee, set the timer and write away.  Whether you write songs, poetry, blogs, stories, whatever.......I believe if you try this exercise it will help your writing.
Even if you don't fancy yourself a writer,  try it for a few days just to see what memories come to life......where your thoughts take you......awaken the imagination you thought had died.

If you are a student, a retiree or a corporate giant, I think this exercise will allow you to see all that is around you more clearly, to look outside and inside yourself, and enrich your problem solving skills as well.  Ten minutes each morning, a cup of coffee, a notebook and pen, a timer........try it and let me know how it goes.

Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Friday, March 8, 2013

Good People, Good Energy

I love meeting new songwriters.  I met several today, and they were awesome.....good singers and writers.  There is something about creative energy, the more you are around creative people the energy just increases.  I think that concept applies to anyone......if you are around negative, grumpy, glass half empty types.....that energy, that thought process rubs off on you.
Just think about the people you love to spend time with, I bet they are loving, fun, positive........
and they make you feel that way too.

I have a friend who is a breast cancer survivor, she gave me great advice......spend as little time as possible around those who bring you down, avoid them at all costs.......life is short, why do you want to spend it with those you do not like?  I think of her words often, she is a strong beautiful woman, who has been there for me in my time of need.  Her words ring across my brain almost daily.  I admit we all endure certain people because we have too,  or do we?  I call my personal version of it, getting small, becoming invisible, staying as much out of their radar as I can.  Ok, so now you know my secret.  I have Harry Potter's beloved cloak.  Ha,ha!

I hope that this weekend is one spent with those who make you feel good about yourself, those who inspire you to greatness.......those who love you.  Wishing you sunshine and enough stars to make your every wish come true.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Sunshine

It has been a day of rest for me.  We are facing a  busy weekend, and with treatment yesterday......I knew today had to be an easy one.  My brother Glen and his wife visited me today, and brought me roses!  Glen named me when I was born, I was unexpected, later in life for my parents......he had a girlfriend named Jilda and begged my mom to name me after her.  He married a Shelia and she has always been a good sport about the whole name thing.

The sun came out today, blue skies and sunshine.....it was glorious!  I missed teaching my classes today.  Sadly there is no way that I have the energy to teach for a few days after treatment.
I missed my students, but I will be ready for them by Monday.

Spring is trying her best to appear...... daffodils are every where, the pink plum is in full bloom.....you can smell its faint powdery smell when you walk by the gate.  Tiny almost  microscopic buds of
yellow green and pink are appearing on the tips of branches.  The weather guy is sending out teasers that we might hit the 70 degree mark this weekend......I'll believe it when I feel it.  But the sunshine felt like the universe sent a blessing to all mankind today, a warm sensation of love with a promise that change is coming......just hang on.

Wishing you all a Friday that is filled with sunshine, may you all feel the warmth  and love.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Treatment #14

Treatment #14 today......some days I dread it more than others.  The room was packed when I got there around 9:30 this morning, only a couple of chairs were empty.  Usually I sit in the corner, but today I sat by the window.  It has been a very cold, windy cloudy day, so I carried a blanket with me today to layer with the nice warm one the nurses wrap me in.

One of the nurses mistakenly set my drip too fast, and I didn't know it.  About and hour or so into the infusion, I started to feel disoriented, really anxious, and for no reason tears were flowing down my cheeks.  She asked if I was ok, and I said yes, but she could tell something was wrong. ( ok, so I learned not to be a tough old broad and tell them when something is not right)  She asked one of the other nurses what the top speed for my drip was, I knew the answer.....I told her 75......she had set it on 90.   That might not seem to be much of a difference but trust me, it is major for me.
One of things that I have learned from the support group and on line sites from the company that makes my "juice".......the flow has to be SLOW.   Many of the side effects come from a drip that is too fast, this I have learned the hard way.  The setting starts at 30, then to 50 and tops is 75.....after today, that is permanently etched in my brain.

I saw several of my chair buddies today, the woman that I mentioned in previous posts......she looked.....well, I think her disease is about to beat her.  She didn't talk, she has lost way too much weight, and her eyes were vacant.  Damn those green chairs!    They rob so many.......but to be fair, they also give to many of us.  They are a curse and a blessing.

One of my favorite buddies got there later today, he made a point to come and talk with me while they got the order for his meds.  He makes my day......I asked today as I was leaving if I could hug him, he laughed and told me that if Rick didn't mind I could hug and kiss......I did.  He radiates joy and love.  He made a very profound remark today, I asked how he was doing.......he smiled and said ok....
he said" if we were doing fine, we wouldn't be here."  So true, so very true.  I am waiting for the day that we are all fine.

Today was not my best in the big green chair, but as I looked  around the room......I always remind myself how very lucky I am.......it could be so much worse.  So tonight, when you say your prayers or send out good thoughts, wish on a star....whatever.......ask that one day, we will all be fine.



Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Apprehensive

I got an engagement proposal today.......one of my students ask me if I was available to get engaged.
I laughed, and told him sorry.....it's just my voice.  Between my Southern drawl and hopefully the love and caring that exude as I teach, I get some pretty interesting offers.

One of the nicest things any of my students has ever told me at work......I make them feel human, I treat them as humans.  More than one student has said that to me. It makes me very sad to think there are so many of us out there that don't feel human anymore or we don't treat others as we wish to be treated.

Tomorrow is treatment #3 in the second year......my,my, time flies when you're having fun. :)
I am always apprehensive the night before, I should be use to them by now........I don't think I will ever get use to them.

Thanks for all the great comments on "unfold the myth".
Goodnight, Sweet dreams

Monday, March 4, 2013

The Trouble

This quote was so profound, my words would only get in the way........





"The trouble is, you think you have time."
                                       - Buddha

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Unfold Your Myth

" Don't be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others.
Unfold your own myth. "  - Rumi


Have you ever known someone who seemed to live their life through someone else?  Maybe at some
point in your life or even now, you might be  living your life  through others........time to spread your wings,  unfold your own myth!

I think that my myth has unfolded nicely......many times I have lived fearless, when there was indeed great fear in my heart.  I highly recommend leaps of faith......your story, your myth will unfold quickly. Don't sit in the dark corner, waiting for someone to shine a light on you.......light your candle and light up your world and everyone's around you.

I watched an incredible documentary last night, about a woman from Selma, Alabama, Kathryn Tucker Windham.  It is such a beautiful film, but Kathryn's story creates the beauty.  She was a newspaper woman, when very few women were.  Always fascinated by other people's stories,
she became a world renown story teller.  I had the absolute joy to meet her several years ago, and when she died, Alabama lost a rare treasure.  She created her story by writing and speaking others'
stories.  If you like documentaries, I suggest you watch Kathryn, the story of a teller.

Your myth may not inspire a documentary about your life, but then again it might.  Our lives are so
entwined with each others, by not living your story you have cheated many.  Whether you believe this or not, your story should be told........unfold your myth.




Saturday, March 2, 2013

March 2

March 2.... I usually do this blog on the first day of each month, but I thought that my day with Jordan needed to be shared yesterday.

March  2.......cold and snowy, March truly came in like a lion

March 2.......several gigs this month, practicing like crazy

March 2.......my birthday is this month, so is my sister's, her best friend,  two nieces and two nephews, my sister-in- law's, several friends.....there will be many celebrations

March 2......third treatment of the second year, next week

March 2...... I started the song-writing course from Berkeley today, it is interesting

March 2......one of my favorite holidays, St. Patrick's Day is this month.....yes, Irish food will be served at the Watson house

March 2.......Easter is this month, so is the change to Daylight Saving's Time ( I am not a fan of the time change, in case anyone cares)

March 2.....the first day of spring arrives this month, spring is beautiful here in Alabama, but the weather can become so violent......I have mixed emotions about spring

March 2.......In 1993, we had a blizzard here in Alabama, 18 inches of snow covered the ground for almost a week, on the third morning, it was 22 degrees in our house.

March 2.....it is a month of change and with all the birthdays, an acute awareness of how quickly time is marching on

Friday, March 1, 2013

Cat In The Hat Day

Most of the schools in Alabama this week are celebrating "Read Alabama",  a program that encourages children to read.  They have also celebrated Dr. Seuss' birthday.  Jordan's preschool has been involved, reading Dr. Seuss books all week and having green eggs and ham for lunch today.
I picked him up after lunch and he was beside himself......his teacher had painted all their faces with cat noses, and whiskers, today was also pajama day and mis-matched sock day and Cat In The Hat day.

After I had belted him in his car seat, I took his picture.  He asked why and who.....I replied that I would send it to his Poppa, Nana, "Aunt" Rick and his mom, telling them that I had picked up a stray cat.  He just howled, he loved the joke, and then reminded me to tell them that he was really not a cat.

We had a grand day, I think the picture says it all!